Unwanted difficult decision-help pls if you can.

bundance

suburbanwifey wrote: »

There is always a solution to every problem you may face, its just finding the right solution for you. Worry stops clear thinking and good decision making. Facing challenges makes us all stronger and better. This is just a challenge, that is all. I personally (and its just my opinion here, before anyone says anything as per usual) is that you will pass that medical. Your problems are serious and you probably are not well enough to work right now, but you have 4 years to get better before that mortgage fixed rate ends .... 4 years to get better, forget what tranquilizers even look like and to rebuild your life, maybe get a job, friends and a new fixed rate deal. Don't give up, I'd like to see your story have a happy ending!

Thanks for this lovely post, I appreciate it.

bundance

motherofstudents wrote: »

Sorry you are feeling this way. Do you know you are definitely going to have a medical, have you filled any forms in ? You have already jumped ahead and had your benefit stopped, lost your home, can't rent anywhere......this is completely understandable and part of your illness. If you were not worried by the prospect of the medical you would probably be able to work and the problem would be solved.

The priority I think, is to get as much information as you can about the process the DWP will follow. Try the benefits board and you may find people who are knowlegeable enough to help you specifically with the benefit side of things. What you are afraid of may never happen. I would go to your GP and explain your worries and how it is making you feel worse. Make sure this is recorded. If you have to go for a medical, you will hopefully have found out as much as possible about how they work. There may well be people who have been through it and can tell you what to expect. If you are genuinely unable to work, then you can't.

The government has a lot to answer for. You are not alone in being frightened of what might happen. All I can suggest to you is don't jump ahead so much, try to take one step at a time. Cross each bridge as you come to it and it won't be so daunting. Can you try to take an hour every day to collect information, then the rest of the day try to put it out of your mind ? Not as easy as it sounds I know. Please come back and report how you get on. I'm confident it will not be as bad as you think.

Apparently all people on IB have to have a medical.
I am a member of the benefits board.
My GP knows my worries and is happy to supply a letter shold I need on e.
Yes, the government are making a lot of people insecure and anxious, actualy hindering the recovery process of many ill peole who want to recover and make their own money.
Thank you for sayig you are confident it will not be as bad as I think.

GDB2222

hi, I hope you start to feel better soon. Certainly, the way you are writing on this board, you do come across as somebody who is suffering from severe anxiety. Looking on the bright side, it is entirely possible that the outcome of the medical examination will be that you need to remain on invalidity benefit for some time longer.

If the worst does come to the worst, and your house must be sold, as I understand it, the benefits system works roughly like this: –

If you sell your flat, you will have roughly £35,000 of capital. Whilst you have this capital, you are not eligible for any means-tested benefits. You are expected to support yourself until you have only £16,000 of capital left. As a private landlord, I can absolutely reassure you that most landlords would be most happy to have you as a tenant, given that you would have money in the bank to cover the rent.

Once you have whittled your capital in the bank down to £16,000, you will become eligible for means-tested benefits. You can make an estimate of what you would be entitled to by using one of the websites such as http://www.turn2us.org.uk/

I think you should go through a website such as that, putting in reasonable figures from rent and rates, as well as your pension income of £400 per month, in order to come up with an idea of what you actually will end up with in those circumstances.

ruggedtoast

bundance wrote: »

I've been signed off sick - I even took my old claim to the CAB last year and told them how I was then and how I was now, and the manager at the CAB who is well informed in welfare told me that there was nothing I needed to tel the dwp.
I can give saucy phonelines a try, while informing the dWp but it doesn't mean I am capable of holding down a proper job.

"Saucy" phone lines are more commonly known as sex lines. Your job, as it were, would involve talking strange, desperate men to the point of climax on the other end of a telephone via elaborate and often weird role plays.

Are you seriously saying you can do that, but you can't just get a zero stress temp job filing or working on a checkout 30 hours a week?

dancingfairy

o.k So you have various options as far as I can see.
1) Sell and rent - perfectly doable financially with your equity. You should be able to pay 6months up front to secure a rental. O.K it will be harded given the credit rating thing but you still should be able to do it. The bigger problem would seem to be the hassle/stress of having to move and the insecurity of tenure - ie possibly having to move every 6 months.
2) Try and stay in your house. This would seem to be the most sensible option. When is the medical? Are you managing o.k finance wise for now? I think what I would be inclined to do is try and save up a little bit before the medical if possible - even if you only manage 20 pounds (anything would give you a small cushion). Clearly the medical does not help people with stress and depression as it is making you more stressed and anxious. Do try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know). I would assume that you are staying in your house as normal for now. Obviously IF there are problems with the medical then you will need to appeal (in which case the small emergency fund may come in handy). IF there is a problem with the mortgage then you should communicate with the lender and try and come to some sort of arrangement with them - ie make part payments on the mortgage for a while or cease payments while looking for a buyer etc etc. What I mean is, IF you get to this situation then you will have to decide what's best when the time comes. There are so many if's , but's and maybe's right now that I don't think you can look too far ahead and it's probably not the time to be making any major life changing decision right now. I'd just sit tight and wait and see how things pan out.
Best of Luck
df

dancingfairy

Seeking work is great IF you are well enough to do it. At the moment however it doesn't sound like you are in a position to do any - unless it is just a few hours a week somewhere? Perhaps wait a while and see how things settle down? Volunteering for a charity may be a way forward. It would hopefully build up your confidence and would hopefully help you find a small part time job in the longer term. Are there any support groups in your area for people with mental health problems - perhaps you could just drop in and have a chat or something?
Oh and if you are eligible I'd claim the benefit towards the mortgage as well.
Small steps. It can seem ridiculously slow and like you are not getting anywhere but one day you will look back and see how far you have come.
Best of Luck
df

bundance

GDB2222 wrote: »

hi, I hope you start to feel better soon. Certainly, the way you are writing on this board, you do come across as somebody who is suffering from severe anxiety. Looking on the bright side, it is entirely possible that the outcome of the medical examination will be that you need to remain on invalidity benefit for some time longer.

