Unwanted difficult decision-help pls if you can.

suburbanwifey

bundance wrote: »

No probs re answering questions, thank you for respecting my privacy.
My mortgage is fixed until 2016 at 5.18%

Thanks for tellig me you've usually found there is always a solution to most problems, it just needs to be figured out)

My anxiety is worsening due to tranquliser withdrawal.
I am on a slow reduction program under the doctor, but cannot hope to realistically heal until I am off the tranqulisers and I still have a way to go.

Please can I ask you, why would my rent cost me way more than that on most rentals?

You are right, I don't want to uproot but this flat needs a lot doing to it, big things, and I will feel much more secure if I could get an alternative income to enable me to stay here.

My health would worsen if I were forced to leave this flat.
Rather than be turfed out, I want to improve it.

It would be ludicrous to lose my home.

Thank you for this post and for wishing I can get more help, and also for thinking about my problem. I really appreciate it.

Hi

Hope you are feeling OK today, ignore some of the snide posts you are being left, there are people like that all over the internet. I usually find ignoring them treats them with the contempt they deserve.

I said about the rental costs being more than what you are paying for your mortgage because from what I have seen about average rental prices that seems to be the case to me. For quite a while now, in general a mortgage is cheaper to pay per month than rent. When you rent you are paying someone else's mortgage and lining their pockets for their future, not yours.

The posters who suggest you sell up and rent, well - yes, you have that equity in your property (wouldn't that be more useful to you on Equity release in retirement so you can enjoy your latter years, money worries free etc ... Equity release is perfect for those who have no dependents to leave anything to, it means all that money you paid into your mortgage during your working years you can get a good portion of it back to enjoy yourself when old, rather than having your property used to pay for care homes or going to the State when you die and have no one to leave anything to etc.) BUT if you go on to rent, all that equity you have amassed over the years of paying a mortgage will just be spent and lost giving it to a landlord! See what I am saying? This is why I suggest you try at all costs to keep your home.

So yes, I would ignore them, they want you to lose your home and end up spending all your money on rent to make some landlord rich in his old age, they are not advising what is best for you. Do whats best for you, ignore what others say, they don't matter, its not their lives, its yours.

Regarding someone attacking you for saying you could consider a phone chat line job, I think that could work for you! You work from home, no traveling and less of the pressures of normal jobs where you have to go out to work - meeting new people, etc. Anxiety may not cope well with that. On a chat line job, you are incognito, pretending to be someone else, more than doable! Think about that some, though from what I know you have to go self employed so your earnings are based on how many calls a week you take, either part time or full time. But you don't need to worry about that at the moment as you haven't failed the medical yet and you don't know that you will, you are just worrying that you will. Understandable, but try to think more positively. We project our wishes out there into the universe, what we wish for comes true - think of failure and failure is what we shall get etc. Do your best on the medical, tell them all the problems you have, do not hide the cutting, they need to know to make an accurate assessment. If they fail you and you think they are wrong, then appeal! Do not ever give up if you are in the right. Fight. Find your inner strength, its in all of us. Find it and use it, its there to help you and guide you.

I feel for you coming off tranquilizers, that can not be easy, but you can do it. Tranquilisers are not good for you long term, you will be better and healthier in the long run without them. Again, find your inner strength, grasp life by the nuts and be a fighter! Don't let anything knock you down, if it does, get back up and face it! You get stronger emotionally every time you do. You'll think clearer without tranquilizers, you don't need them.

Yes, it would be ludicrous to lose your home. You're on the right track there. So, you need to face the ATOS team, deal with that medical and try to stop worrying. If you pass that medical, all this worry and making yourself ill will have been a waste of time and of life. Life is precious, treasure every moment. Don't worry until you have a problem, most things we all worry about never come to pass. Worry and fear and the enemies of humans. Kick worry and fear up the a$$ and tell it to go elsewhere

A part time job should it come to that would replace the money you have lost and would ease you back into work. With the small pension you have, part time would be enough for you - either part time on the chat lines or in a local job so you don't need to worry about travel and making a few friends might make your life a bit happier.

