Mum2one - next chapter - baby steps make big strides

mum2one

Its the day of the year that seems to be on one hand the great family day, on the other a day of strain....

DD - she is one hell of an amazing girl, i wish I could give her the thing she wants most a Christmas day without a family argument - failed again...

Was it my fault partly, i been trying so hard, getting everything down, everything organised, go with dad to all appointments, do the shopping, buy and wrap presents, cards, deliever, - tasks that we normally share as a family, just seemed to come onto my shoulders.

Schools broke up friday, this week just not had a day off, yesterday I tried it to be a make a day for DD, we did cinema in morning, then again tea time, which was brillaint, but inbetween time we found presents that hadnt been wrapped and so course they had to be done, - thought last ngt our Xmas eve treat - pizza - I've been paying the price all day, throu my IBS into overdrive - i think i've lost a stone in weight....

I'll be honest dad was tired today and in a lot of pain, he's not sleeping properly, he's on cycle 4 of 8 with chemo, and that along with the jabs for the blood clots, aches, pains, lack of appetiate etc - its taking it toll, he was tired opening presents, I would normally get bottle of whisky, some beers but this yr couldn't as he is not allowed to drink (he can have a small whisky, half a pint on non chemo weeks), so i got things he needed socks, pants, pjs etc - wrapped all seperate.

Would u believe it, I burst into tears and had a melt down over a bottle of wine, - not that there was 15 more bottles on the wine rack, but I wanted this one bottle, it wasnt posh or anything like that, but one I had brought myself for xmas.

Then DD lost dads car keys - she'd only left them overnight in the lock of the boot, lucky its an old car - more luck than judgement, think sentimental over this car than any of the others as I had the car for 12 yrs and gave it to him...

DD went to bed in tears, - but we sorted it all out, and we both said that was becuase was coz of we have all been through the last 6 mths, our world has literally been turned upside down....

mum and dad brought her a babyliss hair curler - she cried - she even told them off due to the cost, but she loves it. she even told me off as she said id spolit her.

I know were on the right side way, dads on chemo, all the cancer was cut out, no secondary at mo, having jabs for blood clots, - it isnt till something happens that you either sink or swim, - thou were on doggy paddle xxxx

AlexLK

I'm very sorry to hear you didn't have such a great Christmas. However, your daughter needs to learn how to accept gifts with grace and stop second guessing how much her family can afford to spend on her.

mum2one

Apologies I should have explained more - the hair thing was £120 compared to the average price of her straightners etc of £20.. She was worried they'd spent that much as when she wanted them she was going to save her bday and Xmas money and we offered to top up anything she was more shocked than anything.

she has a heart of gold, she even offered to pay out of her pocket money for one of the visits for the cinema, but as we had bogof tickets wouldnt let her.

Shes just come in with hot choc and bowl of dry cereal for me before she goes to bed. Late ngt for xmas xxx

AlexLK

I understand your daughter means well though cannot help but find it slightly distasteful she seems to so concerned with money at her age. When I was 11/12 years old, I would never dare to question a gift my parents had bought for me. In fact, the only thoughts that crossed my mind would be whether or not I liked the gift.

Aloofdragon

Aww happy Christmas Mum and family she is a little diamond that one, and I think we build ourselves up all year for this one perfect day exhaust ourselves, skint ourselves, worry ourselves silly we are bound to hit a brick wall that's without what your poor dads been through and the rest of you have had to standby helplessly.
At least tomorrow its just a tidy up and chill out day compared to Christmas day hassles.. Take care x

mum2one

Thank you both, a lot less pressure today let dd have a lie in, roast dinner, Xmas pud, have to say tesco pud was amazing it was nicer than the harrods Xmas pud we had last yr, thou doesn't beat fortnum and mason, not me spending I have a friend who always gets me a posh pud when she goes to London.

This afternoon be a lazy one, got to tax cars and pay some bills online, have some family time, tomorrow nip into town sort house insurance, have a look at boots sales (have gift vouchers - get some stuff for 2015) and a little wonder thou I intend to be very good.

I have to confess I booked a holiday this morning - taking dd back to Tunisia we both love it out there, we have friends out there we've met over previous visits, from reps, shop owners and same hotel know the staff, can not wait. Be a surprise for dd not going to tell her to the week before....

A more positive feeling after a good nights sleep, finish off my bottle of wine xxx

[Deleted User]

mum2one wrote: »

Then DD lost dads car keys - she'd only left them overnight in the lock of the boot, lucky its an old car - more luck than judgement, think sentimental over this car than any of the others as I had the car for 12 yrs and gave it to him...

Not fully understanding this.

Are you saying someone has stolen the car?

mum2one

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

Not fully understanding this.

Are you saying someone has stolen the car?

Thats me babbling along - no the car wasn't stolen, more luck than judgement, the keys were left in the car door.

I'm sentimental over the car, I guess things changed literally overnight and the cars been a lifeline, xx

mum2one

I have to say it was a lot better day today, in terms of less stressful, whether it was coz of less that needed doing and more of what we want.

DD has been doing her hair, it looks lovely, then outside when it was snowing, I've just had a chill out afternoon, caught up with a few bits.

x

mum2one

Things have finally turned a corner, and I'm learning to let things over my head that I use to stress over or go mad and go spending, popped into town needed to pay some bills, usually brill it sales , but no I brought some Xmas cards I needed, and a oneies, that was it, ignored all the sale signs, sounds so daft but I feel proud for doing it.

I have been organised and set spreadsheet ready for 2015 presents xx
I thought back when dd had her annual Xmas card off his lordship, I normally go into melt down, there's usually an implied threat in it, this time was not as bad as normal, but I thought you pollock, you may huff and puff but that's all it is....

There's a lot I want to achieve in 2015, I know I'll still be over seeing my parents bank account and arranging bills, sorting money, the plan is to have a spare diary for their spending it mean that once a month review and sort next month.

great plans have to wait a bit, as got cold and chest infection, so rest for me for a couple of days.