Hola from Mola - the thread killer is back!

Sea78

I also need to get back on that healthy eating wagon!!

Mola - anymore ideas about the actual wedding? Have you got the candles and wreath thingys already for the tables? How about invites? Favours?

Sea xx

Molanole

Another month gone and I suppose it's time for another update! Egg Loan overpayment has cleared and so the debt totals are:

Egg Loan £6,836.32
HSBC Loan £4,622.77
& More Card £1,858.98
Total £13,318.07

Just 33% of starting debt left to go now!

Warning!! Miserable, long winded whinge follows. Close this window now if you don't want to put up with my self pity!!!

Trouble is, I'm feeling pretty down with everything at the moment. I wanted to be debt free by the end of the year which is probably not going to happen now. I will have the Egg Loan paid off by the time I get made redundant though which is a good thing as the minimums are £509 pcm! :eek:

I can only do this though if I continue living with the inlaws-to-be. And to be honest, being here is depressing me no end. They mean so well and I'm grateful that they're allowing us into their home like this but it is getting me down somewhat. It's the little things that get me down, like having to give a time as to when I'll be home, explaining in detail where I'm going (I'm 31 next month people) and when I am home not being able to watch TV (cos they've some weird set up which means we can't get reception in our room and MIL2B is always watching Eastenders/Coronation St/Football).

The commute is a killer (two hours door to door) and when I get to work it's just crappy. You'd think that people would show a little sympathy over our redundancy situation but no, it's almost as though they're thinking "they're on their way out, let's do our damndest to stab them in the back on the way". Nice. I wish I could jack it in now but there's nothing out there in the field I'm in, at my level and my salary. I can't justify taking the pay cut at this juncture with so much riding on what I bring home (wedding, debts, saving house deposit....). H2B fails to realise that I won't be able to support us both for much longer but seems to carry on regardless. Racking up debt, not sticking to his budget.

I'm so unenthused about the wedding. I've veered back from "it's the only day I'll get to do this so I'll spend what I want" to seeing the whole thing as a money pit, a total pain and an excuse for family members to criticise and casue problems. I just want to throw in the towel.

Sorry, I'm thoroughly grumpy today. Odd that I don't have anyone to talk to about all this than you guys. I'm worried that my friends will get p*d off with me soon as I'm always so miserable.

elantan

oh mol hun i wish i could do those dodgy cuddles ....i looked at the dresses not very good with weddings however i think your better off with sea and isom there...

it is hard staying with people isnt it? we used to have to stay with my inlaws ..not fun believe me ...thankfully though now we have our own place ...i know that must seem such a long way away for you both but i can assure you its worth the wait in the long run having your own place is second to none ..chin up babes

poorbabe

"H2B fails to realise that I won't be able to support us both for much longer but seems to carry on regardless. Racking up debt, not sticking to his budget."



Hi Mola, we've never met and I've just skimmed through your thread so apols if I've missed something. I'm a little concerned at your sentence above. Our down days are bad enough if one is single, but I can only assume could be a lot worse if one half of a couple is is pulling the other one.

Have a chat with H2B asap about the situation. He might think things are rolling along great when they clearly aren't from your perspective.

(((Mola))) hang in there. Someone will be along shortly to lean on your shoulder :rolleyes: :rotfl:

Molanole

That's just the thing poorbabe. We have talked about it. I was in tears about it to him not so long ago. He just thinks I'm going to leave him for someone who can "provide" for me better than he can so we end up stuck. Never mind that I point out all the non-financial ways in which he does provide for me. He's feeling emasculated and I can see his point.

We did turn a corner recently though where I've kind of taken over the management of his monthly budget (i.e. I work out all his payments and tell him what he's got to spend that month). I also logged into his account and made a loan over payment for him the other day and he didn't mind. So he's not all bad. He's just not had his lightbulb and I fear that it will come when I am made redundant.

I think it's just lots of fairly miserable but not major things happening and the combination of all of them at the same time is just a bit too much for me. I'll pull through it eventually but right now I'm in a wallowing in self pity place!

TY el and poorbabe (and rog - I see you lurking there )

Mola x

Oh - and El? I'd really value your opinion on the dresses if you'd like to make one. Don't be shy.

rog2

Molanole wrote: »

and rog - I see you lurking there

'Lurking' - Moi?

Perish the thought, Moley :rolleyes: . I have been a long-term subscriber to this thread, and, having been the one, in my own relationship, not to have, originally, faced up to my situation, even though my wife could see that we were heading for trouble, I know how difficult it is for you.
You seem to be handling things well.

Molanole

Thanks rog. And thanks for sticking with me. It's really nice for me to know that someone is out there looking in occasionally. Being in debt, as you all know, is one of the loneliest feelings in the world and I'm just grateful that you're all here with me (not that you're all in debt too but that you're all here as a community, oh, you know what I mean!:rolleyes: )

Mola x

Sea78

Huhs mola - what a situation. Not sure what else to suggest - just keep trying to talk to him about it I guess.

Sea xxx

In_Search_Of_Me

Just caught his...sorry that things are tough for you. I can understand whay staying with MILTB is hard - esp if she watches coronation street - sorry those that do but I just dont get soaps and they alone would be enough to make me want to kill myself tbh!! Would it be wrth looking at getting sky/cable multi room as an interim compromise and that way you can escape to your room at least?
Re the OH all I can say is this is a long standing issue...(as I'm sure you know) and ony you know how much you can put up with. Its all very well being supportive in other ways but the debt causes major hassle and stress for you and mean making choices ou wouldnt have wanted to. If his spending doesent stop then this cycle will continue as you struggle to pay things off while he just racks it up and long term thats not a good thing and will put any relationship under pressure. What is his reason behind the spending? What is he spending it on? Can you reach a compromise and give him extra pocket money but have his cards so he cant overspend?
The totals are doing fantastically well and while I can totally understand your frustration at not being debt free by the end of the year you have done SO well to pay this much off so uickly - plus you have wedding costs etc to bear and theyre not cheap! Do you get good redundency package?
How are you doing with the dress choices?
Sorry things are tough and hope you feel on the up soon - that commutes awful btw - no wonder youre tired & fed up!! I did one day when I had to get up at 5 for a course in London & it was a killer - dont know how people do it every day!

Molanole

Hey all.

Tis the start of another month on my debt free journey (does anyone else feel like they wish the months away so that they can see their debts going down?). So, time for another little update on life in the world of Mola's debt assasination (and other fripperies).

I've got a few overpayments still to come this month (but I have to time them otherwise Egg get all confused by them) so my interim April debt totals stand at:

Egg Loan: £6,371.82
HSBC Loan: £4,421.78
M&S Card: £1,812,34

TOTAL: £12,605.94

I've a payment of £510 lined up for the Egg Loan. How I wish I could locate another £90 so that I could get below the £12K mark. Will have to ponder that one :rolleyes:

Ok, now for the rest of life stuff. Work situation fairly depressing still. There's not much out there job wise and my redundancy date might even be moved forward a couple of months which is a bit of a pain. Not really sure how it works so I'm thinking of joining the union so that I can make sure I'm properly informed. The subscriptions aren't in my budget but for this I may have to make an exception. I've got a meeting next week with senior management though so hopefully I'll get some clarity then.

On a more positive note I think I may have found THE dress. I'm sooooo excited and just had to share:




What do you all think??