You've got 4 years until your fixed mortgage deal comes to an end, a lot can happen in 4 years trust me, things can change, lives can be turned around, the past a long distant memory. Just take that first step, decide you are going to keep your home (you worked hard for it when you were working and you've done your best to keep it all together, you are not going to give up now!) and face that medical, if you are too ill to return to work, they WILL see that and if they don't, fine! FIGHT them at appeal and then win. You can see? its all about attitude and determination. The same determination that will get those tranquilizers out of your life for good.

suburbanwifey

There is always a solution to every problem you may face, its just finding the right solution for you. Worry stops clear thinking and good decision making. Facing challenges makes us all stronger and better. This is just a challenge, that is all. I personally (and its just my opinion here, before anyone says anything as per usual) is that you will pass that medical. Your problems are serious and you probably are not well enough to work right now, but you have 4 years to get better before that mortgage fixed rate ends .... 4 years to get better, forget what tranquilizers even look like and to rebuild your life, maybe get a job, friends and a new fixed rate deal. Don't give up, I'd like to see your story have a happy ending!

suburbanwifey

gallygirl wrote: »

You may be able to find a private landlord who would take you on - I rent properties out and would be happy to do so if I was shown a bank account with sufficient money in it.

If you have a flat worth only 75k I'm guessing you're in a Northern city or maybe East Mids ex-mining area? Have you actually looked to see how much a flat would be to rent? Am guessing not too bad? £500 a month would be 6k a year, well within your means for a while until you are able to work again.

You sound intelligent and I hope you can rationalise enough about your illness to realise you're displaying classic depressive thinking - the situation is NOT hopeless, just challenging. I don't know what to hope for best - whether you are well enough to come off benefits so you do face this dilemma, or whether you pass/fail (not sure how to judge it!) the medical and stay on benefits.

Good luck and remember it is NOT hopeless

Renting a flat from someone else will cost them 6K a year, in 4 years that will be 24K down the pan (pardon my phraseology) 24 K that will be lost, when a smaller payment will keep them in their own home that they own, and in 4 years time their equity will be HIGHER and they will be asset richer if they can stay in their own home. Also, on maturity of the mortgage they will pay nothing to live in their home on retirement - in a rented flat they will have to pay rent until they die.

I know what I would rather do with 24K, and I think the OP feels the same which is why they are trying to find a way to stay in their own flat rather than paying someone else's mortgage for them.

With all respects to you as a landlord/lady-

gallygirl

suburbanwifey wrote: »

Renting a flat from someone else will cost them 6K a year, in 4 years that will be 24K down the pan (pardon my phraseology) 24 K that will be lost, when a smaller payment will keep them in their own home that they own, and in 4 years time their equity will be HIGHER and they will be asset richer if they can stay in their own home. Also, on maturity of the mortgage they will pay nothing to live in their home on retirement - in a rented flat they will have to pay rent until they die.

I know what I would rather do with 24K, and I think the OP feels the same which is why they are trying to find a way to stay in their own flat rather than paying someone else's mortgage for them.

With all respects to you as a landlord/lady-

I quite agree - sorry, I didn't make that clear. However, if benefit is stopped but the OP can't work then renting is an option. If she has no more income than at present it may be her only one - yes, it costs more to rent than pay her mortgage but her only way to get any more money may be to free up her capital. Catch 22, I know.

I think she needs to know that for all possible outcomes there is a solution - some preferable to others, but at least knowing that the worst case scenario is a long way from being homeless should give her a little comfort.

Ulfar

Given the wide array of stories in the press about the way things are going with benefits, if ATOS decide against you make sure you appeal and make sure it is done in time. Also get advice from citizens advice bureau.

motherofstudents

Sorry you are feeling this way. Do you know you are definitely going to have a medical, have you filled any forms in ? You have already jumped ahead and had your benefit stopped, lost your home, can't rent anywhere......this is completely understandable and part of your illness. If you were not worried by the prospect of the medical you would probably be able to work and the problem would be solved.

