Moving on...

reheat

I don't have direct experience of your situation, but some thoughts anyway, as a fellah.

I have had a few run-ins with the psycho breed, and getting them out of your life is the only real solution, nothing else works. So although it all feels pretty horrible for you, it's a very positive step.

Sure, there will be some men who won't feel suited to a ready made family, but there will others who are very happy to - it happens all the time. When you are ready for another man in your life, it probably means you will need a different dating mindset from before. You will very possibly be looking for a slightly different kind of man to when you were 18, without children.

As others have said, your ex doesn't have the rights he thinks he does, but presumed entitlement goes with the psycho territory.

Feeling rather negative is a pretty typical starting point to "moving on", just accept that it's part of the process - one of the stages you will move on from, though don't be worried if it takes a while, or comes back to bite you now and then.

And I'm sure you'll find someone in time who is good for you and your kids, though he may not have a big sign on his head advertising the fact when you first meet him . Good luck.

HRV

Hun you will meet someone eventually but take your time and enjoy you little ones. I 'took on' my OH when his girls were 1 and 3 (they live with their mum but spend a condiserable time at their dad's too. I embrace them as I would my own and try reallly hard to spend family time with them ( we also now have our own 7 month twins). OHs ex also has new partner and baby.

I would say though that if their dad is part of their lives dont try to replace him when u do meet someone. The children can have 2 loving and stable families- being young means they will hopefully find it easier to accept.

xxx

mildred1978

Don't despair! I have 2 stories for you.

My best mate had a baby with her first husband at 18, and split with him when he was about 5. After about a year she met the father of her 2nd son. The relationship was a disaster and they split when 2nd son was about 3. At 34 she met her now husband who took both sons on as if his own and is absolutely her soulmate. :T

My neighbours are a couple in their early 50s now. They moved in together about 6 years ago - with 3 of his 4 teenage children! They've has some minor ups and downs, but they are so happy together it is sickening. They have a real zest for life, and 2 of the children are still there. It's clearly a very happy home.

There is always hope