CSA Please can anyone advise

DeeDee74

personally i couldn't care less if they both work full time or part time or one of them works,
The pwc work's, so part time work she still work's gets her wages topped up with benefit so does everyone on a income of what under 26000, so cause she works part time receives benefit,get's help with her rent she's ment to support her daughter on her own? sorry i forgot she's privliged enough 2 have her own room none of which the nrp pay's for.

while the nrp and new partner work's didn't say what benefits they receive 2 boys have to share a room criminal !!
the nrp pay's a percentage of the wage not all of it there not that skint if there gona think about moving and paying an extra 200 a month just to get out of paying csa.... to pay nothing for 4years must have ment they where on benefit hence everything was payed for them..
just noticed that op said she didnt declare her wages just her partners, nrp wages as what £400 a week plus partner wages on top come on 200 odd quid ent nowt.

clearingout

kevin137 wrote: »

The NRP's ex appears to work the bare minimum to stop being on JSA and yet still gets everything paid, it sounds like a lot of single mothers, but not all, not by a long way.

The OP wants to better life for her own family, and lets be honest, has NO obligation the the EX of the NRP, so why should she not ask "is this possible" that is what this forum is about after all...

the thing is, you have no idea of the OP's partner's ex's circumstances. I know that working mother's with partners have to do everything the same as I do, as a working lone parent - cleaning, shopping, ironing, general housework etc. etc. etc. But life as a lone parent is very, very different to when there is another adult in the house. There are many barriers to work which exist as a lone parent that are easier to overcome if you have a partner - childcare, proximity of family who are willing and able to help out, the number of children you have and the amount you're capable of earning (the more children you have, the harder it is to make up the childcare the lower the wage you are on). Of course, there are many lone parents who succeed at full time work and have children who are excelling in school. But because someone doesn't work full-time, please don't assume it's by choice. For some of us, it's a matter of working the only hours we can get, or the only hours we can get when the local nursery is open, or the only hours we can get when we have a family member able to pick the children up from childcare, for others it is about the fact that we're no better off by working more hours - that's the fault of the tax credit/benefit system, not ours! For others it'a a choice - that working less hours means the parent is able to attend school concerts etc. and this is particularly important for lone parents (or rather, their children), where the other parent is entirely absent.

The simple fact of the matter is, who the hell are you (generic 'you') to judge? A working lone parent who is working is setting a good example to their children. End of. Leave it at that.

Getting annoyed she has it handed to her on a plate doesn't help anyone. And aside from that, it isn't that simple. Many PWC have to top up their Housing Benefit to get the home they want for their children. Council Tax Benefit all but disappears on even the lowest of wages. Ditto free prescriptions and free school meals. It is, at best, a misnomer that the single mum gets life handed to her on a plate. She doesn't. And even if she does, why dwell on it? The system allows it. Work to change the system if you don't believe in it - join a political party and start actively campaigning against it. We live in a democracy - one that people from all over the world are prepared to crush themselves in the back of lorries for days on end in the hope that they get to pass by our boarders un-noticed. If enough people complain and make genuine, well-reasoned arguments against the system as it stands, change would take place.

The NRP has a moral, let alone legal, obligation to provide financial support to all of their children, and shouldn't be looking for ways around that. They should be proud of making that contribution and hopefully making their child's life that little bit better as a result.

vicster994

I must remind everyone that working 2 days a week is CHOICE. I work 4 days because I have have NO CHOICE. Well actually if gave up work we would not have to pay CSA. But obviously I am bringing 2 sons who I am trying to set an example to. But fact is we could not afford for me not to work.

Smoking by ex wife is a CHOICE. Nearly £7.00 a packet how can someone smoke if benefits mean's a life of existence.

My step daughter is not a poor child she is 13 and is on the pill having sexual relationships with boys over 16 wearing Superdry jackets.

My Husband before we met was practically paying £400 a month nearly a 1/3 of his salary and yes her full benefits were not affected. So the last 4 years without paying is fine by me.

What I have learnt from from being married to a guy with a child from a previous relationship is their are alot of nasty twisted ex wifes/girlfriends who are raking it in.

