Finally I have a mortgage I can start to pay off!

Cheery_Daff

Glad you had a conversation with your mum. So difficult, and not helpful if you're having your own wobbles as well. Quite understandable wobbles as well. We definitely saw it as an experiment - a kind of 'if we're going to be brave and try something new, now's the time'. I still have a property alert set up for moving back to the city of necessary 😂 Mind you, once we moved I vowed I was never moving house ever again as it was such a palaver! 

themadvix

Oh Cheery, you have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear you say that you had these sorts of thoughts and took the experiment attitude! (And to know you have a property alert still on the go 😂). I think mum is very much of the opinion that this is it, forever and there's no going back (which is an attitude I certainly have got (from her?) but am trying to push back against and reframe). So it's really lovely to know that how I feel is not unusual and that I'm therefore not making a huge mistake if I feel like this! Thank you *so* much for writing that!

(Have never been much of a risk taker, especially since my first year at uni when I was seriously unhappy - but life is for living and following dreams, so we've got to try it!)

Staffordia

It is inevitable that a big change will result in are we doing the right thing questions.

If it doesn't work out there is always a solution, you will still have property to use to buy a new house somewhere else.  However you'll probably look back in a couple of years and think thank goodness we took this opportunity.

try_harder

I have five children three of them live away .I am just really happy that they are all confident thats the most important thing to me ,our job as a mother is to see our children get their wings and be independent then we know we have achieved what we set out to do ..I think maybe your mum just feels sad at not seeing you as much but she will get used to it and as you say it is only an hour or twos drive away its really not that far at all ,you must grab the opportunity with both hands and live your dream 

Chiglepig

Such a big move is bound to bring a few wobbles, @themadvix, but think about the opportunities, and quite right, it doesn't have to be forever - you fell in love with the place, if you had to sell, someone else will too - you's probably have quite a few takers here on the board!!

Karmacat

Lots of lovely support for you on here, that's great.  I agree with all of it especially Cheery's point about "this is an experiment" - I'm still not quite decided to stay in this house, and/or in this town, even though I've put so much work into this house.  

And unknowns are bound to get you feeling wobbly!  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof ... because you're doing all the right things, taking all the right steps, exploring all the avenues.

themadvix

Thanks all you lovely people. You've really made me feel that it's normal to feel like I'm feeling - which is hugely reassuring. I've never really made a big scary decision before! And Karma, you're totally right, it's the unknowns, but I'm learning to accept unknowns rather than shy away from them.

Fortune_Smiles

We had wobbles too MV.  We moved over 240 miles to a bigger house, where we didn't know anyone and had a complete change of lifestyle - it was exciting... and terrifying 😨  But we were chasing a dream and at an age where, if we didn't do it then the chance would pass us by for ever  It was strange to start with and there are still some things about my old life I miss.  However, we have never regretted it and there are many more things I've gained than I've lost.

Wherever you are you can build a great life.

Fortune x

Cheery_Daff

We actually feel quite empowered by our move now 😂 we regularly look back and marvel that we were "brave" enough, and that we actually got our acts together to do it. I say "brave" because we actually only moved about 35 miles away, and I still have the same job  and we're still within an hour of most of our friends, so it wasn't technically that "brave"... 😂

But Mr Cheery had lived in our old house for 28 years, and I suspect would have just stayed there forever if I'd not started talking about chickens and washing lines... and the stars aligned in the form of paying off the old mortgage, me getting a new (better paid) job, slowly deciding to decorate and fix up the old house 'just in case' we wanted to 'think' about moving, and then an awful rigmarole with the neighbours essentially gave us the shove to move to the middle of nowhere.

I suppose in the back of our minds was we're not getting any younger, the longer we stay the more we'll feel like we can't move. 

One thing that helped me when I was fretting was to try to get other people excited about what we were doing - a tactic i still try today when walls are falling down and everything is doing my head in. Seeing the plan through an excited person's eyes helps me feel excited again 😊

themadvix

Afternoon all,

Thanks Fortune and Cheery So much wisdom and support here Feeling much more positive again today and had a lovely response from a lady at the SPAB (Society for the Protection of Ancient Buildings, but it just reminds me of SPEW in Harry Potter!). They have so many resources on their website and she's given me pointers to them. There's even a free phone line for advice on weekday mornings - how brilliant!

Eventually finished my work last night (about 9pm, entirely due to distraction/laziness, not volume of work!) and was up late requesting things on Olio which for the most part I did not get assigned, which was irritating (but probably they went to people more in need than me, so that's fair enough). In the end as the bits I did get assigned were BBE rather than Use By, I went and collected this morning - which meant I walked instead of driving.

Should have the American project to be cracking on with today but there's yet another technical issue. The time difference is a real issue for resolving problems with this project, especially as it's a quick turnaround time and there always seem to be problems. So frustrating!

In the meantime, the plumber is on his way to service the boiler. I need to go to the zero-waste shop this afternoon and DH is off to the solicitors (and I need to print stuff for him to take). Waiting to hear about mortgage valuation/final decision before booking our survey... presumably it won't be long now they've looked at the property.

MS things:
* Free (organic) carrots, oranges and a French baton (for garlic bread)
* Bought milk from Coop rather than upping the M&M order (in absence of R'ford delivery)
* Small platform job
* Cat customers for weekend visited yesterday and they seem easy to deal with (hopefully no presents-  apparently the boy has brought in a giant rat and a bat in the past!)
* Clicks done and surveys done

Gratitudes:
* Nice chat with Olio lady
* Very helpful email from SPAB
* DH will be home from all his hectic travels later!

Have a good afternoon all!