Partner in severe debt

NM2012

He has checked and thankfully they've revoke the clause in his contract that would of meant his job was terminated.

I don't have an income yet, which is why I'm worried they won't let us have childcare. As my income is going to be the only way we can ever save I'm hoping they allow us to have it...

alastairq

.........................plus....if you do decide to part company, remember, your daughter will 'should' spend half her time with Daddy....so you will end up spending less time with her than you imagine...that is, if you could both keep things amicable?


People in debt do some remarkable things to hide the fact.....your other half was obviously desperate not to give what he considered to be 'the wrong impression'...?

but, in the end, it really is ..only money!


which is, in the greater scheme of things,trivial.....


compared to some of the things 'couples' hide from each other?

kepar

One thing to think about, is that if your partner claims to pay virtually all of the living costs and still gets issued an IPA, if and when you start earning money in the three years of the IPA then that will have to be declared. In that your partner will be paying less towards the allowances as you will be expected to pay your share. So unfortunately there might not be too much spare for the three years if that was the case.

NM2012

Yes I understand this and that is why I'm keen to avoid an IPA if at all possible so that we can move past things and save for the future. But I understand this is very unlikely.

For all posters focussing on whether we split please ignore what was an emotionally charged comment. I'd rather receive advice based on us staying together which is what we both hope we manage to achieve.

silvercar

Maybe others know more, but I can't see how th OR can refuse to allow childcare in his SOA, if that is the cost. If you are both working, you need childcare. The OR might need the explanation that your business is being established and doesn't show much income yet, but it is not for the OR to say that you can't work. In 2012 I don't see an OR being able to make a sexist comment that you should stay at home to look after the kid rather than try to establish a business.

suburbanwifey

sundays wrote: »

Ive not read all the threads but have read your reasons and esp you may ditch him as he is not worthy anymore , im assuming it is because he cant give you the cash /gifts.

A single parent should be grateful for a honest bloke, in fact you are turning him over as he is now longer worthy to you.

Bankrupt or not he is well rid of the poster.

And why not get a proper job opposed to rely on him to prop you up whilst you decide what is appropriate for you . Plenty of cleanong jobs out there.

I read the OP and thought she sounded like she didn't want him any more as he couldn't afford to support her. I didn't want to comment then as I wondered if others would see the original post in the same way. Poor guy.

NM2012

Silvercar - Thank you for this, it's very helpful, unlike some of the other comments. Really appreciate this guidance.

debs154

NM2012 - for some reason you always get people who come on here and want to criticise an individual who has aked a question - a strange and small minded reaction but that's the risk with an open forum.

Good luck and I hope you find the solution you need.

alastairq

Ive not read all the threads

to the OP.....the above extract sums up how things can be read on here.....

we can accept that when first posting you were in a somewhat confused and emotional state...but as the day has worn on, you have started to see some reason....so it is best to ignore any negative posts...I'm sure the posters also see a change???

debtinfo

The OR will allow childcare costs if both the parents are working and are literally not there to look after the child