Downsizing and smaller bedrooms

jellyhead

How do you get to that single bed? I am having a thick moment and wondering if it's like Narnia?

On the subject of fitting a partner in I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a 2-bed council flat or house to fit 4 people in. I have 4 in mine, and most of this estate has 4 people living in each house.

TeenyBash

looby75 wrote: »

wow a lot of assumptions there!

apart from the the fact the OP has already posted that she's now found out that a double bed will fit in the small room so the boys can have the bigger room you there is absolutely no reason for anyone to move out of a council properly if they start a new relationship, why on earth would anyone (especially someone with children) want to give up the security of a council tenancy when there is no guarentee that the relationship will work out. You never really know someone until you live with them.

Where are the assumptions? I asked a question in my post, that's the closest there was to an assumption, that I can see, or that was intended. The rest was based upon posts the OP made.

But anyway, besides the point. This has flagged up some thoughts for me, I'll explore in another thread, maybe.

OP, glad you have things sorted out now.

sarymclary

If you can fit your bed in the small room, then fine. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel at all guilty about putting the boys into the smaller room.

There's no doubting that in everything you do, your boys always come first. What also needs to be remembered is that you also need to consider your own needs too. A mum who is happy in herself, and also taken care of, will always be a better mum.

You have a history of having a bad back, so it's important that you have a comfortable night's sleep. Your boys rely solely on you most of the time for all their needs, so you need to be a happy healthy mum for them. If that also means that mum gets some regular bedroom gymnastics with her fella, even better A happy family is about everyone's needs being met on the simple things; love, security, cuddles (for everyone), and nurturing. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you don't need nurturing... in fact, with the trauma and abuse you had with your ex, I'd say you deserve it more than most in any new relationships.

When I had to drastically downsize and move into a different house, I had the biggest room because it was the only one my bed would fit into (it's a super kingsize). It was extremely expensive, costing almost £1700 at a reduced price when we got it, and it was my sanctuary at the end of the day. All my boys would climb in most mornings for a cuddle, and when I had a new partner, it meant we had a retreat of our own in there, when the children had the run of the rest of the house. It's hard to get time on your own with a new partner when you have the children at home 100% of the time.

My eldest 2 boys had bunk beds until they were 16 and 15, and these are the same size as full-sized single beds. There weren't any issues with them sharing, if anything I'd say it made them closer to share as long as they did. They are now split, and my youngest 2 are using them as single beds (we've moved again into my partner's house now, but I waited 6 years until I felt I wanted to do so, as it's a big decision to make).

I did have some shorter length single beds too (5'5" long), that I bought and held onto many years back, when we were in our 1st house, and the rooms were tiny. I sold them on ebay last year, and there were others on there. I used these for my younger 2, but got so fed up of finding them both in one bunk, that I put them in a sofa bed (that I'd got stored in my shed), that folded down to a double bed size with proper matress, which they were happier with.

Do your boys play in their bedroom, or bring their toys into the lounge to play? Homework can be done sat at your dining table. Even now, with my eldest almost 20, and the younger two aged 13 and 11, they still all prefer to sit downstairs in the dining room (which we've put 2 sofas & table/chairs into to get maximum use of the space). We don't have TV's/consoles in their rooms as frankly we can't afford the extra electric they use. They have a nice big TV in this family room, and consoles that they share, plus a PC. This way we can see everything they are playing on, or what they're surfing on the 'net. We also find it's given us far more family time, rather than them skulking up to their bedrooms and not seeing them all night. I can hear my younger 2 playing in there now, giggling and chattering away. The eldest has bought himself a laptop, but even chooses to bring it downstairs to sit in there with his brothers.

As others have said, be creative with storage, and don't be like me and hoard everything!

I'm sure whatever you decide, you're going to make a smashing home for your family. Good luck!

Badger_Lady

jellyhead wrote: »

How do you get to that single bed? I am having a thick moment and wondering if it's like Narnia?

Spot on! In fact we're stencilling pictures of Aslan and Mr Tumnus on the walls Everyone who sees it thinks it's wonderful - the wardrobes go up to the ceiling so it's a really well-hidden secret.

In that diagram, there's a Dad in the double bed and his two daughters in single bunkbeds (they only stay at weekends). I think it's a great way to split one bedroom for a whole family

shellsuit

We must be barmy in our house :dance:

Son, 15 has the box room.

Daughter, 14, has the back bedroom, which is big.

Myself, my husband and the little fella (3 in May), have the front bedroom which is massive.

Next year, we're getting a sofa bed for the lounge, so me and my husband will be sleeping in there.

We only use the bedroom to sleep and dress, so we're quite happy to let the kids have a room each, and as the little man gets older, he will amass more toys, so will have plenty of room to play.

We can still keep all our clothes there as we have huge wardrobes and plenty of drawers for storage. All we'll need is a wardrobe for the little fella, which will go where his cotbed is now. Our king size bed will go, which means he will have even moe room.

We can't switch the kids bedrooms around as daughter got new furniture for her bedroom last year, so she will be staying put, and so long as the eldest has a bed, TV and consoles, he is happy.

We've got a dining room, which we could turn into another bedroom, but we all like to eat at the table together, so that's a no go.


If I were you, I would go in the small room, or get a sofa bed for the lounge, BUT, that's just me, and I'm not you! We all live our lives differently don't we, it doesn't mean we're right or wrong x

jellyhead

how fab! (to badger lady)

seven-day-weekend

19lottie82 wrote: »

There is no way I would be sleeping in a single bed either!

The OP isn’t going to be single forever, what happens if she gets a BF who would like to stay over? “Sorry you can’t, we both won’t fit in my single bed?” No thanks. And she won’t be able to spend the night at her potential new fellas a lot, as she will have the kids to consider.

The only people I know who sleep in single beds are children, or sad cases who have never bothered to move out of the same room in their parents houses that they have slept in since they were 3!

OP, as someone already said, you can get “small” doubles” or ¾ sized beds, that are 6 inches narrower than regular doubles. They might be a slight squeeze to have 2 people sleep in them, but they are manageable and a lot better than a single.

When we lived in Spain, my husband and I slept in single beds in the same room. It did not hamper us in any way whatsoever.:)

I personally would put the boys in the large room, I myself would have a sofabed in the living room and use the small room for a study/storage so that the boys could do their homework and everyone had somewhere to store all their things.

Dontknowanymore

TeenyBash wrote: »

I read through and see the reasons you feel this would not be an option is you can't sleep with your partner and you may not fit into a single bed? Nope. Not at all.I have said about having sex in my bed but have not once said I have a partner and not once said that is the solereason for not wanting to sleep in a single bed!

I don't mean to cause any insult by this, but...Does your partner live with you? If not, then I personally don't feel that it would be a fair reason for your two boys to have a small room, just so you're partner can sleep in the same bed when he is there. I just feel that your children should come first, before anything else.
Once again, I have not implied or said this! inact if you read the OP I had already said from the off that if my bed fits in there then they can have the big room. And you have caused insult by implying I do not put my childrens needs before mine! How bloody dare you!

And yes, maybe you will have someone else (your partner) living with you in the future, but you live in a council property...so I think before considering moving someone in, you'd need to look at ways to rent privately for a bigger property, if your partner is working and chipping in. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about, and clearly you did not read the thread cos I don't have a partner and even if I did I would not need to look for private rentals?

Council housing is there for those most in need, your lifestyle choices while still on low income and reliant on their help isn't their responsibility and I don't see why they should have to accommodate that. Woa there Nelly! Gettin a bit ahead of yourself here aint ya! I aint lookin for a relationship anytime soon and once again you clearly have no idea what you are on about, this thread is not the place to moan about council housing policy luv.

As you mentioned, you've wanted to move back for a long time. It sounds like a nice property. I'd seriously consider it. If not, you'll have to wait a little longer for your 'ideal' property.I have already said I am taking it, which you would know if you had read the thread properly.

I cannot seriously beleive I am being accused of being a crap Mum because I said sleeping in a single bed is not an option!
I know of course that ONW was trying to insinuate that I do infact have a partner and he possibly lives with me but I don't want to say as I claim lone parent benefits.
Well that is a load of crap, and I have plenty of MSE members who can vouch for me on that one!

You lot are going on like sleeping in a small room in bunk beds is child abuse! !!!!!! get a grip!
Yes I am a mother and yes my children come first but for christ sakes, I have a life, a right to be comfy in my own home, I'm not JUST Mum!
Who would be more comfotable sleeping in single beds, me who is a fully grown and overweight woman or 2 children who's combined weight doesn't even come in at 5 stone!

jackyann

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

When we lived in Spain, my husband and I slept in single beds in the same room. It did not hamper us in any way whatsoever.:)

I personally would put the boys in the large room, I myself would have a sofabed in the living room and use the small room for a study/storage so that the boys could do their homework and everyone had somewhere to store all their things.

Although I see the disadvantages in this, I'd just like to share an option a friend of mine used in a small house:
3 children in the "large" bedroom; parents in the small (just room for a double bed) room; the medium room was used as suggested - it could take a single bed, spare wardrobe / cupboard & a desk. This was used for study, for guests, and for any child who needed "time out" from the shared room - when smaller it was usually b/c they were ill, when older, at exam time. It did work very well indeed.
We used bunk beds for years - they are fine, except when children are poorly - but if you can use the option above (or of course, move them into your bed) it's fine.
People seem to divide on using a sofa bed in the living room - some love the fact that it's warm, you have all your stuff around you; other find it "messy".

Brighton_belle

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

I cannot seriously beleive I am being accused of being a crap Mum because I said sleeping in a single bed is not an option!
I know of course that ONW was trying to insinuate that I do infact have a partner and he possibly lives with me but I don't want to say as I claim lone parent benefits.
Well that is a load of crap, and I have plenty of MSE members who can vouch for me on that one!

You lot are going on like sleeping in a small room in bunk beds is child abuse! !!!!!! get a grip!
Yes I am a mother and yes my children come first but for christ sakes, I have a life, a right to be comfy in my own home, I'm not JUST Mum!
Who would be more comfotable sleeping in single beds, me who is a fully grown and overweight woman or 2 children who's combined weight doesn't even come in at 5 stone!

You're just going to have to ignore them OP, I find their attitudes astonishing too. For year and years small children have shared bunk beds in small rooms, and funnily enough survived, coped and dare I say florished just fine. I really don't know what they are about.
Agree with SaryMcClarys excellent post 100%. You as a mum need a comfortable space to sleep. End of. This is not putting your needs above the childrens, they would have had a perfectly good time in bunk beds, with a lovely sitting room to play/relax, have family time in. And as you said, right from the beginning you said if the double fits then no issue, they will have the larger room.