Wedding costs?

Antispam

Well I have two daughters and no way could afford to pay that twice bad enough once. I do feel that wedding costs are simple outrageous, and I dont see how it can't be possible to have a small wedding for a few grand at most, given at least its for one day only. Far better to put the money saved on a home. Oh and I did do this in late 80's and even did without a honeymoon so we could afford to get on property ladder. Its got nothing to do with being tight but careful and prioritising how money is spent. Only help I got was for the car and dress which was made by my wifes grandmother

onlyroz

These days I don't think either set of parents are expected to pay anything, although many want to make a contribution. In my case, hubby's parents gave us £2k, and my parents paid the flights for our honeymoon. We paid for everything else ourselves.

floss2

missile wrote: »

What is the grooms father expected to pay for?

Zippo unless he is of a generous nature and has the funds to do so. In which case he should theoretically have a say in how those funds are spent.

OP, are you the bride, groom, or one of the fathers?

Hermia

fluffnutter wrote: »

The one that really gets me? Asking your guests to give you cash for your honeymoon. The height of rudeness IMO. Well done you, lying on your beach in the Maldives smug in the knowledge that your mates have paid for your holiday.

That doesn't bother me at all. As other poster's have said many couples already have all the crockery and household stuff they need. If you are going to give a present I'd rather it was something the couple wanted. My friend asked for money for a honeymoon as her and her chap hadn't been on holiday for years. She did a list of honeymoon related things (entry cost to an art gallery, a tour, a lunch) and you could basically sponsor one (many were cheap).

chib

Although the relationship between my partner and I is a good one, the same can't be said for her parents - it's something we've agreed we'll work on.

Anyways, I asked my partner to marry me without first consulting her Dad - when he told him he said "Shouldn't you be asking me for permission - tradition?" to which I replied "And on that tradition, are you paying for most of the wedding?"

MrsDrink

fluffnutter wrote: »

To elaborate... traditionally the bride's parents foot most of the cost. The groom (not his parents) has the following responsibilities:

Bride's engagement ring.
Bride's wedding ring.
Ceremony fees.
Organist, choir, bell ringers.
Marriage licence or registrar fee.
Bridal flowers.
Flowers for bridesmaids.
Flowers for the church.
Buttonholes.
Corsages.
Presents for the bridesmaid, usher and best man.
Transport to church for him and his best man.
Transport to reception for him and his new wife.
Bouquet for the mothers during his speech.
The honeymoon.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Erm... of the above I've sorted everything apart from his suit (his mum had that pleasure, and I'm not organising his transport to the registry office - he can have our car).
(Which is fine by me - I'm a teeny weeny bit or an organised freak/anal)

*edit*
P.S. I agree 'what is the groom's father expected to pay for?' - Nothing

Alikay

chib wrote: »

Although the relationship between my partner and I is a good one, the same can't be said for her parents - it's something we've agreed we'll work on.

Anyways, I asked my partner to marry me without first consulting her Dad - when he told him he said "Shouldn't you be asking me for permission - tradition?" to which I replied "And on that tradition, are you paying for most of the wedding?"

Oh. Well that won't have helped your relationship with her parents, but well done on your witty riposte, anyway!:D

In our family it seems to have become the norm that the groom's dad stumps up for the champagne for the toast and/or wine with the meal which is quite nice. I'd want to contribute something like that to the day when our sons get married too.

missile

floss2 wrote: »

Zippo unless he is of a generous nature and has the funds to do so. In which case he should theoretically have a say in how those funds are spent.

OP, are you the bride, groom, or one of the fathers?

I would be groom's father. My question was to see what the wise people on MSE thought was the "norm".
I do have my own opinion and shall contribute what I feel is appropriate, but I would not want to have any say.

missile

chib wrote: »

Although the relationship between my partner and I is a good one, the same can't be said for her parents - it's something we've agreed we'll work on.

Anyways, I asked my partner to marry me without first consulting her Dad - when he told him he said "Shouldn't you be asking me for permission - tradition?" to which I replied "And on that tradition, are you paying for most of the wedding?"

WOW, that was brave :T

doodoot

Missile, has your son and future daughter in law made noises about stumping up cash for their wedding?

I only ask because my DH and myself never requested from our parents.

Although we would happily give cash voluntarily to our own sons when their time comes, I would feel rather put out if there was an expectation for us to do so.

And as for these weddings costing 20K+...:eek:

If we had that amount of cash, it would be going on a deposit for a house! :rotfl: