social anxiety - what to do?

Racheldevon

Hi

Your clearly keen to overcome this, which is great. I would recommend that you go and see your GP, highlight the way in which this is impacting on your day-to-day life/happipness/wellbeing etc etc, & ask for a referral to either your local IAPT service, or your local psychology department. Either service can support you in address the underlying cause or the social anxiety you're experiencing - it's never too late to go back through the 'talking therapy' route if you're willing to explore that. Medication does have a place, but it's only going to treat the symptoms, not the root cause as such. Best of luck to you

passatrider

Hi mate,

I'm a 42 yo guy who was diagnosed with Social Anxiety(Social Phobia) in 1993. It can be very disabling if you do not get help for it. The main thing is NOT to avoid things as this just feeds the anxiety and makes it worse in the long run.

I've always had trust issues myself after a very turbulent upbringing so know where you are coming from . However, after many years of suffering I've managed to get some stability in my life in the last three years or so. It turned out through research and re -diagnosis I suffer from a Avoidant Personality Disorder too. This basically means I have major trust issues in relationships and with people in general which has been tackled through therapy. I'm not cured but at least I can learn to manage it better so I can get on with my life.

Sorry if I went a bit off topic but SA and APD are closely linked so you might want to google them both to see what I mean.

HTH


NB: A call in to your GP might be a good idea as they are well aware of Social Anxiety.

busiscoming2

Gingham_R wrote: »

Yes, have a word with your GP. If he/she doesn't take you seriously, ask to speak to someone else. (Hard to stand up for yourself maybe? Do it in letter form if need be.)

Try to explain and take it from there.

Agree with Gingham, perhaps print out your original post OP and take it for the GP to read.

meritaten

Take one thing at a time
Relationships - zero

What sort of relationship do you mean? friendship? family? sexual?

GeeBee38

distraction wrote: »

I'm worried about how much therapy can do for me now, and concerned I might end up being referred to a psychiatrist.

I guess a GP would be a good place to start, but i'm not sure how to approach the situation. Should I try to explain, or just ask for what I think I need?

Hi distraction,

It doesn't matter how much therapy you have or need, the main thing it that you get better, which you will
And being referred to a psychiatrist isn't a bad thing, if you need help, that's what they are there for.

Just tell the doctor everything and exactly how you feel
just be honest, and you will get the help you need..

Try not to worry, it's a bit daunting at first but once you get the help you will be glad you did

meritaten

passatrider wrote: »

Hi mate,

I'm a 42 yo guy who was diagnosed with Social Anxiety(Social Phobia) in 1993. It can be very disabling if you do not get help for it. The main thing is NOT to avoid things as this just feeds the anxiety and makes it worse in the long run.

I've always had trust issues myself after a very turbulent upbringing so know where you are coming from . However, after many years of suffering I've managed to get some stability in my life in the last three years or so. It turned out through research and re -diagnosis I suffer from a Avoidant Personality Disorder too. This basically means I have major trust issues in relationships and with people in general which has been tackled through therapy. I'm not cured but at least I can learn to manage it better so I can get on with my life.

Sorry if I went a bit off topic but SA and APD are closely linked so you might want to google them both to see what I mean.

HTH

yes - this is where I was heading! passatrider beat me to it!

distraction

meritaten wrote: »

Take one thing at a time
Relationships - zero

What sort of relationship do you mean? friendship? family? sexual?

My world is build around being self sufficient. Relying only on myself, being cautious in who to trust etc. It might seem odd, but I assure you its quite normal to me.

My family don't know much about me (stuff you just read in this thread), but we get along just fine.

Friendship - I have a few friends who I trust, the rest and most work colleagues fall into the just acquaintances category.

Sexual - Would be none (which I know must seem very strange )

Its kinda frustrating.

meritaten

you think that having no sexual relationship is abnormal? I can assure you it isnt! many people have no sex. for many reasons. Its not strange hun. Frustrating .......well yes.
If you have trust issues then sex can be tied up in that. unless you trust someone then sex can be out of the question.
for good reasons.
you may well need to build a relationship before sex - there is nothing wrong with that. Casual sex is stupid and irresponsible.
but, it sounds as if you have problems building those relationships. you dont trust any one enough to let them close enough.

reheat

Not silly at all, it's very very real. I grew up in the 50s and 60s with a very disjointed childhood. These days I realise I had what is now called social anxiety/phobia, but in those days I was just deemed to be chronicly shy, a loner, bit of a misfit. In truth I seemed to totally lack the "how to get on with other people" gene!

I appreciate it's going to be different for everyone, and I'm not for a second suggesting this for you, but my solution was to join the forces - dropped myself into the deep end for sure. Was a long hard road, but one of the many lessons I learned from it, was that you have to push out of your comfort zone, because for me my comfort zone would have been to curl up in a ball and hide from everyone.

Took a long while before I could feel reasonably comfortable with people, though always found it easier with fellahs than girls. But I found a wonderful girl and we've been married close to 30 years, best thing I ever did.

So you can get through the problem, you really can, but it's a tough road some times. The most important step is recognising the need to do something, and being prepared to do it. You're already on the way with that one.

So finally I'd say you need to take things a step at a time, but each step needs to be something that helps you move forward, just a little bit, something positive no matter how small. Don't push yourself so far outside your comfort zone you can't cope, but accept that each step will need a bit of effort. And slowly but surely, very very surely, you will move forward.

And somewhere along the way, one of these steps may well help find you a good relationship. I really do believe life tends to help those who strive to help themselves.

SailorSam

passatrider wrote: »

Hi mate,

It turned out through research and re -diagnosis I suffer from a Avoidant Personality Disorder too. This basically means I have major trust issues in relationships and with people in general

Sorry if I went a bit off topic but SA and APD are closely linked so you might want to google them both to see what I mean.

HTH

Thanks passatrider, have googled and joined a APD site, it looks interesting.