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Thrifty_Sister

Snap-ant wrote: »

Also found some 'How cool is this' things for £1 each

USB Drum pads

Colour changing gnome

USB message fan

[QUOTE=fourp;50936175]Is that gnome holding onto the FA Cup ?:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Can't wait to play those drums , bing bong clang ...just like the Human League over again ....I feel a song coming on and I'm gonna dance round my bag ...

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar .. ..[/QUOTE]

???????? lol:D:D:D:D:D

Gemini_Jes

Good afternoon everyone...rain here, want snow though.

czerniacha....Oil of Cloves is good for toothache...hope you can get your teeth sorted soon.


Love the exam questions and answers, reminded me of an e mail I received recently.....

IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are

things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and

published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while

the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you !!!!!!!! me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Thrifty_Sister

HappyChappy84 wrote: »

I don't want to say what I think it looks like.:o

Think we were thinking same thoughts:o:o:o:o

Thrifty_Sister

madmuppet5 wrote: »

:dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:

Cheers Mad - fingers crossed:T:T:T:T:T

blondynurse

bcw123 wrote: »

Your lucky all I got was a Self testing Bowel Cancer kit

lol that shouldn't be funny but it so is..........

streetlights

Thanks Tweet for the exam questions they did make me laugh I agree %100

tazmac25

hugs to czech - what about whisky on the sore part of your mouth? just as a rub so it wont affect the meds you are taking
Welcome to the newbies - come in and enjoy the madness here
Spiralingdown - fab news and good luck with it being the right place for you and yours
Hugs to all others who need them
xx
PS loved those lawyer jokes Gemini - thanks for that

SpiralingDown

motherbear wrote: »

Also if there are any neighbours going about have a chat with them as well.
SD I really hope that this your turning point and you can maybe change your user name to spirallingup

Well the house is the one I thought it was, only downside is a tiny alley way at the side of the house but it's not like I'll need to use it much.
I've rang the housing accociation to let them know I'm interested but because they've sent out a lot of letters they have to wait until Tuesday to see who's top of the list.
Showed DS the outside of it and he doesn't want to move there!! He wants a back garden not a front one to put his trampoline in, after all the homes we've seen without either he's now decided to pick up on this :rotfl:
I told him he can stay where he is then and have no trampoline, that I'd take the dogs and we'd have fun on his trampoline. He's worried about someone just deciding to be nasty and wrecking it on him, I understand this but we need out of where we are and soon for my sanity's sake!

DODO_2

altojack wrote: »

DH and I did Dukan last year and he lost about 5 stone in 6 months. I lost 3 but kept cheating.
Difficult at the start as you must only eat protein and Oat Bran.
We've started again as need to lose weight as we may have a wedding to go to and I am not buying any new clothes until I have dropped a size or two

Off to get my oat bran!:j

munchkinz

Hi guys I know I not been on here for ages, but I have had an e-mail from my cousin asking us to sign an e-petition in objection to the governments proposed new NHS reform bill.
He is a member of the BMA (British Medical Association), a consultant in A&E in charge of 2 London hosptitals and Head of the London Deanery overseeing A&E provision in London. As a result of his positions he has been involved in high level meetings about the reforms and lawyers involved tell him that the fine print means that the NHS will become an American style system where you need insurance to get through the hospital door or even in the ambulance.

If you don't want this please take 5 minutes to sign the e-petition.

Thanks

https://submissions.epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/22670