The priority I think, is to get as much information as you can about the process the DWP will follow. Try the benefits board and you may find people who are knowlegeable enough to help you specifically with the benefit side of things. What you are afraid of may never happen. I would go to your GP and explain your worries and how it is making you feel worse. Make sure this is recorded. If you have to go for a medical, you will hopefully have found out as much as possible about how they work. There may well be people who have been through it and can tell you what to expect. If you are genuinely unable to work, then you can't.

The government has a lot to answer for. You are not alone in being frightened of what might happen. All I can suggest to you is don't jump ahead so much, try to take one step at a time. Cross each bridge as you come to it and it won't be so daunting. Can you try to take an hour every day to collect information, then the rest of the day try to put it out of your mind ? Not as easy as it sounds I know. Please come back and report how you get on. I'm confident it will not be as bad as you think.

bundance

duchy wrote: »

Do you have any hobbies you could use to make some money ? You mentioned art I think ?Any other talents ?

I have some ideas up my sleeve. I have an artist friend who is very experienced and is just started to put himself out there with this work, he has sold a few pictures.

suburbanwifey

bundance wrote: »

I have some ideas up my sleeve. I have an artist friend who is very experienced and is just started to put himself out there with this work, he has sold a few pictures.

Good for you girl! :j A girl with ideas makes things happen. I so wish I could draw or paint but sadly, I am not artistic in that way at all, the written word and photography are my artistic talents, still wish I could draw though

Feeling more positive today?

bundance

Ulfar wrote: »

First thing is to apply for SMI it won't cover all of your interest payments but any help is something. You mentioned £19.00 thinking it was monthly given the figures you have given and your income you might want to check but the £19.00 may be a weekly figure.

Then given your circumstances how about a part time job, it wouldn't take many hours to keep you in your own home.

I am assuming you have considered council tax benefit and tax credits.

I phoned up the DWP today to make a mortgage iterest releif claim and got bounced between two numbers 4 times.
One said they couldn't do it because I was not on severe disability premium. The other said that as I am on middle rate dla I should be on severe disability premium.
I used to be on severe disablility premium before I got my pension from work, but they stopped this along with my income support, and have no record of me being on income support cos it was in 2006. Unfortunately, I threw all my income suport paperwrok out and only kept my incap and dla papers.

Each of the two dwp numbers I rang kept referring me repeatedly to the other, and in the end one woman just told me to see the CAB.
I originaly rang dwp direct to cut out having to go to CAB, but for some reason, I just could not get through to the right person in the dwp.

bundance

Corelli wrote: »

Hi,

hopefully you will not be in a position to have to make this decision about your housing. My feeling is that although you are very sensibly looking at a worse case scenario and planning for it you should also be looking at the medical assesment and how to get through that.

It is not always bad news, a close family member who has various emotional difficulties and has a history of heroin and alchohol abuse (clean for many years now) failed her first assesment but got her benefit reinstated after apealing. I know a lot of very genuine people have been turned down but there are still people who do get support after the assessment. A recent radio 4 programme followed various people through the process and you might find it worth listening to:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b018csz1

I'm new here and don't know my way around the forums yet, I expect there is somewhere here for support around this.

Regarding having a lodger, could you not take over the living room so in effect it became a home with two bedrooms but no living room? Are there rules to prevent that?

If you can cope with a lodger and find someone you could share with that is.

Wishing you well at this dificult time.

Hi Corelli

Thanks for the radio 4 link.
Yes, I hope I don't get faced with that horrible decision, its enough stress for anyone, let alone a naturaly nervous person withdrawing from tranquilisers.

Taking in a lodger is another step, but in my current fragile state, I think that would be stressful, it would have to be someone who I trust and who I could get on with.

I did have a person stay with me for a few days, and someone came to the door at a late hour asking for heroin, so I said to my guest, he is welcome but the heroin is definitely not, so he left. Am a bit cagey about getting anyone else in after that.
I don't know of any rules to prevent this.