Sister is pregnant at 16

Gillyx

Person_one wrote: »

Everybody's different of course, but you don't want to find yourself doing half the night feeds, changing half the nappies, letting your little sister lie in all the time, entertaining the baby while she's on facebook (slight stereotype there, sorry) and effectively parenting the baby as well as your own children and your sister!

I'm not saying abandon her, but helping her learn to cope on her own is more valuable than 'rescuing' her if that makes sense?

Would agree with this, I let myself be controlled by my MIL when our baby was first born, she offered to let us stay for a few days when I left hospital and with all the drugs and lack of sleep I stupidly agreed. She ended up taking over (not because I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't do anything "right" ) so I done less and less because I had no confidence, as soon as I got back to our place, I thrived so much more, of course I've made mistakes, and been peed on, and had nappies leak, and our flat hasn't looked as messy as this ever, but I am managing on my own, and I felt I had to be left to do it and "get on with it" if you like? If there was someone there all the time for help I don't think I'd be as confident with my son.

thatgirlsam

Some local authorities provide specialised accommodation where young mums live independantly whilst getting support and advice from trained workers

Might not be her cup of tea but something to bear in mind, better to have all the info available before making any decisions

LittleMissBride

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Oh and the Care to Learn scheme provides help with childcare costs should she wish to continue her education

This is extremely helpful! One of her biggest fears was not being able to continue with education, she has wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember and this is what she is working towards x

thatgirlsam

LittleMissBride wrote: »

This is extremely helpful! One of her biggest fears was not being able to continue with education, she has wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember and this is what she is working towards x

you can get the info at moneytolearn.direct.gov.uk

It provides support with childcare costs for teenage parents above the compulsory schooling age who wish to study

I don't know if you can still get EMA but worth checking that out too

Person_one

LittleMissBride wrote: »

This is extremely helpful! One of her biggest fears was not being able to continue with education, she has wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember and this is what she is working towards x

If she does want to be a nurse eventually there's no reason why she can't. Lots of nurses go into it later in life, as a second career or after their children are a bit older. She certainly wouldn't be the only student nurse on her course with a child!

However, now that it is a degree-only profession she really needs to keep her head down and get good grades in her maths, science and English GCSEs so that she doesn't have to do it all again a few years down the line!

AllyS

She will still be able to carry on her education, thus enabling her to earn her own living, she has not committed herself to a life on benefits as a helpful poster pointed out.

If your sister has the drive and ambition then she will carry on, I know 4 young mothers that have still attended/finished university, ok all local one's rather than the beer fest, away from home education that others have

Just support her as much as you can and it will all be ok x

duchy

gizmo111 wrote: »

What a rude, uncaring pointless post

Already reported-won't be up for long (but it's always better not to quote such filth as when their post is removed either yours goes too or their muck is still there to be read)

vickynleon

when i started college i met a girl who was 16 and pregnant, she found out the day before her 16th birthday, her little boy is now 6 and such a loving child, she's gone on to have 3 more boys and she seems to have them all in an excellent routine and she can go out with all 4 of the kids together.

i found out i was pregnant at 18 and had my son just after i turned 19, my life hasnt been put on hold, i have bought a house and become a supervisor within a few years so don't think that it will hold her back, infact it made me and my partner fight for it more and i'm now expecting my second child also.

good luck and hope she goes on to have a happy healthy baby.

vickynleon

property.advert wrote: »

However you do it, get her down to the clinic to get rid of this problem. Plenty of time much later in her life to have kids and don't let the do gooders and god squad tell you different.

Of course, if her desire in life was to get her own squat and live a life on benefits then she has officially retired before she has begun, though she may have to spit another few out along the way to ward off any chance of actual work.

And just what is the percentage of teenage fathers sticking by their offspring and doing the right thing ? I'll wager less than a couple of percent.

what a horrible comment. a baby is not a problem wether it was planned or not. such a sick thing to say. i was 19 when i had my first son and i don;t recieve any benefits so don't just put people into categories before you know them. both me and my partner work for every penny we recieve and we always have.

she may go on to have a very successful career because she may want to do good for her child.

xxxxhelpxxxx

thatgirlsam wrote: »

you can get the info at moneytolearn.direct.gov.uk

It provides support with childcare costs for teenage parents above the compulsory schooling age who wish to study

I don't know if you can still get EMA but worth checking that out too

Care to Learn is available to all young mothers over the age of 13. It pays £160 p/w (outside London) to a childcare provider.

EMA isn't available anymore - it was phased out and taken over by college/school bursaries.

She will be eligible for Income Support, Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits. She may also qualify for Healthy Start vouchers.

My eldest daughter had her baby 9 days before she turned 16 and just before she sat her GCSE's. She completed her GCSE's and a CACHE Diploma at college. She is now a pre-school assistant with a beautiful nearly 4 year old. Her boy went to the nursery at college and now goes to a childminder. She received Care to Learn. She was seen by the teenage midwife and had a specialist health visitor who saw her quite regularly. She also had a lady from Sure Start who was trained by "Parents As First Teachers (PAFT)" who was there to help her bond with the baby and teach her how to play with him!!

The youngest daughter had her baby at 14. We didn't know until she was 25 weeks!! She is just about to take her GCSE's, is an A grade student and plans to do A'levels and then go on to uni to do midwifery or physiotherapy. Her little boy goes to the same childminder as the other grandson. She has received Care to Learn since she was in Year 10. She was seen by the same midwife and health visitor but is seen far less frequently. She wasn't seen by the PAFT lady. She was "investigated" by Social Services but they closed the file as soon as it was opened.

Neither of them are still in a relationship with the father of their children but both fathers are fully involved with their children. One of them lives 160 miles away but has him every holiday and comes down when he can in between. The other lives round the corner and pops in nearly every day and has him every other weekend. The first father pays maintenance but the second one is still in further education so can't yet.

Good luck to your sister. It's hard work for a teenage mum no matter what anyone says.