If my hubby's ex wife to put his daughter on the pill at 13 he has no say. He has no say on what his money is spent on.

I as a woman of two boys would never think I could think that of women but having seen first hand how pretty much everything is stacked against fathers who do care.

I work in social housing and know plenty of mothers who try to better themselves. And actually I was the ex wife's housing officer/rent officer when she was claiming full hb plus the rest whilst getting nearly 400 a month from my hubby and guess what she was in ARREARS. still manged her fags though

vicster994

Ohhhhhh and by the way. I work 4 days a week and my husband is working out of the country pretty much of all of time. Guess when I do my housework,ironing cleaning cooking shopping.....Pretty much every nite once the kids are in bed....So in affect I am living the life of a lone parent. But I have to do all the rest at nite when my ex hubby wife has a lovely day on the sofa.

So please dont tell me how difficult it is because I know. I will be ironing until 10 tonite and back at work tomorrow morning at 8. Mother having our 18 month year old and the other in nursery.

tut tut

romanempire

vicster994 wrote: »

Now lets see. Mother works 16 hrs a week and recieves working tax credit/income support/ housing benefit. All of which are unaffected by csa payments.

So you mention housing costs what exactly are you referring to. Up keep of the property ummmm no she is social housing tenant. Wife is able to work 5 days a week as child leaves the house at 7 in the morning and returns at 5. But works just over 2. HER CHOICE

How lucky to be able to spend the rest of the week smoking and watching day time tv and why because SHE CAN

I work 30 hours a week leaving my mother to bring up my 19 month old as we cannot afford extreme nursery costs.

How niave to think that every mother in recepit of CSA uses the money responsibly, I don,t think so.

So if the burden of tax payers is relieved by using making the payments GREAT. But thats not the case, but if I can rent a bigger house which would enable my sons to have their own bedrooms and the CSA payments stop bring it on.....

Perhaps the mother would like to earn money and work a full week as opposed to the tax payer picking her smoking tab

Daughter has her own room, my sons share. Thats because we have to privately rent WHY because we both work.

GETTING THE PICTURE

So lets see where the money goes shall we.

I'm with you :beer: Don't take any notice of these whinging wimmin.

I'm not sure how you can manipulate your husbands assessment as CSA1 is very complex. Kellogs is the expert.

A couple of points to consider:-

Would husbands daughter be interested in coming to live with you? Are you and your husband on good terms with her? From the sounds of it your household might be a better environment for her. The downside is more costs but you'd get CB, etc and eliminate CSA worries.

If the ex closes her claim for 13? weeks then the new claim will be on CSA2. That will be a straight 15% of net income with a small discount for number of nights the child stays with you. Your costs are not part of the calculation. As that option is totally in the ex's control its worth working that out so it doesn't catch you by surprise.

R.

clearingout

vicster994 wrote: »

I must remind everyone that working 2 days a week is CHOICE. I work 4 days because I have have NO CHOICE. Well actually if gave up work we would not have to pay CSA. But obviously I am bringing 2 sons who I am trying to set an example to. But fact is we could not afford for me not to work.

Smoking by ex wife is a CHOICE. Nearly £7.00 a packet how can someone smoke if benefits mean's a life of existence.

My step daughter is not a poor child she is 13 and is on the pill having sexual relationships with boys over 16 wearing Superdry jackets.

My Husband before we met was practically paying £400 a month nearly a 1/3 of his salary and yes her full benefits were not affected. So the last 4 years without paying is fine by me.

What I have learnt from from being married to a guy with a child from a previous relationship is their are alot of nasty twisted ex wifes/girlfriends who are raking it in.

If my hubby's ex wife to put his daughter on the pill at 13 he has no say. He has no say on what his money is spent on.

I as a woman of two boys would never think I could think that of women but having seen first hand how pretty much everything is stacked against fathers who do care.

I work in social housing and know plenty of mothers who try to better themselves. And actually I was the ex wife's housing officer/rent officer when she was claiming full hb plus the rest whilst getting nearly 400 a month from my hubby and guess what she was in ARREARS. still manged her fags though

sorry vicster, but you just sound incredibly bitter that your partner has a child by a previous relationship and he is expected to pay maintenance for her. It is all about his ex, and nothing at all about the children. Yes, she may well make a choice to work 2 days a week. But that's her choice, not yours. You also have a choice. You can decide not to work and live off benefits. You state you won't do that because you're trying to set a good example to your children. I would suggest that if mum has a balance of work/non-work, she has achieved a balance that works for her. That has nothing at all to do with you. Her life, her choices.

