Getting the money back?

Cornish_piskie

So, is the problem that he sees that £8000 as paying towards things you had/needed as a couple? Did you not have a an agreement about how much each of you paid into the 'pot'? My query is simply because, say, if you had paid £8000 out over 4 years (I'm making a bit of assusmption of 2007 -2011) that works out at just over £38 a week. If you had been paying towards a mortgage then latterly the rent, council tax, electricity/gas, TV license, buildings/contents insurance, broadband costs etc etc then surely it would have been a heck of a lot more than £38 per week?

Sorry if I have completely the wrong end of the stick - I'm just trying to look at it from another angle:o

99Times

I believe I had my name on something, but when his debts etc were starting to become a problem, I have a feeling he took my name off it to stop them from trying to chase me - sadly there's been that many things that have gone on I really don't remember

Cornish: He doesn't but I think that is the exact angle his parents are seeing it, and are breathing that to him. He always agreed that he would definitley pay it back as he knew he shouldn't have taken it

I am planning to go through all of my emails incase there's an old "sorry, i will pay it back" email hidden somewhere. I'm guessing if there was, i'd still be at a pretty much dead end?

Sambucus_Nigra

You can't just add your name to a mortgage and have it taken off when you want - that's not how it works.

ruby-roo_2

Sambucus Nigra has that completely right about the mortgage. Your lender would have to have agreed to your name being removed and be confidant that the remaining party could meet the repayments on their own. Its not as simple as signing a form and that being the end of it.

RAS

I would strongly advise that you get all three of your credit records so that you can see if there were any joint debts.

Cornish_piskie

99Times wrote: »

I believe I had my name on something, but when his debts etc were starting to become a problem, I have a feeling he took my name off it to stop them from trying to chase me - sadly there's been that many things that have gone on I really don't remember

Cornish: He doesn't but I think that is the exact angle his parents are seeing it, and are breathing that to him. He always agreed that he would definitley pay it back as he knew he shouldn't have taken it

I am planning to go through all of my emails incase there's an old "sorry, i will pay it back" email hidden somewhere. I'm guessing if there was, i'd still be at a pretty much dead end?

Can you have a little tot up of what you did pay into the living costs? If you didn't pay an awful lot in then are you really justified in asking for this to be repaid? It does sound to me that he paid for nigh on everything and that's why his money ran out and then you fell that he 'used' your money. Had you been paying a proper share of household expenses then he would have had the money himself to put petrol in his car etc surely?

99Times

If that's so, then I would have been told my name was on it and it infact wasn't.

Cornish: His money ran out because he wasn't careful. He bought over 40 (yes, 40) mini toy plane kits which cost him a good £300, a new PC he didn't need, takeaways (until he couldn't afford them any longer) endless CD's & DVD's for himself, went to the local shop almost every morning before work to buy chocolate and several ready made sandwiches for himself for work, and 5 packs of redbull to see him through a week. It certainly wasn't from paying the bills that he lost his money. I spent a very long time writing out 'plans' and pointing out what he shouldn't be buying in order to more than afford the bills.
Due to his insane spending, he would agree to repay missed payments on everything at once, which only further added to having very little to live with.
He luckily got another job not long after being made redundant, and as he was on less money, I said I'd pay for food and a few other things ONLY if he would stop his stupid & reckless spending on things that were beyond luxuries.

Cornish_piskie

99Times wrote: »

If that's so, then I would have been told my name was on it and it infact wasn't.

Cornish: His money ran out because he wasn't careful. He bought over 40 (yes, 40) mini toy plane kits which cost him a good £300, a new PC he didn't need, takeaways (until he couldn't afford them any longer) endless CD's & DVD's for himself, went to the local shop almost every morning before work to buy chocolate and several ready made sandwiches for himself for work, and 5 packs of redbull to see him through a week. It certainly wasn't from paying the bills that he lost his money. I spent a very long time writing out 'plans' and pointing out what he shouldn't be buying in order to more than afford the bills.
Due to his insane spending, he would agree to repay missed payments on everything at once, which only further added to having very little to live with.
He luckily got another job not long after being made redundant, and as he was on less money, I said I'd pay for food and a few other things ONLY if he would stop his stupid & reckless spending on things that were beyond luxuries.

You keep telling us how badly he spent 'his' money but you haven't told us what you were contributing - as far as I can see it's not a lot! Why was he expected to pay for almost everything? I would imagine if you had to pay half the rent/utilities etc it would be a darn sight more than £8k over the course of the relationship :cool:

leanneq

Am I missing something or was your only expenditure the food bill? If so, you got off lightly! Did you pay towards any bills at all? Gas/Electric/Water/Council tax etc?

99Times

He wasn't expected to pay anything. I offered from the start to pay my fair share of things long before I moved in. He declined and said that he didn't want to take my money, and wasn't going to charge me 'rent' as his mother was trying to force him to as we were in a relationship. At that point in time I was saving as much of my money to go to college. Had he changed his mind and asked for me to contribute, then I would have, gladly.

I paid for electric/water/council tax and at times the mortgage when he had wasted his money and was the only option other than racking up bills which he only went to my parents to beg for help to sort out, which I have never included in what he owes me. The 8k is additional.