Am I childish/confused/paranoid?

cte1111

What did you get her for valentine's day? What did she get you? The problem seems to date from then, so maybe a clue here?

KiKi

She's either a) not realising her behaviour and you just need to ask her to have the conversation (no point asking us!).

Or b) she's one of those (very, very many) woman who do the whole 'game playing' thing, Ie, deliberately not responding to you to send you a sign that she's annoyed / upset / angry - instead of doing the adult thing and telling you there's a problem.

If she's the latter, run a mile. Why anyone would want a relationship which with someone who is such hard work is beyond me!

But don't try and second guess / work it out / hope for the best. You don't know what the problem is, so ask her. If you can't, you're on the train to nowhere anyway. (And if her response is "well if you don't know I'm not telling you" - then yes, she is a game-player and you're better off rid.)

KiKi

ShAnE

cte1111 wrote: »

What did you get her for valentine's day? What did she get you? The problem seems to date from then, so maybe a clue here?

Because we haven't been together long we kept it small, I just got her a card, flowers, and chocolates, she got me a card and a dvd. Then I went over to her and cooked for her...I'm sure my cooking wasn't that bad!!!

determined_new_ms

not sure re this one, but when I started seeing my oh I was very insecure about having a relationship (got very hurt in my previous relationship and was scared of the emotions that were being brought up by falling in love again) my best friend told me to just deal with those feelings but I decided to tell him. I'm glad I did as he reassured me that he felt the same and that whenever I was freaking out it was ok to talk to him. I guess now what I think is if he wasn't able to reassure me he wouldn't have been the person for me. Wait till she is back and talk to her, be honest and hope she is able to be honest back & then make your mind up. It'll work out for the best either way x

rachbc

meritaten wrote: »

I have been trying to think how to put this nicely - but I cant so I shall be blunt as usual.
You ACT older - she ACTS younger - but truth is you are separated by over twelve years at least?
and you both ACT differently to your age - I would suggest you both grow up. there is nothing wrong with a relationship with such an age difference - IF you are both mature enough to deal with peoples reactions.

But there is no evidence that anyone has reacted to the age difference....

I have to say OP you don't sound like you act older- you sound like an anxious insecure 17 year old. It could be a bad sign, it could be nothing but none of us can tell you.

LisaB85

Ask her! Send a message letting her know you're concerned that she is quiet and if there is anything she wants to talk about.

Or she is now comfy with you and doesn't feel the need to text 24/7.

Or she is playing games.....I'd be annoyed if a guy I was dating was blatant ignoring me in favor of logging on to FB instead.

The other option is to not text her at all and see if she contacts you.

FBaby

Sometimes things start very well but don't continue for various reasons. Maybe it is a case that she decided for whichever reasons that she isn't as keen any longer as she first was. Maybe some traits, attitudes have come out which for us has brought doubts. Maybe it is completely unrelated to you, maybe an ex has come back in the picture. Or maybe, she is distracted by something and you've been put on the second line.

In the end, you can't control it. You could ask her, but that doesn't mean she will tell you what is wrong. It might be that you will hear less from her gradually and you will get the 'message', or maybe she will call you on Sunday evening and tell you that her parents are poorly and all her thoughts were focus on them.

Wait and see is all you can do at this stage.

the_cat

LisaB85 wrote: »

.....I'd be annoyed if a guy I was dating was blatant ignoring me in favor of logging on to FB instead.

Yes I would too. But I would also be annoyed if a guy I was dating was expecting me to be texting morning noon and night whilst I was away and reading all sorts into the fact that I hadn't. Especially after only a couple of months.

Sorry but it comes across as needy and juevenille (to me as an old fuddy duddy in my 40's;))

fluffnutter

If someone's behaviour has noticeably changed, it's not unreasonable for the other person to feel unsettled. There's nothing wrong with her behaviour (going to her sister's, not responding much to texts) but if it's significantly and suddenly different to how she was acting, then I can understand why ShAnE is confused and concerned.

To me, it sounds like she's backed off a little. Now this might not be a permanent thing, it might signify nothing worrying at all, but if I were ShAnE it would probably still bother me a little. The problem is, she backs off, ShAnE tries to find out what's going on, his behaviour will be interpreted as clingy or demanding, and she'll back off even further.

Frankly, she does sound like a bit of a game player. If she wanted to cool things, even temporarily, then it's best to be honest, not start ignoring someone. I'd let her get on with it and see what happens. But it would probably make me question whether this relationship was right for me. I can't abide not knowing where I stand.

Taadaa

Hummmm maybe she thinks things have moved a bit too fast and maybe you are coming on a bit too strong? I hate to point it out but you have got the hump because she hasn't been texting you incessantly, and have looked at her FB and got the even bigger hump because she is making time for other people in her life.... maybe you need to back off a little.