bereavement

millymoomoo_2

How do people cope with bereavement. My only sister died 3 years ago tonight in a car accident and I feel just as awful as when it happened. Has anyone any words of wisdom they can share with me. I'm feeling so low at the moment. I feel like people expect me to be over it and to get on with my life.

plumduff-2

The old adage time is a great healer is definately true..

At the moment the tragedy is raw and you are bound to feel like crap... Go with the flow of your emotions is my advice - dont try to feel brave - if you want to scream and shout or cry then do it.. Dont bottle your feelings = live with them...

If you feel that you cant manage the feelings, speak to your GP, who could recomened bereavement counselling - which many people find useful..

This is not something you can a time limit on... if people expect too much from you, stay away from these people if you can... maybe they havent gone through what you are going through...

Take care of yourself in the meantime.. xxxx

Zara33

(((((((((((hugs millymoomoo)))))))))))))))

I have no words of wisdom i'm sorry.......it must be hard especially as today is the anniversary.

tumbleweed261

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and I think it's ok for you to still grieve. Clearly she was very special to you, so don't let anyone tell you that you have to have moved on by now. The worst thing you can do is bottle something like this up (I speak from a similar experience where I ended up sobbing on a lecturer!), is there anyone you can talk to about her who won't judge, just listen? I went to a counsellor and it helped no end - they're objective and so can just listen and advise without being so involved. I hope you're soon feeling yourself again, and take care of yourself.
Hugs,
tumble x

Pink_butterfly_3

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss.

Its easy for people to tell you to 'get over it' but they don't know how your feeling. Dealing with grief is never easy and you shouldn't feel wrong for still feeling low. My cousin died 8 years ago (premature birth) and it still effects my Aunt every day. The worst thing you can do is bottle it up.

Have you ever considered counselling? Sometimes it really helps to talk things over with an impartial person. Someone who will listen and not judge you in any way.

nearlyrich

Hi sorry to hear of your loss, there is a thread in Debt Free Wannabe called Stormybay's thread, I am sure you will find a warm welcome and some comfort there.

hardpressed

It's something you never truely get over, it becomes more bearable in time, but from my experience there are often things, sometimes little things that trigger it of again. Birthday, Christmas and anniversaries are difficult. As you lost your sister in an accident that is even harder. Don't beat yourself up about it, don't ever blame yourself when you do have a good day and feel happy, don't think you shouldn't be feeling happy. The dark days will pass, do whatever is right for you, don't worry about what other people think you should or shouldn't be feeling, we're all individuals. When you do feel brighter try to enjoy things for your sister as well as for yourself, she is still part of you. It will get easier, I promise you, you may sometimes have to put on a brave face, just doing that may give you extra strength to cope. There's always someone on here day or night who you can chat to.

If you feel up to it why not tell us about your sister, the sort of things you used to do together, if that is too painfully you could write it down as if you were writing to her, or write a poem, you don't need to share it with anyone if you don't want to. Sometimes just writing it down does help.

millymoomoo_2

thankyou, I feel like people expect me to be 'over it'. Most of the time I'm ok I still think about her everyday. I have a wonderful partner who understands me perfectly. Friday is crying day when I'm off work and home on my own.

bebee_2

millymoomoo wrote:

How do people cope with bereavement. My only sister died 3 years ago tonight in a car accident and I feel just as awful as when it happened. Has anyone any words of wisdom they can share with me. I'm feeling so low at the moment. I feel like people expect me to be over it and to get on with my life.

I know excatly were you are coming from , it is just over 7 months since i lost me Mum!! and to be honest i was to busy helping everyone else to cope that i forgot about myself.
Anyway cutting a long story short i had a look in the Thompson directory for Counsellors ( new the NHS would take for ever to get a appointment) and have now been seeing someone for about 9 weeks and it is helping. Not sure were you are located otherwise i could pass details on.

millymoomoo_2

OMG you're all wonderful!
She was an amazing person, she'd do anything for anyone and she had such a wicked sense of humour.
My partner met her for the first time 3 days before she died and they got on so well. I'm so glad he met her because he is the one person that I feel I can talk to about her without feeling stupid.

millymoomoo_2

p.s where's the thanks button gone?