So very angry right now!!

Gingham_R

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Wouldn't a good parent have approached this subject with a child before the age of 14?

I'm not getting involved in this further. You tell a grieving woman that she's not a good enough parent if you want to. I'm having none of it.

the_pink_panther_2

JB- Sorry, I totally understand that this was upsetting for your daughter, and not her fault at all. However I do think you cannot blame the school. When planning and conducting lessons teachers have a whole wealth of factors to plan for and also respond to in a very short space of time. It is simply impossible to foresee every eventuality. I do think that as a parent you have a responsibility to inform your daughter's school of any issues you deem to be particularly upsetting for her. It really isn't for teachers to second guess everything otherwise lessons would end up all being non examinable discussions and little which is actually examinable would ever be taught (time constraints), teachers honestly are very pushed for time to cover their syllabus. I honestly wouldn't be so angry either, odds are that the teacher was upset for your daughter, no way would she/he have wanted to upset her. I think you really ought to inform the school of the details so as to avoid similar situations in future. I'm guessing however that your anger is possible down to an accumulation of factors rather than one isolated issue and do have sympathy for you if overall you feel you can't work with the school for the best of your daughter.

thegirlintheattic

Gingham_R wrote: »

I'm not getting involved in this further. You tell a grieving woman that she's not a good enough parent if you want to. I'm having none of it.

Then why reply?

Gingham_R

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Then why reply?

This is pathetic. Really. You can see that, can't you?

Millionaire

Can't see the school has done anything wrong.

borkid

milliebear00001 wrote: »

I have a gifted child in my class who is just like this. Every other teacher he has had, has found him extremely disruptive. I LOVE him!

I can cater for him in lessons easily enough with lots of higher level, challenging problem solving stuff, but he is a nightmare at lunchtimes and breaktimes.

I give him what little extra time I can by giving up my assembly time PPA to give him (and another child) extra tuition using philosophy style, critical thinking questions. He LOVES these, and says mine is the first class he's ever been encouraged to ask questions in! In fact, his last teacher (another school) 'banned him' from asking questions! I can understand how that might have happened, even though I don't agree with it myself. One of the most important thing I've found when dealing with gifted children is to admit when you don't know the answer to one of their questions, just be honest and they're fine but you or they do have to go and look it up.

I think I am doing OK with this child, but am aware that he could benefit from so much more intervention from elsewhere. I also worry that I am missing others, and know there are parents who resent this sort of 'unequal' (as they see it) treatment.

I had a similar pupil years 10+ years ago. He was OK when I explained that his questions would confuse others in the class but that I'd listen to them and try to answer them during the lesson when others were working. I also lent him lots of my science books, not text books but adult general science reading books and he'd discuss them with me when I was on library duty in the lunchtime. Having said that his written work was awful but we sat down and worked out what he needed to do for the exams even though he 'thought it was obvious and why were the questions so stupid'.

splishsplash

My dad died suddenly when I was 11. He was buried on Christmas Eve. I took a long time to come to terms with it, I was a real daddy's girl.
I latched on to my maternal grandfather who I doted on, and who doted on me. He died six months after my dad. I was so upset, I wasn't allowed to the cemetary.
For at least a year afterwards, anytime anyone mentioned my dad, I would start crying. If dads or death were mentioned in class, I would feel my head burning and a dread in the pit of my stomach.

Then I started to come to terms with it. By the age of 14 I was able to deal with it. There was no communication after the initial couple of weeks between my mom and the school that I'm aware of. Counselling didn't exist in my area, we dealt with things by talking about them and acknowledging that things were not the same but that life would go on.

I'm at a loss to understand why the OP's daughter was so angry and v.v.upset by a class on diabetes? Four years on, the awful memories have been assimilated and blunted by talking/counselling, surely? While the school should certainly be aware of recent deaths and tragedies in a child's life, they should certainly not be expected to have to worry about events that took place years earlier?

Life happens, death happens, but don't let your daughter be defined by those sad things, she has the rest of her life to look forward to, so please try to make sure she's looking ahead now, and not behind her.

Your anger is palpable throughout this thread, OP, so as others have said, it might be that you have a little work to do for yourself too.

I wish you both the very best, and I hope you give yourselves permission to move past this sad episode that happened years ago, whilst bringing many happy memories along with you.

Bravehearted_2

While I sympathise with you on what your child's going through; surely you and a few others here must see how ridiculous it is to try blaming the school or expecting them to alter the syllabus or texting you prior to lessons.

You're allowed to grieve and be upset but you cannot let that cloud your judgement - as in this instance, the school's done nothing wrong. And you also can't be mad at others for pointing this out.

jamespir

Gingham_R wrote: »

I'm not getting involved in this further. You tell a grieving woman that she's not a good enough parent if you want to. I'm having none of it.

i understand what you are saying but it was 4 years ago
and im not saying she's a bad parent but the girl was gonna have to face this one day

Derivative

This does seem rather strange.
Almost everyone by the age of ten has had a relative die, though perhaps not as close as a father.

Schools have a duty to educate children on things like diabetes, heart disease, the fact that fluffy mice get eaten by cats, and so on. How could they be expected to call parents about every lesson?

You may wish to sugar coat the facts of life - I would say that expecting others to do so, especially those entrusted to educate your children, is foolish.

I also dont see why specific illnesses should be concentrated on. Thats all I meant! after all - there are so many of them..........why single certain ones out? I agree with joeblack that this could be a minefield and will explain why.

Diabetes is hardly "singled out", it's one of the most common diseases in the UK and that's why it's chosen.