Fair way to share petrol costs

Sambucus_Nigra

cuteangel24 wrote: »

One friend arranges between the others what they want to do, and then texts me what the plan is. So this time she said "everyone wants to go to Redditch, so you'll have to bring your car, but don't worry we'll all contribute so it's not expensive for you."

You will either have to suck it up or get a little more braver with your responses to this.

It sounds like you aren't even part of the planning of these gatherings...these school friends are taking the p and quite frankly I'd be moving on if it were me.

Text back the number of a local taxi firm next time and if you get a response, tell them that you are busy doing something else and if they had wanted your company, they should have included you in the planning and paid up for petrol last time.

dizziblonde

I had a cousin who did this - and it ended up with my mother putting her foot down about her basically taking the utter mickey. Didn't do that much - I just suddenly became unavailable a lot, and she's still a freeloading waste of space to this day - she just had to find a new target.

londonsurrey

Your car, your choice, your rights.
There's a difference between being confrontational and being straightforward.

Confrontational is suddenly being angry at them out of the blue, and pouring out a load of complaints that have bugged you for yonks. They'll be standing there, going "Wot? Where did all this come from? We had no idea it bugged you".

Straightforward is thinking it through calmly, planning and controlling the situation.
If it bothers you that you are out of pocket, then decide how much you are out of pocket by. For instance for a day out costing £15 of petrol, would you want £15 split between the friends, or would you like another amount factoring in running costs, so it's say, £25 split between the friends? So now you have the amount per head, say £3 or £5.

When you are invited, and your car along with you, simply say, "That sounds really good. But if I brought the car, it would cost me quite a bit. Can everyone contribute £3/£5 if I bring the car?"

If they say no, then cheerfully say, "Oh ok then, we'll go by bus". And go on to the next topic of discussion.
Problem sorted.

You're now not a doormat, or expecting your friends to be lovely and thoughtful or mindreaders (I admit that would be nice, and I'd like people to be like that too, but they're a small percentage of the population). You will also know if you're appreciated for you, with or without car.

Idiophreak

I guess it might be because I can better afford it, but I'd never dream of taking money off my friends for these things. If my friends said "we're all meeting out of town" I'd drive there - because I hate public transport, and because driving's nearly always cheaper. So I think the "you'll be driving anyway" argument is kinda reasonable.

If I can save my friends time and money by giving them a lift, too...I'll always do it...And when I'm designated driver I'll happily give people a lift home - because then I feel like I'm getting better "value" out of not drinking. If this is *massively* out of my way, I might not bother...but for the most part, it's fine.

If you were having these problems every day, I'd feel differently about it...but a couple of quid every few months just doesn't seem worth losing friends over. Likewise, if it was a long journey, I'd feel differently. My friend and I often share lifts when we go back to visit our uni mates (140 miles) and the one that drives always gets his drinks bought all weekend to compensate (which, to be fair, normally adds up to more than the cost of petrol ).

I think the issue here, though, is that I have good friends...who would (and do) do the same for me in an instant...frankly, it doesn't sound like you rate your friends that highly, so they're probably not worth the effort.

If you want to calculate fair costs, think *honestly* about how you'd get from place to place without them there, take that from what the petrol will actually cost you for a day and divide that between the rest of them....But I'd think long and hard about whether you want to be the guy that turns up and says "I need £1.85 petrol money from you or I'm not giving you a lift"...

claire16c

Idiophreak wrote: »

I guess it might be because I can better afford it, but I'd never dream of taking money off my friends for these things. If my friends said "we're all meeting out of town" I'd drive there - because I hate public transport, and because driving's nearly always cheaper. So I think the "you'll be driving anyway" argument is kinda reasonable.

If I can save my friends time and money by giving them a lift, too...I'll always do it...And when I'm designated driver I'll happily give people a lift home - because then I feel like I'm getting better "value" out of not drinking. If this is *massively* out of my way, I might not bother...but for the most part, it's fine.

