CSA Please can anyone advise

skibadee

vicster994 wrote: »

Ok, Half term I had to get the Police to do a welfare check on daughter as no landline number given. daughter sending depressed texts saying about she has been having sex and mum putting on her on the pill. Ex wife takes mobile away from daughter. Not allowed out of the house all week. Speak to Social services not prepared to do anything until the school raise concerns.

Answered your question.

Find out tonite from grandmother that she goes to school without any food as mother says " I wont do a packed lunch as she never knows what she wants". So no dinner money given and she goes to school with no food. I would prefer our money to pay directly to the school for her dinners.. Not for this cash to be directly in the hands of this woman.

Still as someone has quoated on here "she is doing her best"....

Based on that alone, do you not consider it the daughters best interests that maybe it would be better if she lived with you?.....Yes I know you will say you do not have the room, but I'm sure you could get a sofa bed from somewhere for her to sleep on, even if its in the lounge for now.....money aside, I feel this girl needs help!

vicster994

skibadee wrote: »

Based on that alone, do you not consider it the daughters best interests that maybe it would be better if she lived with you?.....Yes I know you will say you do not have the room, but I'm sure you could get a sofa bed from somewhere for her to sleep on, even if its in the lounge for now.....money aside, I feel this girl needs help!

Totally agree...but pratically how do you it. They live 50 miles and she is happy at her school. I would not mind us sleeping in the lounge and she has the bed. To be honest if she came I would move and pay extra. But we cannot even get to speak to her let alone anything else.

Imagine what the mother would do to her mind if she even dared considered leaving. For one ex wife would lose everything benefit wise. And knowing daughter she does all she can to keep mum happy. So I am willing to here any suggestions.

vicster994

ps..lasy year hubby sent her birthday card to his mothers house and daughter toke it home. ex wife went on so much to daughter, she put it in the bin to keep her mother happy.

So I dont think one minute she just would up and leave. And I dont know if we can force the issue

niggyp

Op youve made a mistake posting on here asking for help, all you get in reply are negative comments off keyboard warriors with nothing else better to do in their sad empty lives

you wont be paying csa forever so just bite the bullet carry on paying then when its all over carry on with yr lives and be happy!

skibadee

Thats a shame OP, as the daughter would undoubtly be in a more stable enviroment with you.
But I know your right in what your saying in regards to the mothers thoughts on that, its a shame the daughter feels she has to bow down to her mum....but this does sometimes happen unfortunately.
All you can do is try and look out for her as best you can.

owdslackdraws

clearingout wrote: »

I think you'll find you called it a 'handout' there....?

Oh for heavens sake!, I was talking about people who can work but won't and just want to sit at home all day claiming benefits, i.e hand outs from the goverment and us taxpayers

I did not realise you were commenting on the post where ALLEDGEDLY I said NRP's shouldnt pay

owdslackdraws

vicster994, I have sent you a PM

Soapn

If the new squeeze was on the internet calling my ability as a mother and telling all and sundry personal aspects of my child's life, then I have to say I'd be seriously miffed!

OP

what does your husband, who is half responsible for the child feel about what you are doing?

If the shoe was on the other foot and you and OH split, would you be amused if his new squeeze starts mouthing off about how much he should/shouldn't pay towards YOUR kids when she knew he had kids?

Either do something to help the child or quit talking about her.

cosmic-dust

Steady on the OP is hardly "the new squeeze" she is his wife. Not a FWB or the latest model.

The new squeeze is someone who has only be with the bloke for a few weeks and phones a PWC stating I'm the new step mommy. Aye whatever love hangs up phone.

Soapn wrote: »

If the new squeeze was on the internet calling my ability as a mother and telling all and sundry personal aspects of my child's life, then I have to say I'd be seriously miffed!

OP

what does your husband, who is half responsible for the child feel about what you are doing?

If the shoe was on the other foot and you and OH split, would you be amused if his new squeeze starts mouthing off about how much he should/shouldn't pay towards YOUR kids when she knew he had kids?

Either do something to help the child or quit talking about her.

angelbob

vicster994 wrote: »

Totally agree...but pratically how do you it. They live 50 miles and she is happy at her school. I would not mind us sleeping in the lounge and she has the bed. To be honest if she came I would move and pay extra. But we cannot even get to speak to her let alone anything else.

Imagine what the mother would do to her mind if she even dared considered leaving. For one ex wife would lose everything benefit wise. And knowing daughter she does all she can to keep mum happy. So I am willing to here any suggestions.

She's happy at school????????????? Em thought she was being bullied????????????? I don't believe a word you say.
You haven't said why YOUR HUSBAND didn't pay child support for four years?? working abroad and not paying tax, i guess scamming this country and well as his ex wife :think: