Mum has sudden amnesia and cant remember my dad!

Tiddlywinks

WhiteHorse wrote: »

It's a little too sudden for creeping mineral deficiency.

I'm sorry to say that a lot of doctors are too concerned with budgets. As a result, they mess around with minor tests when they should be grasping the nettle.

OP, please go back to the GP and really press the urgency of this...

My mum had a confused episode that came on suddenly - her doctor said an infection - it wasn't. Then he referred her to a memory clinic even though I kept insisting that it was a sudden change but he was very patronising and said that families often ignore or fail to see the small changes in early dementia.

Anyway, I kept pressing for a CT scan and even badgered the memory clinic into seeing us asap and finally got a cancellation. They, again, only addressed my mum's problems in "slow time" - her appointment was in November and they could only offer a CT for late January!

By then, mum was getting headaches (GP offered physio saying it was wear and tear in her neck) and had visual loss in one eye but still the GP insisted there was nothing to worry about and would not authorise any further tests.

I took mum to A&E and told them I thought she'd had a stroke - she was seen within 30 minutes and then had an assessment and was told to come in to a stroke clinic on the Friday as they agreed she met the diagnostic criteria.

The following day she had an MRI which confirmed she had a problem - unfortunately for us it was not a stroke but a brain tumour... mum died within 5 weeks of that diagnosis... and 6 weeks after her GP told her that her blood tests showed her to be healthier than him!

I do not say this to frighten you but to say that the GP cannot always be counted on to see the bigger picture - they sometimes just see an old lady and jump to conclusions without really listening to concerns.

If you do feel your mum has had a stroke (or something you feel needs urgent attention) then take her to A&E and mention the stroke protocol - she will be seen quickly and assessed by someone within this specialist area. Then, at least you will know.

GPs do the cheap stuff first and work their way up... not right but that's the way it is. They play the percentage game but sometimes that means that the unusual goes undiagnosed for longer than it should.

sleepless_saver

betsie wrote: »

and an email was sent to social services re an assessment. Does anyone know how long I can expect to wait for this and whenI need to start chasing?

I'd start chasing in a day or two with a followup phone call. Make it clear to them that your dad's main carer is someone who doesn't know who he is, both parents have health and care needs, and that the situation is urgent - they are both at risk from what you say.

Unless your area is very good, I am afraid you will need to keep pushing. And if social services form the view that you can cope without their support, then they will not provide help so take care what you commit yourself to. It's not that they don't want to help, but they don't have enough resources for everyone who asks and prioritise according to need (or in some cases who shouts loudest...)

tea_lover

I'm so sorry to hear what you're all going through, it sounds like some very difficult times all round.

I'd second the excellent advice on here to really push for some more help. GPs try their best but often you need to be the noisy, annoying one to get anywhere with them. My elderly Grandad suddenly got very confused last summer (after previously being in perfect working order). Two GPs kept saying it was just old age but it was too sudden for that. He finally saw someone else who admitted him straight to hospital with kidney failure (caused by prostate cancer). It was the kidney issues causing the confusion, and as many posters have said, UTIs and dehydration can cause these kinds of symptoms.

I hope you get some help and support sorted for them both soon - and that you have people supporting you too. Caring is probably the most difficult and underated task we can do.