Real life MMD: My hubby earns more. Should he pay more of joint bills?

onesixfive

Victoria270385 wrote: »

Can i ask, once i am debt free the plan is to have a joint account for the bills and our separate ones for ourselves as OH smokes (spends around £30 a week) and has a child so pays CSA (£35 a week) so i think its only fair that comes out of his wage. However he gets paid weekly and i get paid monthly. Is anyone else in the same situation....how do you work it so that there is enough money in the pot to pay the bills when they are due. Do one of you put in more and the the other "pay you back" when they get their weekly wage?

With one on weekly & one on monthly we work it quite well - but as I've said before we appear to be in the minority with joint finances.
All our finances are paid into the bank - the monthly bills usually end being paid from my wage - monthly; and his weekly wage gives us a "cash float" for the going out pot, holidays & savings etc.
The joint a/c is free to dip into by both of us - but its closely monitored & balanced weekly & any overspend is quickly discussed & reigned in.
The essence is talking.
Look - You have debts - he has a past & bad habits.
Pool your resources & get stuck in to clearing your debt, paying his CSA, without resenting either's past.
Why dont you treat yourself each week - not necessarily to the tune of his Cigs becuase that will increase your debts - but any complaints & you can stand your corner.
Work together ! Its a relationship !

michaelbella

I take home 60% more than my girlfriend does, and we split the bills in the following way:

Food, Council Tax, Electricity & Water get's split down the middle.

Sky (TV, Phone Internet) and Rent is split 2:1

After the deductions, this leaves me with roughly an extra £300 more a month than what she ends up with. We both live relatively comfortably, and I use this extra £300 almost every month to save for a mortgage as currently she does not earn enough to save anything after all of her out goings.

Personally, I would expect to pay more, and even after the countless times my lovely girlfriend has offered to pay more, I wouldn't accept it, unless of course shehad a substancial wage rise.

Looking to the future, when we are happily married (one day I hope - no proposal today!), I would still expect us to both put all bills money from our own account when we get paid, into a joint account as we do today, and what is left over is our money to spend.

I don't think there is 'his money/her money' it's more of a case of what is left over is yours to enjoy. If one month I want to buy myself a new TV or some clothes, I wouldn't expect her to pay half as it's my choice to buy these things, and that is why I think that you should have your own money. And when kids come along, I would simply transfer more money into the bills/joint account that we have an everything can come out of that.

Mrs_Arcanum

mrcol1000 wrote: »

We don't split each bill 50% but we do each pay for certain things. So I pay council tax, mortgage, phone bill, water and house insurance. She pays for all grocery and food, pet insurance and electricity/gas. I pay a bit more but I earn more. This all came about as we use to split grocery food but while I was happy with cheap basic own brands she insisted on well known brands. We also have our own bank accounts but do have a joint account that we both regularly pay into and once it gets to a high amount get something upgraded or improved in the house.

We have a similar set up which stemmed from when we first married 23 years ago. As the housing cost came out of his money before we even saw it this is something he has always paid (now the mortgage). He also pays the council tax for the same reason. DH has always given me housekeeping as I do all the grocery shopping. He pays for petrol I pay car insurance. I also pay all the utilities. So all in all a fairly reasonable split given I only earn a third of his money. A reasonable alternative to % bill splits is choosing which bills are paid by one or the other. DH would never shop around for the best price so it is cheaper for us if I pay bills that can be bargained for.

We are BOTH spendthrifts but make sure essential bills are paid before anything else. If "horror of horrors" we had chosen a joint account when we first married we would not have a roof over our heads now. Yes we are both seriously that bad. I am responsible for MY personal debt just as he is responsible for his.

The idea that Marriage means you MUST have a joint account is ridiculous. You are still individuals and need to be able to spend individually. You are not suddenly conjoined at the hip with no separation when you take on a committed relationship.

Sand666

When i bought a house with my boyfriend who earned more, we decided that as he earned 60% of our joint income, he would pay 60% of the bills. We both agreed this was fair and square. We each had our own individual bank accounts, with one joint one for bills and food shopping. We paid a wee bit extra into this, and what was left over each year was spent towards a holiday.
This worked perfectly for us.

