is there anyone else out there that keeps debt from oh/partner?

janiegs

My husband knows I owe money, but he hasn't asked how much. He is chuffed that I've found this forum to help me keep my grubby little mitts off my credit card, and find ways of paying off what I owe more quickly.

I also do all the house finance and his too as he works away. Oddly enough, they run like clockwork. If ever any of the bills/mortgage etc weren't paid I would very quickly be an ex-wife, so it's only my own awful spending habits that need sorting.

Sloppy_Saver

(sorry, a bit off subject, but I just noticed something...)

richardvc wrote:

The good news is now she shares my pleasure as the debt reduces and I have her total support and respect in the way I have tackled my debt problems.

She's not the only one who respects the way you tackled your debt problem, I noticed the information panel at the bottom of your post and I'm really impressed at how much debt you've cleared so far and in such a short space of time. That must have taken an iron will. Really inspirational.

chevalier

Hi there OP
Is any of your debt in joint names? Just to be morbid and you passed away, how much worse would your OH feel if he found out he was liable for a load of debt too?

Personally I would tell him ONCE your DMP is up and running successfully. Then you could tell him about the debt BUT ALSO tell him what your plan was for dealing with it.

Sorry if this is harsh, but I had a friend in this situation, and it made their grief all the worse
chev

richardvc

Sloppy_Saver wrote:

(sorry, a bit off subject, but I just noticed something...)



She's not the only one who respects the way you tackled your debt problem, I noticed the information panel at the bottom of your post and I'm really impressed at how much debt you've cleared so far and in such a short space of time. That must have taken an iron will. Really inspirational.

Thanks for the compliment :beer: but I owe a lot of my inspiration to the guys on these boards. I lurked for ages without posting but used loads of the freely and generously given advice and got my life together.

I will never be able to thank these people individually but collectively they have motivated me and willed me (and everyone else) to face debt, shake off the embarassment, and then get on with the serious job of tackling it.

Anyone in debt and reading this post please understand that you have taken the first and hardest step - realising that you have a problem and looking for the way to deal with it.

tinkerbell1978

my parents are aware i owe 500 of which my OH has no idea i owe and my OH knows i have a credit card debt of 500 as we needed to use it to pay the rent one month but my parents dont know about that so everyone thinks all i owe is 500 when really its double but pay it off and i will be debt free my last two debts have one small debt but that will be paid off in a couple of months which everyone knows about as i have been telling everyone im nearly there! lol my free money bingo wins have helped to get that down its great!

Sloppy_Saver

Sloppy_Saver wrote:

... neither of us have access to each others accounts and so maybe I have run up a huge debt in my account and she in hers. Thinking about it some more, maybe Pollyanna is my wife and I've just slagged myself off in an earlier posting!!!

Just shows that you can't get complacent!!

Just checked my missus's bank statement and can happily climb back onto my high horse. However, I would like to backtrack on my first post on this thread (which may have been a little hard on your husband) and put a caveat on it.

Basically, if you ran up debts to buy shoes or purses or other stuff for yourself then you should burn in hellfire for eternity. If, on the other hand, you ran up debts because you live in Tony's Britain and have to pay exhorbitant taxes (both overt and covert) to sustain the workshy and have run up debts then my original statement stands.

There, hopefully that'll have shown my soft side.

chimaeric

I make sure my other half knows about my debts, so that she helps do something about it!

Though I don't think she knows exactly how much I owe in total ...

deliciosa

Hi,

I dont have a partner but have very very close friends and I have kept it from them.. only one of them knows my debt now and not to this extend, has no idea how bad it is...

I am ashamed of it...

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Sloppy_Saver wrote:

Just checked my missus's bank statement and can happily climb back onto my high horse. However, I would like to backtrack on my first post on this thread (which may have been a little hard on your husband) and put a caveat on it.

Basically, if you ran up debts to buy shoes or purses or other stuff for yourself then you should burn in hellfire for eternity. If, on the other hand, you ran up debts because you live in Tony's Britain and have to pay exhorbitant taxes (both overt and covert) to sustain the workshy and have run up debts then my original statement stands.

There, hopefully that'll have shown my soft side.

Oh I knew you had a soft side sloppy saver! No the money definately wasn't spent on shoes or handbags, it seems a huge amount to just fritter away, but lets say if I had shares in ASDA I definately wouldn't be in debt. I just got carried away with the everyday stuff - we don't even have a social life (since well BC - before children and our eldest is 19) and my house is furnished from ebay! Also I'm guilty of seeing that credit limit as a challenge "lets see how fast I can spend it" and my god I'm a gold medal holder -lol!! Tonys' Britain is a hard place to live too!! We're definately not workshy, I've always worked, although I am a mature student now and looking for work that fits around my degree and children! Oh found work only 12 weeks after a major heart attack aged 39 (6 years ago)!! Thanks for all the thoughts - makes for an interesting read!

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

chevalier wrote:

Hi there OP
Is any of your debt in joint names? Just to be morbid and you passed away, how much worse would your OH feel if he found out he was liable for a load of debt too?

Personally I would tell him ONCE your DMP is up and running successfully. Then you could tell him about the debt BUT ALSO tell him what your plan was for dealing with it.

Sorry if this is harsh, but I had a friend in this situation, and it made their grief all the worse
chev

The debt is in my name, 1 loan and 1 cc, the od is joint but he knows about that. Plan to claim back charges amounting to a huge £2096.50, once the DMP is up and running and if successful that will clear the o/d plus some!! Giving me more in the DMP to throw at the rest! Have recently (2 wks ago) lost a 61 yr old aunt after she revealed hidden debt of over £20,000 so I know the implications, the guilt, fear, shame contributed to her untimely death (not suicide but Cdif a hospital infection killing more people than MRSA!!!) - the family reaction angers me "how could she?" etc, she owed money she hadn't killed anyone! She, like me, has no assets so all debts died with her.