Would like your opinions please

Hanging_by_a_thread

My nan died in early December, she was a grand old age and passed away in her sleep. So although we all miss her terribly we are grateful that she led a long, happy life and didn't suffer at the end.

I was over at my mums house this morning and she handed me a little box and asked me to open it. Inside was my nans engagement ring. My mum told me that my nan had told her a long time ago, that when she passed on I was to recieve this ring, and my mum her wedding ring. I was a bit taken aback as I just assumed she would be buried wearing them.

I am very happy to have recieved this, however I am not sure of the etiquette of what I now do with it. My nan was a larger lady than I am and the ring is to big for me to wear it. Do I keep it in its box and just look at it now and again? I am not really keen on attaching it to a necklace. My grandparents were married for 52 years, very happily. Getting the ring resized is the only way I could wear it. Would this be wrong though and somehow take away from how special it is and what it represented? Even though it has been left to me, so is mine, I feel its still my nans and was given to her for such a significant reason that I shouldn't change it. What would you do?

Am filling up now, dont think I have faced how very much I miss her yet.

Odette

Firstly I am sorry to hear about your Nan but what a lovely thing to remember her life with.
I think the answer to the question is "exactly what you want to do". Your Nan gave you this to remember her by; if you want to remember her every day, figure out some way to wear it. If that doesnt feel right do something else. Just throwing out ideas but you could melt it down and have something else made?

4nnabella

Firstly, I am very sorry for your loss.

I was given a ring from my grandmother after she passed away a few years ago and, while it is more a piece of costume jewellery rather than her engagement ring, I had it resized so I could wear it. Otherwise it would have been put away and only looked at occasionally. I like wearing it, I think it is a nice way to remember someone.

shebangs

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Nicki

I think if she left it to you she would want you to wear it if that's what you'd like to do, and so would have expected you to alter it if it needed to be altered. Just like if she gave you her wedding dress, she'd have been fine if you altered it to wear on her wedding day.

The ring was special to her and given to her on a special day to show her how much our grandfather loved her. And now she has arranged for it to be given to you to show you how much she loved you. Equally special IMHO. Very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were very close.

missrlr

I was given a ring from my Nanna, get it resized if you want to wear it. I did even though I wear it for special occasions only. If you don't want to wear it, then do what you want with it.

*Redhead*

I received a piece of jewellery from my ex husbands grandma when she passed away, and like you, had smaller fingers than her.

I didn't even think twice, I had it resized that week. Even now, I still wear it as I was very fond of her.

It comes down to you though, is it something you will wear? If not, I'd either put it on a chain to wear under clothing, or leave it on display in your room.

pinkclouds

Either keep it as it is to hand down to your daughter. Or, if you don't have/want kids, then have it resized to wear or reset as a new piece of jewellery e.g. pendant, earrings, etc. Or just keep it exactly as it is and, when you want to wear it, thread it on a plain necklace tucked under your clothes. Nearly all my jewellery, bar the odd costume piece, is sentimental and reminds me of different people who either bought it or handed it down. I like to wear/handle some pieces from time to time and think of the people. Now I have kids, when they are older, I will pass it on to them. Well, mostly to my daughter I suppose! But I also have one or two bits and pieces in trust for my son. Oh, if you have a son, you could still have it recast into a "male" piece of jewellery - perhaps melting the metal down for a tie-pin and setting the gem(s) into it. You can also pass things "sideways" e.g. to a niece or goddaughter. I think it's nice to keep things "in the family", especially if you can retell some family stories in the process and keep the person's name alive.

Hanging_by_a_thread

Nicki wrote: »

The ring was special to her and given to her on a special day to show her how much our grandfather loved her. And now she has arranged for it to be given to you to show you how much she loved you. Equally special IMHO. Very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were very close.

I hadn't thought of it like that Nicki, but it is exactly the kind of thing she would do. Thank you for taking the time to give that perspective. I am feeling more at ease about the thought of having it resized now and wearing it. Not every day but on special occassions or when I just want to feel extra close to her. We had a lovely relationship, she was one in a million

Thanks to everyone else who has also left such helpful messages I do appreciate it.

Violetta_2

I can totally understand your confused feelings over this lovely gift from your nan, she has given you something so special because you were special to her & she loved you, I'm sure she would be happy for you to get it resized & wear it if you wanted to. My mum left me a ring & I had allsorts of mixed feelings over it until a family friend explained what it meant to my mum for me to have it. I had to get it resized & a few day's after I got it back I was washing my face, the diamond caught the sun & sparkled & made me think it was my mum smiling at me (I know how daft that sounds) & gave me a happy feeling.

maman

I'd definitely get it resized and wear it. It'll still be the same ring.

I have my grandmother's wedding ring passed down and I wear it instead of my own. Is that strange? I also have various rings from my mother and a particlarly lovely ruby from my great aunt. When I put them on I feel very close to them. I wore them for my (last) great aunt's funeral last spring and it felt as though my mother and her sister were coming with me. Maybe sentimental but there are lots of memories associated with some jewellery.