Fair way to share petrol costs

Cherry_Bomb

If you're worried about speaking to them then sound like crap friends anyway.
I get you don't like confrontation. There's always the quiet reserved one in a group, but to be worried about voicing what is a really valid point is just wrong.

You really are going have to just bite the bullet and speak up. Be ballsy and just turn up at the petrol station and ask who's paying!

cuteangel24

Wine of the World - Thanks for your advice. I wouldn't mind if "i was going there anyway," because an extra person or 2 doesn't make a difference. But they always decide to go to alot of different places, just because i have the car. They wouldn't do that if they had to go on the bus. Thanks, i will tell them next time to split the petrol cost between themselves.

suki1001 - I've said petrols expensive so many times, but i think they see me as someone who doesn't want to spend my money and wants them to instead. But, still they don't offer, until they actually see me put petrol in infront of them. I am leaning towards public transport if the petrol costs aren't sorted.

Annisele

If this is only "every few months", then tbh I'd just let it go - consider it an extra cost of meeting up with them, then decide if seeing them is worth the cost. If it is, pay up; if it's not, stop meeting them.

suki1001

cuteangel24 wrote: »

Wine of the World - Thanks for your advice. I wouldn't mind if "i was going there anyway," because an extra person or 2 doesn't make a difference. But they always decide to go to alot of different places, just because i have the car. They wouldn't do that if they had to go on the bus. Thanks, i will tell them next time to split the petrol cost between themselves.

suki1001 - I've said petrols expensive so many times, but i think they see me as someone who doesn't want to spend my money and wants them to instead. But, still they don't offer, until they actually see me put petrol in infront of them. I am leaning towards public transport if the petrol costs aren't sorted.

So do they only offer when you're at the petrol station? In that case, could you make a habit of going to the petrol station when you've picked them up? I'm guessing you only really hint at what you're really getting at. Surely they'll understand if you ask them outright. Next time they suggest going further afield, say you an't afford to go that far because of the petrol money.

Emmzi

start wanting a beer when you go out. then you'll all have to go out in town or get a bus together.

PasturesNew

I've never taken a penny from friends/family for journeys made. What I have done though is drop a lot of friends over the years because they're disrespectful, demanding, messy and annoying.

cuteangel24

bylromarha - I'm not too bothered about taking public transport, its cheaper and healthier. btw, you're friends sound like mine.

BugglyB - I have done that afew times, that my cars not working, or is at the garage, but they just arrange it for week or 2 later when my cars available.

Ich - That's my problem that i think i contribute more to the journey cost than everyone else. If i did charge what a taxi charged for the 5+ journeys i make with them each time I'd be able to run my car for a week!

Cherry_Bomb - Afew times i've said about petrol being expensive. One of my friends said that her sister drives, and as i have a small 1.2 engine car it doesn't cost very much in petrol, but her sisters car is bigger and therefore more expensive to run. So that makes me feel that they're thinking i'm making a fuss over nothing. I've asked 1-3 times, but now i just feel they think i'm a broken record harping on over afew pounds.

Annisele - The last time we met up was in September, and tbh as i feel they're taking advantage of me, i don't feel its worthit anymore, unless they start offering more appropriate costs. I'm due to see them next week as one of them got married end of last year. After that i want to stay in contact with them more online/phone, rather than in person, where they always want my car aswell.

thegirlintheattic

I personally never ask for petrol costs (or dieseal costs in my case) luckily most people offer to cover the costs of long journeys. The easiest thing to do is to stop taking your car and use public transport. They probably don't realise that they should offer to contribute or that your getting pevved about it - non-drivers rarely do.

cuteangel24

suki1001 - Yep, the only time they've offered is when they physically saw me putting petrol in. Even then they split it 5 ways (including me) when it was my car anyway. I would love to pay £2 and be taken all over the city and then dropped off to my door.

Emmzi - haha, i get what you're getting at. I don't drink, but i might suddenly start!

PasturesNew - They're the only people i'm still in contact with from school, but tbh all those words describe them. My mum/sisters have said to drop them, but i suppose its the fear of rejection and having to make new friends who you don't share the past and memories with.
I can now see they want me for my car, but my thinking is they were friends with me at school before i had my car, so they maybe could be again(?)

Bangton

Can I be honest? It sounds like they are calling the shots as to where you go based on you having a car.

They don't like town because they work there and it's boring? Well...take you out of the equation and where would they go? Somewhere accessible like town I presume.

I know you don't like confrontation and neither do I BUT I would be very honest and mention to them that petrol, insurance etc is really high and on your salary you can't afford it at the moment. TELL them that for now you would rather meet in town as it's accessible for everyone and means you can leave your car at home. Honesty really is the best policy and friends should want to see you wherever you are. I'm quite shocked that your friends determine where your all going out...in your car?? It's a bit rude...do they never ask if you mind?