Partner in severe debt

NM2012

Thanks debtinfo. My concern is that I'm working but with no income yet... How do you think they'd view this?

debtinfo

you are working, as simple as that. not sure how many "hours" you actually do, but say you were doing 3 hours a day like a part time person then they would allow childcare for that period and expect you to look after the child the rest of the time etc etc,

NM2012

I work for two full days a week. The other five I'm at home with my daughter. Thanks for the advice.

pleasedelete

To me you are a family. You have made the biggest commitment that you can ever make- to have a child together.
You are parents. Your child needs you both.If he had 1.5 million in the bank I am sure that you wouldn't be saying but it's nothing to do with me as it was his before we met!

Simple answer is that as a family you probably can't afford to be at home now or setting up a business. That's a luxury that most people would like but most can't have. You need to stop thinking about his and yours and think about ours- that includes your joint child. He was happy to support you when you lost your job. That is what partners do- support each other no matter what.

If you get a job then the debt can be paid off. No need for bankruptcy. You will then be able to buy a house together in the future. Sorry if this is hard but I think it's time to grow up a bit and put your child first. You loved this man enough to have a child with him. A child is a long term commitment- you can't just dump the father and move on it it suits you.

pleasedelete

Ps I meant financially dump not physically dump

NM2012

Pleasedelete - I'm afraid you're reply is grossly uninformed. I started to reply but it's not worth it and I didn't come on here for arguments or to be judged so I shall leave it there.

Thank you to all the helpful comments that have been posted, both my partner and I have found those extremely helpful.

silvercar

pleasedelete wrote: »

To me you are a family. You have made the biggest commitment that you can ever make- to have a child together.
You are parents. Your child needs you both.If he had 1.5 million in the bank I am sure that you wouldn't be saying but it's nothing to do with me as it was his before we met!

Simple answer is that as a family you probably can't afford to be at home now or setting up a business. That's a luxury that most people would like but most can't have. You need to stop thinking about his and yours and think about ours- that includes your joint child. He was happy to support you when you lost your job. That is what partners do- support each other no matter what.

If you get a job then the debt can be paid off. No need for bankruptcy. You will then be able to buy a house together in the future. Sorry if this is hard but I think it's time to grow up a bit and put your child first. You loved this man enough to have a child with him. A child is a long term commitment- you can't just dump the father and move on it it suits you.

Your sentiment is correct, but in this situation, with all the debts in his name alone, the quickest way of getting rid of the debt may well be for him to go bankrupt.

In 12 months time, bankruptcy discharged and debt written off, whereas for OP to repay the debt it would take a lot longer to save 40k.

alastairq

If you get a job then the debt can be paid off. No need for bankruptcy

That is easy to say, but possibly not viable/possible to carry out.

If the OH is insolvent, then BR may well provide the best solution as far as creditors are concerned [as that seems to be your main concern?].

Whilst admittedly having had a BR on one's credit record makes things more difficult when it comes to obtaining a mortgage...it isn't impossible.

Certainly no more impossible than if one tried to adopt the alternative scenario....since the credit rating will be equally hammered....[as the OP has already discovered]

If the OH is insolvent, BR will allow a clean start for him.

And I suspect that trying to hide the accumulated debt in the first place, from the lady he chose to 'spend the rest of his life with'...was his attempt to 'start afresh?'

pleasedelete

silvercar wrote: »

Your sentiment is correct, but in this situation, with all the debts in his name alone, the quickest way of getting rid of the debt may well be for him to go bankrupt.

In 12 months time, bankruptcy discharged and debt written off, whereas for OP to repay the debt it would take a lot longer to save 40k.

Except that they want a mortgage to buy a house for their family. That may be more easily achievable (but still hard) if they try and avoid bankruptcy.

pleasedelete

NM2012 wrote: »

Pleasedelete - I'm afraid you're reply is grossly uninformed. I started to reply but it's not worth it and I didn't come on here for arguments or to be judged so I shall leave it there.

Thank you to all the helpful comments that have been posted, both my partner and I have found those extremely helpful.

I respect your opinion but in the 1st post you talk about you wanting to have money for yourself and it being about you and your daughter. Well it isn't- it's about you, your partner and your joint daughter (you used the word my not our which was interesting) In a relationship it's not about what is yours and what is his. It's about what you have together and that includes a lovely child. You also use the word I and not us.

So. Is there anyway by selling what you both have, looking at any assets, selling your cars, you getting a part time job at the weekends or a full time job, him doing overtime or getting another job etc etc that you can help him avoid this?