If you were having these problems every day, I'd feel differently about it...but a couple of quid every few months just doesn't seem worth losing friends over. Likewise, if it was a long journey, I'd feel differently. My friend and I often share lifts when we go back to visit our uni mates (140 miles) and the one that drives always gets his drinks bought all weekend to compensate (which, to be fair, normally adds up to more than the cost of petrol ).

I think the issue here, though, is that I have good friends...who would (and do) do the same for me in an instant...frankly, it doesn't sound like you rate your friends that highly, so they're probably not worth the effort.

If you want to calculate fair costs, think *honestly* about how you'd get from place to place without them there, take that from what the petrol will actually cost you for a day and divide that between the rest of them....But I'd think long and hard about whether you want to be the guy that turns up and says "I need £1.85 petrol money from you or I'm not giving you a lift"...

I agree. I used to get money off my friends because I used to drive us all into town for nights out, at least once a week, and sometimes random shopping trips too. So it was happening all the time, and I was saving them a lot in train fares - which are far more expensive than petrol.

But for something that happens every few months, I probably wouldnt bother - because Id know they would probably be compensating me at some other time anyway, and it all works out in the end. I.e when i was a student and my friend had a full time job, shed always contribute more to car parking and drinks, whereas when i had a car and she didnt, I was paying for the petrol.

And Id rather give someone a lift if its not going massively out of the way, because theyre my friend. So it definitely does sound like these 'friends' perhaps arent really that friendly at all.

And therefore the issue isnt really the petrol at all.

Imp

I think your car should start running out of petrol when you are out with these friends, and need a push for several miles to the nearest petrol station. As the only person insured to drive it, you won't be able to help with the pushing.

roadiegirl

When I used to give my friends a lift to college (20 mile round trip), they all used to give me either £2 a journey, or £10 for the week if having a lift everyday, this used to cover my petrol costs, as they were having to the door service. If we're all going out shopping etc, we just work out how much petrol it will take and split it between however many of us were in the car. Many of my friends do however buy me a drink etc as a thankyou for me being the driver and going out of my way to pick up/drop off.
And if on night out where its going to cost us more than its worth for taxis, if one of us drives, everyone else chips in for the driver's drinks for the night!

Glitzkiss

cuteangel24 wrote: »

Afew times i've said about petrol being expensive. One of my friends said that her sister drives, and as i have a small 1.2 engine car it doesn't cost very much in petrol, but her sisters car is bigger and therefore more expensive to run. So that makes me feel that they're thinking i'm making a fuss over nothing. I've asked 1-3 times, but now i just feel they think i'm a broken record harping on over afew pounds.

Your wee 1.2 engine will have to work much harder than the sister's bigger (engine? or just size) car when it's carrying you and your 4 friends therefore using much more fuel. You aren't making a fuss and your friends need to understand that small-engined cars are only frugal when mostly empty. With the cost of fuel nowadays it's only fair that they contribute

Hermia

I don't think anyone else has commented on the fact that you said your friends leave their rubbish in your car. Is that normal behaviour amongst the young folks these days?! That seems like a lack of respect to me. I'm not usually confrontational, but if someone left rubbish in my car (& it wasn't a genuine oversight) I'd get out of the car and shove it in their handbag!

I don't expect money unless it's a long journey or there are expensive parking costs. I do expect people to think about the fact I can't drink and will get home later after dropping everyone off. If your friends don't care about you maybe not feeling like driving or not caring that you are getting home later every time I think it shows a lack of respect.

beth.stephenson2009

Your not a taxi driver, tell them to get the bus- or tell them to get their parents to take them. There taking advantage. If they want to go somewhere, they should find the means of getting there, it isnt your problem.

Work on on Google maps the distance between the places they want to go (that you dont of course) and charge them that- if they refuse, tell them to get out of YOUR car. As for the rubbish, if they refuse to take it, dump it on there driveway- I bet they wouldnt be happy about it.

I don't think it is unreasonable to drop them all off at home however, unless they all live like 20 miles apart.

FYI, im not confrontational either. But in way they are just taking the mick, and getting away with it so will continue to do it.