If the worst does come to the worst, and your house must be sold, as I understand it, the benefits system works roughly like this: –

If you sell your flat, you will have roughly £35,000 of capital. Whilst you have this capital, you are not eligible for any means-tested benefits. You are expected to support yourself until you have only £16,000 of capital left. As a private landlord, I can absolutely reassure you that most landlords would be most happy to have you as a tenant, given that you would have money in the bank to cover the rent.

Once you have whittled your capital in the bank down to £16,000, you will become eligible for means-tested benefits. You can make an estimate of what you would be entitled to by using one of the websites such as http://www.turn2us.org.uk/

I think you should go through a website such as that, putting in reasonable figures from rent and rates, as well as your pension income of £400 per month, in order to come up with an idea of what you actually will end up with in those circumstances.

Hi GDB

Thanks for this post.
I did use turn2us last year, and yes, they are good.
Thank you for explaining the rental side of things.

bundance

ruggedtoast wrote: »

"Saucy" phone lines are more commonly known as sex lines. Your job, as it were, would involve talking strange, desperate men to the point of climax on the other end of a telephone via elaborate and often weird role plays.

Are you seriously saying you can do that, but you can't just get a zero stress temp job filing or working on a checkout 30 hours a week?

Don't you think, I would have already gone for filing or checkout jobs, earning my own money, rather than being on the dole?

It sounds as if you have never done eiether of these jobs because if you had you would know they are stressful.

With all due respect you know nothing about my condition or history.

I'm, all ears if you have something helpful to say.

bundance

dancingfairy wrote: »

o.k So you have various options as far as I can see.
1) Sell and rent - perfectly doable financially with your equity. You should be able to pay 6months up front to secure a rental. O.K it will be harded given the credit rating thing but you still should be able to do it. The bigger problem would seem to be the hassle/stress of having to move and the insecurity of tenure - ie possibly having to move every 6 months.
2) Try and stay in your house. This would seem to be the most sensible option. When is the medical? Are you managing o.k finance wise for now? I think what I would be inclined to do is try and save up a little bit before the medical if possible - even if you only manage 20 pounds (anything would give you a small cushion). Clearly the medical does not help people with stress and depression as it is making you more stressed and anxious. Do try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know). I would assume that you are staying in your house as normal for now. Obviously IF there are problems with the medical then you will need to appeal (in which case the small emergency fund may come in handy). IF there is a problem with the mortgage then you should communicate with the lender and try and come to some sort of arrangement with them - ie make part payments on the mortgage for a while or cease payments while looking for a buyer etc etc. What I mean is, IF you get to this situation then you will have to decide what's best when the time comes. There are so many if's , but's and maybe's right now that I don't think you can look too far ahead and it's probably not the time to be making any major life changing decision right now. I'd just sit tight and wait and see how things pan out.
Best of Luck
df

Thanks for your post dancingfairy.
Yes, I am in a very vulnerable position.
I went to my doctors last week as I am feeling on the edge of a breakdown and the doctor increased my anxiety meds (not the tranquiliser as that would make me worse)
I have to report back to the doctor in 2-3 weeks.

The slightest stress is setting me off, and yes, the forthcoming medical is making me worse not better.
I am not coping with the slightest stressors let alone massive life changing decisions.
Moving house every six months would certainly NOT be recommended by the tranquiliser support groups I use. In fact, big stressors are known to set back the recovery of someone who is in tranquiliser withdrawal, let alone someone like me with pre-existing anxiety and depression from childhood.

I am managing my finances at the moment, so long as I am careful which I am.

I would just rather not have to be faced with these big decisions because if I wasn't, maybe I could get on with my recovery instead of being dragged further down.

I appreciate your post though, thanks for visitng my thread.

bundance

dancingfairy wrote: »

Seeking work is great IF you are well enough to do it. At the moment however it doesn't sound like you are in a position to do any - unless it is just a few hours a week somewhere? Perhaps wait a while and see how things settle down? Volunteering for a charity may be a way forward. It would hopefully build up your confidence and would hopefully help you find a small part time job in the longer term. Are there any support groups in your area for people with mental health problems - perhaps you could just drop in and have a chat or something?
Oh and if you are eligible I'd claim the benefit towards the mortgage as well.
Small steps. It can seem ridiculously slow and like you are not getting anywhere but one day you will look back and see how far you have come.
Best of Luck
df

Hi agian Dancing Fairy

I did put in for a charity volunraty job, but when it came down to it, I just wasnt well enough.
I was attending mental health support groups but became too unwell to go.
Many people, (not saying you are) think depression and anxiety is lazy, but these people have not clearly experienced depression and anxiety on a scale that I am experiencing.
I tried to phone the dWP about claiming morgage relief but, although I tried hard, as I was not expressing myself properly, I kept getting bounced around from pillar to post and this made me more anxious. (can't even do this right) so I will have to go the CAB route to get a capable person to do this for me., if I want to go ahead with this claim.