Oh carp, upset my neighbour

olibrofiz

My neighbour's been away. Her DD has been playing loud, and I mean LOUD :mad:, music on and off, and she's had her mates round making quite a bit of noise. I have a teen & would like to be told if she's being too noisy so I can quieten things down, and my neighbour's always said the same.

I texted her to say 'haven't seen you in a while, are you away?' Got a reply back saying 'i'm in XXXXX, back tomorrow' to which I replied 'ah, that's why there's shreeking & loud music'.

She came round today and said she was !!!!ed off with me sending a text don't text her again, her dd had denied it and anyway my dogs bark. Was pretty gobsmacked really.

Bang goes the good neighbour relations.

meritaten

oh dear - let her calm down hun. by the time a few other neighbours have told her about the loud music etc, she will realise you werent trying to upset her. just remain pleasant as usual and I am sure she will come round - and if she doesnt.............her loss!

loztredders

she's probably more peed off at the teen she left at home to be honest and unfortunatly directed this anger at you.
Clearly she though that she could trust her DD to be quiet and considerate while she was away and has now realised that her daughter probably hasn't adhered to her rules while she has been away.

ashlea1104

shes probably embarrassed knowing she left what she thought was a responsible daughter alone and then she does this! give her time im sure she will come around when she realises!

Peater

That text would have sounded rather catty.

If you had a problem, you should have knocked on the door and reminded the girl that there are other people living in your street...

Then, by all means raise it with the mother when she get's back.

Person_one

I think you could have worded it a lot better, but I agree with the others, it'll be the daughter she's really angry at and she's just shooting the messenger.

Hanging_by_a_thread

I agree with the others that the mum is most likely annoyed with the daughter but projecting her feelings at you. Hopefully in a few days when she has had time to think it through she might view things differently. For her sake as well as for good neighbourly relations.

Lets hope the daughter doesn't twig that her mum has had a go at you for complaining about the noise she makes, rather than appreciating you advising her. Next time she goes away the daughter might think she can get away with a house party and trash the place

belfastgirl23

I would give it a day or two to settle and then apologise and say that you wish you'd handled things differently. And hope she's changed her tune by then. I would also say that you totally understand why she might be miffed but you'd hope she would know you well enough by now to know that you wouldn't make something like that up. And that if your teen ever bothers her you would want to know. If she's changed her tune I'd leave it at that. If not I'd also add that next time I wouldn't bother her with it and would just go straight to the police if she preferred and they could decide who was telling the truth. I would also ask again about the dogs and see if there are any specifics that you could address, just so she knows you've heard her.

I do think that it's very tricky to do these kinds of things by text though so an honest apology wouldn't go amiss from this POV.

thegirlintheattic

Peater wrote: »

That text would have sounded rather catty.

If you had a problem, you should have knocked on the door and reminded the girl that there are other people living in your street...

Then, by all means raise it with the mother when she get's back.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this.

I would give it a few days and apologise next time you see her.

Errata

Apologise to your neighbour, saying you didn't mean to sound 'off' and you're sorry it came across to her that way. Nobody choked to death from swallowing their pride and offering an apology.

Saint_Chris

I think that your neighbours problem has come about from when you replied to her text.
She did tell you that she was away, i personally would have left it at that, and then had a word with her when she got home.

But as you replied, then if you'd replied i would have been reall pooed off being away and you telling me there was problems at home.

sorry if it sounds harsh but that's how i read into it.

leave it a few days and go and speak to her.