Traveller1981

Wigwambam wrote: »

NO NO If you need more disposable income get another job. You should be grateful you have a husband who already shares more of his income with you than you do him. I wonder if the boot were on the other foot would your additional disposable income be shared with him or is it likely you would just need more for yourself.

I earn more than my partner and I pay more into the joint to allow her to have more money for herself. I don't see the problem with it. I would never expect her to get another job. If anything, we should reassess our spending habits if that were the case.

Any

Also I pay less but I still feel equal because if I did do everything I could to bring home the same money as OH we would have to pay cleaner, cook, ironing lady and laundarette and internet shopping delivery so I do contribute by other means as well...
It's not all 50/50 in our household by other means too, my OH wouldn't want to come home and start cleaning the house (though he still does bits, but certainly not 50% of it).

Traveller1981

Any wrote: »

In our household joint account covers all joint spends, therefore shopping budget as well.

Our own left over monies are genuinely only for our own spend, incl presents for each other.

For other family presents there is still budget in joint account.

However we have no kids, things might change once we do, but as I am not all that hot about children and even if we had some I would want to go back to work I don't think it would affect us massively.

There would just be extra budget in joint a/c for the child and it's future.

This is pretty much how our house works, and we do have kids, well one 5 month old baby. At the moment, my partner is on maternity leave, so I pay all the bills, she pays for food. When she returns to work, we will continue in the same fashion we were before, just adjust our payments more due to her being part time.
I whole heartedly think separate accounts, and a joint for bills is the best method for us, and so does she. I just pay a greater percentage into the joint.

Traveller1981

Diane1961 wrote: »

Absolutely not. A deal is a deal, would you be prepared to be expected to pay more if you were suddenly the one earning more? It only changes when someone stays at home, or goes part time, to look after children.

My advice to couples is always the same - 100% individual responsibility. Separate accounts for earned income, joint account for all joint income and household bills (+ contingency money, planned household improvements etc.) 50:50 in each on pay day. The rest is your own money, to fritter or save as you wish.

If you have expensive tastes you can indulge them guilt free, if you are frugal you reap the benefit, if you want to save for a family benefit then do so freely. Individual transport costs, mobile phone contracts, Sky packages, hair dressing, clothing, waxing, drinking, smoking etc., are your responsibility and therefore by your choice. This also means that you can make savings without relying on the other person. Freedom

I completely agree, although not necessarily with the 50/50. I am happy to pay in a bit more so that my partner has a bit more disposable income. I still have plenty to play with/save/use how I want.

Victoria270385_2

sng165 - thats probably the best way of doing it, i pay all the bills with my wage and then we live of his wage. His wage varies depending on the hours he does each week. He has dropped about £80 a week in order to have weekends and nights free but i have a 2nd job which i get about £60 a week so its not too bad, i would rather him do his current job and get to spend more time with his son. With his wage being quite low at the moment he cant really contribute to my loan debt in order to clear it quicker but it will be gone in 18 months time any way. I bring home around £1400 between the two jobs and he brings home about £880, ignoring my debt our bills are around £650 a month not including mobile phones or my car so I will definately be able to have all the bills come out from my account and still pay for my car and mobile at the start of the month. Problem sorted :O) thanks x

BNT

elvis86 wrote: »

For the purpose of discussing the principle, that's assuming that each partner pays their own way for everything else from their disposable income.

If Jill actually paid for all of the food shopping and paid for them to go on holiday 3 times a year, then obviously that wouldn't be a fair replication of how they divide their money.

But if you are married, 'paying your own way' is a vague concept. When we go on holiday, we don't have a cost for me and a cost for my wife and a cost for the children. We have a cost for a family holiday. I don't buy a phone that I can afford out of my personal disposable income, as I would if I were single. I buy a phone that, as a family, we can afford. We don't get seperate checks at dinner and pay our own share; we have a meal and pay for it.

As a family, what we buy and what it costs is not determined by which bank account or credit card is used to pay for it. I don't think it is particularly relevant who earns what.