Am I being too sensitive?

FatVonD

People change, friendships change, you're at a different stage in your life to them and they *may* not be the slightest bit interested in baby stuff (and you have NO idea how much your life is going to change once you've had the baby!) Things will change again further down the line when they start having kids and you are the one with words of wisdom, just roll with it

Keriss

I must have phrased my OP badly, because I wasn't really looking for advice on what to do next, or wanting to have a shout and a rant. I honestly wanted to hear if other people thought I was being too sensitive, and if there were other explanations other than - "My friends hate me.". Clearly there are, which is quite a relief.

Maybe now, when I see my friends again, I'll be able to raise the topic sensibly without being upset or emotional, and I'll also be able to talk to my husband and reassure him that things may not be as black as they seem.

Beetlemama

I think you just moved yourself out of their social group love, they're all busy being young and fun and you're becoming a mummy and daddy and moving very much to the grown up world, it happened to a lot of us when we were suddenly all about our kids and they were still about having fun and feeling young.

Try not to worry, your partying days are over but your about to embark on the biggest adventure of your life, our son is nine now, nine, wow, how the time passes, but there's barely an hour in a day where we are not still in awe of this amazing person we had a hand in creating. Funny and charming and now old enough for wit and wisdom. The days of D and Me walking on the beach and acting like kids are past, yours may be too, but the best part of your life is just starting.

xxx

Keriss

Thanks Beetlemama, it helps to see such a positive side of things.

barbiedoll

And don't worry, your partying days are most definitely NOT over. It's just that your future parties will include sticky cakes, ice-cream, lots and lots of plastic toys, chicken nuggets and chips and Disney songs to which you will soon know all the words!

Your social life will change but you can still have fun (although not so much for the first year, your idea of fun will be a full 4 hours sleep :rotfl:)
but...... you will quite probably gain a new set of friends, and an even newer set of babies who will be your new party buddies. My friends and I used to do as you do now, all meet up at each others houses for a night of fun, games, music, food and drink. The couples used to have a "designated drinker", one parent would stay sober so that the other could let their hair down.....I have some very happy memories of those times!

meritaten

hmmmm - If they were my friends I would suspect that a 'surprise baby shower' was in the offing!
they are getting together to plan something nice for you?
you wont know hun - unless you ask!

Hanging_by_a_thread

My partner and I have a social circle similar to yours OP. There are 7 couples who we meet up with collectively about 3 or 4 times a year. Some who live near us we see more regularly.

There are times where we arrange to meet with some of these couples and dont invite the others along. Not to be mean or nasty or purpsoefully leave anyone out. Just that depending on what we have planned for a weekend some will find it more interesting and enjoyable than others.

You dont mention how far along you are in your pregnancy. Maybe they are thinking that two busy weekends in a row, when you are working in between might be to much. They could also be thinking that you and your hubby might be wanting to enjoy some couple time before baby comes along. Or that you will have loads to do to prepare like decorating the nursery.

If they have always been really good mates in the past then dont jump to worst case scenarios. If this is going to worry and upset you, and you dont feel up to calling them about it, then ask your husband to.

Sambucus_Nigra

Keriss wrote: »

I must have phrased my OP badly, because I wasn't really looking for advice on what to do next, or wanting to have a shout and a rant. I honestly wanted to hear if other people thought I was being too sensitive, and if there were other explanations other than - "My friends hate me.". Clearly there are, which is quite a relief.

Keriss wrote: »

I'm not planning on falling out with anyone, I'd just like to understand it all a bit more.

I took your initial ending phrase as above to be that you would want to understand it all a bit more, and hence you want to find out why they would do such a thing. Hence trying to find out whether you were after the truth [in whatever guise that may be].

Which is why I asked what you wanted to know about your friends in order to understand it a bit more.

Of course, whatever anyone on here says will just be speculation. It might be good, it might be bad, it might be that you just have moved on.

Good luck whatever it turns out to be.

picnmix

Hi OP. I understand where your coming from!

When you have had these get togethers in the past, do you always invite the whole bunch of you along?

When I was preggers with my first, most of our friends had already had kiddies and they were teenagers. We were very close to one couple and had known them since their kiddies were little, we had socialised with them, gone round to theirs for a meal when they couldn't get a babysitter or afford to go out, holidayed with them many many times. During my pregnancy the friendship did begin to cool off a bit, but we didn't give it a lot of thought. However once I had the baby to say they dropped us like a hot potato was an understatement. I was really shocked and angry, my friend even openly told me that she didn't think it was worth carrying on as they had had their kiddies and didn't feel they wanted to socialise with us with baby around, and they thought we would expect the same type of support from them as they had given us when theirs were little, ie sitting in and having a meal and a drink, they weren't interested in chatting to us all things baby, they had been their and done that snd didn't want to "go through it" and that was that. It was just like being dumped by a BF!

I'm not for one minute suggesting that this will happen, but your friendships do change when you had kiddies, I have 2 really close friends now who I have met through being a mummy, I would never have met them under normal circumstances, and a whole circle of friends.

Talk to them and just ask, take care and enjoy your pregnancy x