OS Daily Friday 20th January

daisiegg

Morning (just) all

I read every day (multiple times) but get so frustrated with my laptop only letting me post messages if they are about 3 lines long or less, I have almost given up trying to reply! however I have sneakily crept onto OH's PC so I thought I'd pop in.

JG - I did say congrats when you first posted the news but wanted to say again, Eliza is just beautiful and huge congratulations!
Beth - really good news about the lumps. Glad you feel you can talk to your family about things now.
Everyone else - hope all is well and people are enjoying the Friday feeling! Hugs and best wishes where needed.

As for me, I have been having a bit of a rough time with it. I have had a permanent headache now for two weeks - it started on Friday two weeks ago. When I say permanent I mean absolutely incessant, keeping me awake at night, not responding at all to any painkillers, etc. It's in one spot at the back of my head. I have been to the GP twice and both times they sent me straight to A&E, first time was last Friday night and that was a disaster but then I ended up in A&E again on Wednesday this week and finally managed to get some clarity - the worry had been that it was a brain bleed - but they managed to rule that out although there is definite swelling in the painful area and they don't know why. Luckily OH has BUPA with work and I am on it, so I am seeing a private neurologist on Monday.

All through this everyone around me has been really worried but I have never thought there is anything seriously wrong with me...my main worry is actually that there ISN'T anything wrong with me, that they won't be able to see any cause for it, and therefore they won't be able to treat it and I will just have to keep going with this pain. I am worried sick about missing work - I have been off now for a week and a half (although I went in on Monday morning and ended up leaving after a couple of hours as I just couldn't do it). I know there are a few other teachers on this thread and you will know what I mean about the stress of being off sick - you still have to set cover work and that gets harder and harder the more time you miss, you still have to do reports etc from home, your marking just piles up and when you return there is all sorts of chaos waiting for you. All of that would be ok though if it wasn't for the huge guilt. My Year 11 are obviously my main concern as it's their GCSE year, but so far this term they have had mock exams so normal lessons have been suspended, which is great as they won't have noticed my absence - however starting on Monday, they are back into normal lessons and we need to get a controlled assessment done by Feb half term. They are very unforgiving and one of them told me at parents' evening before Christmas that she had 'given up on English because we've missed so many lessons and we're so far behind everyone else' (that was after me being absent for TWO lessons when I was on a course, and we were bang on exactly where all the other classes were). I know they will moan and blame me for not being there and just make me even more stressed. But when it comes down to it they won't take any responsibility on themselves - their worry about their teacher being absent won't actually extend to making them pay attention in class, or do their homework, or come to the extra lunchtime sessions I always run. But if they don't get the grades they want in summer, I will be the person they will blame and I will still feel sh***y about it (excuse my language)..

I just don't know what is going to happen because there is no way I can teach with my head hurting like this - you have to be on the ball, enthusiastic, talking a lot, it's noisy, bright, fast-paced...and right now I can't even watch TV or read a book or look at a computer screen for more than about 15 mins, let alone stand up and confidently lead a lesson. But I am sick with worry about missing more time. I also feel absolutely useless - I missed about a week last year when I had a bad chest infection (I have severe asthma) and now this, other people manage to not miss any time, I worry people think I am a malingerer or that I don't care when I DO care so much. I am also going stir crazy stuck at home, I can't sleep because my head wakes me up, I can't read or go online or watch TV for any length of time, I don't even feel well enough to cook or clean or do housework as a diversion.

Argh I have totally hijacked the daily thread into a daisie pity party...so sorry...I just started typing and then it all flooded out and now I am sitting here bawling buckets. Sorry...please forgive the rantings of a sleep-deprived madwoman!

Bitsy_Beans

Daisy love take a deep breath. As for work, politely remind them that education is a two way street and that you are not a miracle worker thing is all this stress can't be helping your poor brain. I hope you get some answers ASAP xxx given the lack of sleep and constant headache would be enough to reduce me to tears xxx

monnagran

Daisy: Oh you poor love. I'm a (thankfully) retired teacher and I know just where you are coming from. Guilt is part of the territory, just like it's part of motherhood and it's useless to say. "Don't feel guilty", because that's impossible.

You are in no state to bear all this awesome responsibility. How supportive is your Head of Department? If you are too ill you are too ill and that's all there is to it. It is really up to the school to provide adequate cover but I know all too well how desperate you must feel. One thing I will advise, don't be pressured by pushy parents or aggrieved students. By this stage of the year the hard work should have been done. By them! And I don't think that anything you do now is vital to their results. they must all now take responsibility for their consolidation and revision.

As to the blessed paperwork.....what are they going to do? What if you were in hospital?