I would suggest that a child of 13 who is on the Pill either has a mum who is incredibly sensible OR the child is living a life of considerable deprivation (probably a mix of the two). Better the child uses contraception than gets pregnant. Although somehow, I suspect, it would suit you to be able to say 'see, there, the mother is dreadful, her daughter got pregnant at 13'. The school I work at has any number of teenagers hanging out in 'superdry' jackets. I think they call it 'fashion'. I can assure you some of them wearing such jackets are unpleasant to be around. More still are a complete pleasure to be around. What's your point?

Finally, what on earth has the ex's life, and how she lives it, got to do with you?

vicster994

Sensible working 2 days a week smoking child on the pill. Not really, how on earth is that teaching a child about the prevention of stds. I am shocked that you who works at a school thinks the pill is better than other prevention's.

vicster994

Dont the thought of paying them more does not bare thinking about...why is it in her control

romanempire wrote: »

I'm with you :beer: Don't take any notice of these whinging wimmin.

I'm not sure how you can manipulate your husbands assessment as CSA1 is very complex. Kellogs is the expert.

A couple of points to consider:-

Would husbands daughter be interested in coming to live with you? Are you and your husband on good terms with her? From the sounds of it your household might be a better environment for her. The downside is more costs but you'd get CB, etc and eliminate CSA worries.

If the ex closes her claim for 13? weeks then the new claim will be on CSA2. That will be a straight 15% of net income with a small discount for number of nights the child stays with you. Your costs are not part of the calculation. As that option is totally in the ex's control its worth working that out so it doesn't catch you by surprise.

R.

DeeDee74

so basic u dont wana pay cause u have no control on what the money is spent on? no nrp has the say, u yourself said she's not a poor child obviously the mother spends money on her, she's clothed feed..
what the pwc spends her money on isen't anything to do with you as long as that child is looked after,fed clothed by at least one parent thats all that matter's.

clearingout

vicster994 wrote: »

Ohhhhhh and by the way. I work 4 days a week and my husband is working out of the country pretty much of all of time. Guess when I do my housework,ironing cleaning cooking shopping.....Pretty much every nite once the kids are in bed....So in affect I am living the life of a lone parent. But I have to do all the rest at nite when my ex hubby wife has a lovely day on the sofa.

So please dont tell me how difficult it is because I know. I will be ironing until 10 tonite and back at work tomorrow morning at 8. Mother having our 18 month year old and the other in nursery.

tut tut

vicster, you are not a lone parent and you don't live the life of a lone parent. Only someone who had never been a lone parent would suggest a husband who works away makes things even. It doesn't.

I work 8am - gone 4pm 5 days a week and I do it for not very much money. I then come home, do my housework, faff about on the internet (only life I have), cook a meal for my children, do homework, put them to bed, and then later I will prepare lessons for tomorrow and try and put an essay together for a deadline next week. I don't generally feel the need to tell the whole world what a wonderful mum I am and how much better I am than those lone parents who don't work the same hours as I do because I'm not better than them. I made my choices. I could have chosen part-time. I could have chosen less demanding work. I made choices which suit me and ultimately, which I believe will be of benefit to my children. I acknowledge that other lone parents have a right to make other choices for themselves and their children. In a couple of years time, all things being equal, I may well choose to go part-time to be able to enjoy my children while they are young. I might end up back on benefits again by July this year because there is a distinct shortage of jobs coming up in the area I work in and my job where I am will finish at the end of the year. I might hang out for the job I'm training for. I might choose to take a lower paid job to fill in the gaps. But whatever I do, that's MY choice and if the system is such that it supports me doing that, and I can afford to do that, is has nothing at all to do with you. More importantly, my choices make no difference whatsoever to my ex's moral and legal obligations to contribute financially to the upkeep of our children.

If you don't like it, work on making the changes rather than moaning about it.