Driving lessons...

victory

My DS has had 19 lessons so far since last September, he loved it at first, thought they were fun and used to get all excited about each one now he has dropped them and when questioned he says dismissive things like 'Oh I can't be bothered' or 'I will have one another time' and never does.

It has been weeks now and I think it is a shame and a waste.

I know that I cannot make him,that it is his choice,that maybe it has nothing to do with me at all, I get that he is old enough and I know he can afford them because he is in a lucky position to have 2/3 jobs a week that brings him in the money so he has paid almost all his summer boys hol off and has money to spare for clothes, nights out etc so the money is not the issue.

OH thinks he has lost interest because it is getting harder, where he has to concentrate more and he has lost the fun part of learning.

I did wonder about his instructor but he said no he was very happy with him and did not want to change, he just did not want anymore lessons.

Has anyone else taken a load of lessons and then given up? Do you loose what you have learnt? Will he be able to go back to it later?

I think it is a really useful thing (jobs, social, for uni) to have and I wonder how to get him back into it?

balletshoes

if you've already pointed out the positives in having a driving licence to him, then theres nothing else you can do, so you need to let it go.

guess he'll be on the bus/his bike a lot now then eh ?

londonsurrey

The driving lessons are a privilege, which he currently does not want to make use of. He can take them up again when he feels the need for them, and will actually work at them then.

lipsthefish

I had lessons when I was 18 and really enjoyed them, hubby lost job and I had to give up. Never tried again until around 3 years ago so I was 32 ish. I hated them from the start, the instructor was brilliant, very very patient, he couldn't fault my driving and knowledge at all but it was confidence I lacked, we tried all sorts and I tried and tried for 2 years but I hated every lesson, used to make myself ill worrying about the next one. In the end I just gave up, I really have no interest in driving, I hate it and it's not something I want to do. I know it opens up so many doors but it just isn't for some people.

Spendless

My mum had driving lessons before I was born, failed 2 tests and packed them in. When I was a teenager and she 'needed' them for a job she started them up again, again she failed twice but kept trying and passed on 3rd attempt, so yes some people do try and succeed later on in life.

Peater

'Can't be bothered' translated from teen to human means 'It's actually harder than i thought and i don't like feeling like i'm not amazing at something.....'

Been there, done that.

Thing is, with driving for novices, its all about momentum. These lessons that he has had will almost certainly be completely wasted (bar the basics) as if he suddenly realises that not having a licence/car severely limits him socially/career wise he will have to do them all over again, starting from scratch. And lessons are extortionate!

System

I took lessons about 10 years ago. Loved it, driving instructor couldnt fault my driving. I had been working part time and was able to fund my lessons myself but due to kids playing up when i was at work i gave up the job. I think hubby had to pay for 4 lessons and a driving test. I took the test really a bit too early but felt pressured by the hubby who kept moaning that i 'should have really passed by now'.

Hated the driving test. My examiner stunk to high heaven (my instructor told me to go back and complain and ask for a retest cause she could smell him after he'd got out the car). I failed on one minor point which was dissappointing but when i got home i'd got other half moaning that i'd spent all that money and still not passed. My elderly Mother was dissappointed as she had got me earmarked to transport her everywhere (yeah right) and the kids told me they were upset that i couldnt pick them up from school.

I quit driving.

19lottie82

I started @ 21, had a load of lessons, failed twice (quite badly). Started again about a year or 2 later, but gave up again due to financial reasons. Started again @ 26, took lessons again for about a year, failed again (but only 1 major), then put in for it again and passed J

When I started again the last time, I had totally forgotten everything that I had learned previously, so it had been a total waste of money. I dread to think how many lessons I had! (prob around 100 wouldn’t be an outlandish guess!)

So glad I picked it up again and persevered tho.

You’re right, if he does give up now it is a waste, but s others have said, there is no point pushing your son if he doesn’t want to take the lessons. If he feels the urge to learn again, he will start them again.

gonzo127

Peater wrote: »

'Can't be bothered' translated from teen to human means 'It's actually harder than i thought and i don't like feeling like i'm not amazing at something.....'

Been there, done that

this is it for me as well,

hes suddenly found out normal driving is nothing like the racing on the playstation/xbox and that is harder than he thought it would be, and he isnt as amazing as his imagination had led him to believe he would be

also how many of a friends who can drive have turned around to him and said 19 lessons and you still havent passed! i passed my test after x amount of lessons, you must be a bad driver etc etc

VikkiiKawaii

I don't know what's causing it but my cousin did exactly the same thing. He got his motorbike licence instead and for a while got around on his motorbike but then eventually went back to using public transport/family members.

victory

Peater is right that is what OH has translated his can't be bothered as also, well more like gonzo says it is harder than he thought, harder than on the playstation and he is amazed he is not amazing at it:rotfl::rotfl:

I think it is a waste, a waste and a shame that he cannot see it through as I have said before and sure probably some of his friends have ribbed him about having 19 lessons and not passed yet, sure they would have, would make you think it would stir him on to keep at it, it is a shame because he is not by character a quitter, he never has the tendency to just go 'oh whatever' and give up, he is quite dedicated to things when he sets his mind to them, I guess this driving lark is not one of them, it would really take the heat of his dad keep having to give him lifts (some of the dads take it in turns in a rota)

I was just hoping someone had a great idea to get him back into it:D:D