Fair way to share petrol costs

cuteangel24

Hi.
I am looking for advice on what to do/say and the best way to say it.
Basically I'm 22, recently got my first job after graduating earning £15k, which really isn't alot. Alot of my uni friends have cars, and when we gave each other lifts or went on days out we each at least oofered to pay for petrol, especially if we went on extended journeys, so the driver was not left out of pocket at all.

I am the only one of my school friends to have a car, they either haven't passed their test, or can't afford a car.
My parents paid for my car, but I'm responsible for all the associated costs like petrol, mot, tax, insurance. etc. which all swallows up a large portion of my salary. Insurance alone is £2k, even for a relatively experienced and safe driver like me, who'se been driving for nearly 4 yrs.

When we meet-up every few months they don't seem to have any respect for me or my car, leaving rubbish in car, being careless, wanting to go to alot of places...cinema, pizza place, separate dessert place, then being dropped off at each of their homes.
I'm a naturally shy, quiet person, and hate confrontation, but my issue is that they don't even at least offer to pay for petrol costs, even when i texted the one girl who arranged the day out about my car being expensive for me. She somehow doesn't bring it up at all during the day.
Another time i was low on petrol, so when i picked them up from the one house i put £10 petrol in, as i thought we wouldn't have a very long journey. I returned to the car and was given £8 by the 4 friends, meaning i paid £2 petrol out of my own pocket.
I thought this was unfair, as i was driving, and it was my car, but i also had to pay for petrol. I didn't want to say anything, as i thought i'd seem petty over such a small amount of money. The amount of places they want me to go to easily used up the ptrol i put in, so i was left out of pocket.

I thought as i was effectively a taxi driver for them i would simply cut down the times i see them, and let them manage on their own. I feel they only want me for my car, and i would like some suggestions on how to handle this, and what to say.

My mum's suggestion was for each of my friends to pay £3.80 each, which is the cost of a standard regional daysaver in the midlands. She pointed out that they'd pay that much on the buses, but they wouldn't have added comfort of a car, and the convenience of being dropped off door-to-door of the places they want to go to. Plus if they got a taxi to do the journey i end up making it would cost them at least triple that price.
Would you agree with this?

HelenYorkshire

I presume they don't compensate in other ways e.g. paying for your cinema ticket/coffee/etc?

I also hate confrontation
I would try broaching it as a "wow, petrol's expensive, unless we all chip in we're not going be able to go to *amazingly fun place*, especially with public transport being a bit pants"

They are taking the !!!!, to be honest, even if they don't mean to.
Perhaps a few hours waiting for buses to show up will make them appreciate your kindness.

msb5262

I think you should organise the next meet - and make it in a city centre so you can all go by public transport. That way you'll all be paying a similar amount...and if your friends start on about wanting to go by (your) car next time, set out your T & C very clearly!

HTH

MsB

Cherry_Bomb

cuteangel24 wrote: »

My mum's suggestion was for each of my friends to pay £3.80 each, which is the cost of a standard regional daysaver in the midlands.

Whilst I understand your mums thinking behind this you simply can't charge your friends the equivalent of a train/busfare. Well you can but expect a few laughs at your expense when you announce your new prices.

Whether they are purposefully taking advantage of you or whether they have just got too used to the idea of you being driver all the time I don't know. Either way you need to speak up about it

You could either a) stop being the des driver full stop and split all your money taking a taxi or b) when you pick up your friends tell them you need some petrol and that they will HAVE to contribute otherwise you'll all be going nowhere fast.

Gemmy_2

Gosh your insurance is high.
Sorry i'm not good with your actual question but prehaps i can be with insurance. I've had a bit of luck with mine recently

I'm 21 and live with my 20 year old bf. I own the car, we both share it. We have one years no claim between us. Every insurance company was quoting us £1000 - £2000 etc. We just got a quote with direct line for £660 for the both of us.

This might help Its definetly worth looking at.

Wine_of_the_World

I was on a low wage and one of the only people to have a car. But, i lived in a city centre and so never drove anywhere socially - car was for work and back only. I never wanted to be stuck being the driver so would always meet people at the agreed location - I'd always walk anyway.

I think some poeple dont think of the cost of petrol - and think 'you are going there anyway' so dont think taking them is an extra cost. For little journeys I would think its best you arrange to meet at the location - so if someone says we are going to X just relpy "Great, what time are we meeting - see you there" kind of thing.

But for longer journeys - to one off kind of places - I think its fair to ask your friends to split the cost of petrol between just them - you will be getting a 'free ride' but will also have the very expensive costs of insurance, car maintenance, etc.

suki1001

I think either public transport from now or, or get them to do a weekly contribution, say £5 each a week to cover their petrol. That should do it.

Don't go out when they ask and explain you can't afford to keep running the car, because the petrols so expensive. See if they suggest contributing.

cuteangel24

HelenYorkshire - No, they don't pay for me in any other way.
I've said everythings got so expensive, insurance, petrol. etc. I'm thinking of selling my car because its just not worthit for me anymore. But they don't seem to understand what i'm trying to say. They just agree and say, "yeah, that's why we're not buying a car yet, because its so expensive."

msb5262 - We did used to go by bus to the city centre before i was confident using my car, but last few times they've said they're bored of the city centre, because they work there. etc. and they want to go somewhere different like an out of town centre to shop, then somewhere else for bowling/cinema, etc. then somewhere else to eat, then being dropped off at each of their houses. I don't really know what t&c's to say tbh.

Cherry_Bomb - I think its more that they've got too used to me being driver tbh, and they are taking advantage of me too, albeit unintentionally. (I hope)
I could tell them they HAVE to contribute howevermuch, but i'm just worried that with me on one side and 4 of them, they might not agree, or put up some argument to not contribute as much.

Gemmy - Yep, they were the quotes we got too. I'm 22, and got my dad as named driver who's a very safe and experienced driver, but we still got such high quotes. Thanks for that, will defo look into directline.

bylromarha

I'd tell them that the car is too expensive for you to run outside of work, so you'll meet them at bowling (or wherever) next time you meet up.

Take the bus yourself (if it isn't too much hassle for you) then you can't be lumped with having to drive them about to the different places they want to go. Make it clear before you go you aren't taking the car. If they whinge about it when they're there, tell them the only way you can afford to ferry them about is if they pay a realistic petrol price for all the journeys they ask you to do.

BTW, this isn't a new problem. I slogged my guts out to pay for a car when I was 18 and all my friends thought I'd be happy ferrying them from one part of town to the other. I started charging a flat rate of £1 per trip (realistic petrol cost then) and the tightwads still refused to pay it so I made them find their own way rather than me do an hours round trip collecting them all, then another hour dropping them all home and have to pay my petrol for the priviledge of doing so.

BugglyB

I also hate confrontation and it sounds like your friends are being a bit thoughtless. I would be tempted to 'white lie' - when you arrange to go out, say your dad needs the car, or its being fixed, or even that you're not using it for a while as petrol has gone up so much.

Ich_2

Probably used to dad's/mum's taxi as well where they have no worry about the costs.
Be careful about a "fixed" charge or contribution and ensure you also contribute towards the journey cost otherwise you may fall foul of insurance restrictions