Probably none of this helps but to be honest this pressure put on teachers is criminal.

Lots of love and prayers for you.

(Just a footnote - my brother was a headmaster and had to retire early because the doctor told him that if he didn't he would be dead within 6 months - due to stress! So watch it.)

esmf73

Daisy - no idea of teaching, but I know what the constant pain is like as I often have bad migraines for weeks. OUCH although I'm sure you'll have tried, please forgive me for suggesting - have you tried heat and ice? A pack of peas on the painful area? Or a flannel in HOT water? Sometimes works for me.

I also see a chiropractor who has worked miracles - my headaches are fewer and further between - which is a blessing. DS1 home from school because he was playing with what has turned out to be a fibreglass rope, and then was scratching his nether regions! So he's now itching and scratching all over the place!!! I couldn't help but laugh when I was describing this to OH! Now have done my paperwork and will prep some lunch and fold up the washing ready to put away. Have a good weekend peeps x.

jaxx46

Hi,
Just floating in with a Hi5 for Beth, more good news on this thread :j
Also hugs for those who need them, + Lou, LW, Daisiegg x
OSwise I am looking for my beef & chickpea curry recipe which I was sure I had on the lappy, have to find it soon or find something else for dinner tonight, DS has expressed an interest in helping out in the kitchen :eek: so I am going to supervise & it will be a surprise for DP when he gets in.

Take care & have a good day x

jaxx

sistercas

betheebee wrote: »

I went to the Dr last night and had the results from the biopsies of the 3 lumps removed. They were Benign, negative, all clear. DH and I felt such relief to say the least. :j:j:j:j .

:j:j:j:j:j fantastic news :T i am so pleased hopefully you can relax a bit x

daisiegg hope you get an answer from the neurologist . dont worry about work , they dont think any better of you .my DH is a teacher and has been sent home from work today ( he has had meningitis) and went back too early . he felt he had to go back with all the pressures on him . and now hes feeling really ill again . its just not worth it

redruby hope you soon feel better hon xx

just back from @sd@ and l!dl . DD1 put it all away for me :T
whoopsied meatballs, spaghetti and garlic dough balls for tea - so an easy meal

(((hugs)) to all that need xx

jools27_2

Beth-great news, bet you're relieved!
Well, have filled multiple bin bags from great aunts house, and we only sorted the clothes and bedroom cupboards today, flipping heck what a hoarder!
Slow cooker full of mince and veg and bubbling away nicely, will make doughballs later to put on top!
DS has brought himself out of his sulk, and gone to stay with MIL after college for the weekend, to do some odd jobs for her and get spoiled, at least he will be smiling.
Am dozing off here, dont know when I last had a good long sleep, so will take some bags from aunties to the charity shop, working this weekend and dont want them cluttering up the car or my house!

Islandmaid

Hi all,

Beth - fab news xxx

Lou - you sound chipper today, good on the Wii, the last time I went on one I nearly took someones eye out - coordination is not my strong point

Daisy - (((Hugs)))

Hugs to everyone else x

Today has been a pyjama day for me - I have, however, cleaned the lounge and bathroom, tackled Mount washpile, and sifted tonnes of paperwork ready to file or burn, all this whilst watching Eat,Pray,Love and the Kings Speach.

Made a cheese omlete for lunch, we,re our for a friends birthday tonight.

We went out for a meal at the local college last night, I was SO impressed with the students, so much is said about how bad teenagers are nowadays, but these kids were polite, attentive and knowledgeable about what they were serving, I am wheat intollerent, and bless ,em, they had made gluten free bread, and sauces and even a choice of adapted deserts for me - I have emailed the college to pass on my positive comments and thanks to them all.

Have a fab evening all xx

candygirl

Nowt OS to report, apart from am making veg eggfried rice later:p:pand getting OH to mop the floors and hoover, as we are having Boo over tomoz, despite tensions in the camp again:mad::mad:
Fab news on the results BETH:T:T:T
RR am laughing about little dog, my Candy would be exactly the same:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
(((huggles))) to all the poorlies and peed offs today:A:A
TRU good luck with the job hun xx;):D

nannygladys

Hi everyone
Sorry to hear that some people are feeling poorly and I hope you feel better very soon

Been at work today and for the next three days, so up at the crack of dawn and feeling really tired now, an early night is in order I think. At least its busy so time goes quickly and you dont have time to feel tired until you get home and sit down:)

Havent done much OS today, dinner is on top of the stove bubbling away and the heating is on so house is nice and cosy, its been raining here all day but is still cold:(

Going to have a look at the dinner incase it needs any attention
Jxx