wedding ring woes and arthritic joints

edited 18 January 2012 at 7:45PM in Over 50s MoneySaving
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[Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
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edited 18 January 2012 at 7:45PM in Over 50s MoneySaving
I have had my wedding ring on my finger for 41 years and have never taken it off and that was my mistake. I knew my finger joint was getting bigger and that my ring was getting snug but I shrugged it off. Last week, I realised that I had no spare capacity for finger swelling due to any cause and in panic mode, I tried to remove my ring. I used vaseline, washing up liquid, hair conditioner and the method with string but in no way was it budging and in fact I found it scary as my finger joint was swelling. My ring is gold and about .9 cm wide and my fingers are short

I could not bear the idea of having to cut it off so I thought I would have one more try. I resisted any further attempts for 3 days and I read everything I could on google. Last try this morning and I got a small bag of frozen home grown and sliced runner beans and I wrapped it around my finger, while keeping it elevated. I placed a bowl in the sink and had hair conditioner handy. Then I put conditioner on and turned and turned gently as I could while forcing the turns away from my hand. It became sore to do but almost on the joint and white I asked dh to turn and pull. Well he couldn`t do it, said he was worried about taking my finger off so I sent him for wd40 and carried on. It hurt but eventually it worked before he came back

So now I have my small ring, from age 22 and I don`t know what to do. My finger is healing and I have a ring mark, which will take some time to go. What would you do now? shall I wait a month or so and then get it made bigger? I am scared to have this happen again and have ordered a cheap adjustable ring for now. If it is made bigger it will need to go easily over the joint and then it will be loose on my finger so is there a solution?

If I could do anything in the past, it would have been to check that I could remove my ring from time to time. My fingers have changed a lot since I was a 22 year old

What would you do now?


  • Newly_retiredNewly_retired Forumite
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    I don't know the answer but I would have the same difficulty getting mine off as my joints are swollen.
    My mum was the same and she went to her grave with her narrow wedding ring still on.
    I do recall when I was little that she had a wasp sting which made her hand and arm swell up and she had to have an injection to get it to subside.
    I think it did so before things got too bad but she was told she would have to have the ring cut off if necessary.

    Hardly any of my other rings fit me now and I am thinking of getting them resized at the jewellers.
    I guess I could do the same as you and get my rings off when my hands are really cold, then get them resized as well, but keep taking them off to make sure I still can.
    To stop it slipping off, could you wear another one above the wedding ring which is easier to get on an off? ( Not sure if that makes sense)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
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    newly retired, thanks for replying. I am still in such a state of relief, I felt really scared after seeing my finger getting bluer the other day and realising how very stuck my ring was. I have the indentation 12 hours later and I think it is going to take a month of healing. I am just so grateful that I got it off. I have decided to order an adjusting open ring for now but I am going to think hard about what to do later.

    I am certainly going to suggest to my daughters that they check their wedding rings for time to time
  • scotsbobscotsbob Forumite
    4.6K Posts
    Just a thought, American teens in the 50s had this idea.


    I also recall my mother once told me that nurses in the UK had to do the same for good hygeine.

    Like I say, just a thought.
  • You could either wear the ring on your little finger (if it fits) or alternatively put it on a gold chain around your neck. After all, your marriage seems pretty safe and you don't really need the ring on your finger to remind you that you are a happily married woman. And the neighbours probably won't even notice its absence and even if they do, they won't start gossiping too much!
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
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    I was advised to have my engagement ring a better fit than my wedding ring, so it kept my wedding ring snug in the early days.

    I've had to get mine off a few times, used the cotton trick when my fingers really swelled in New York!

    I think I'd either wear it on my little fnger, if it fitted well there, or get a chain, but I don't know if your knuckles will swell more. If not, then I'd definitely get it re-sized, a plain ring shouldn't be hard to do.
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • edited 22 January 2012 at 3:40PM
    Marmaduke123Marmaduke123 Forumite
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    edited 22 January 2012 at 3:40PM
    I had the same problem with my wedding ring, it was anyway very tight after 40yrs, then I had a fall and hurt my hand, and my finger swelled up a lot. Foolishly, it never occured to me to take my ring off before the swelling came up!

    It took well over a year before the joint swelling went down enough for me to get the ring off again, and I'd almost reached the stage where I thought I would have to have it cut off. I'd learned my lesson and took it to the jewellers to be resized. It's not loose on my finger now, but I can easily get it off, and I take it off briefly several times a day just to be sure!

    My sister, who has arthritis, has worn hers on a chain for many years. It's a good solution if that's the reason your joints are swelling.
  • Oooops, my problem is just the opposite. Have had to have a new wedding ring recently because of weight loss. I don't intend for this to come off at all, though, and both DH and I intend for our wedding rings to go to the grave with us. Like my Grandad said when Granny died and someone wanted to take her ring off: 'It's hers, it stays with her'.
    [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Æ[/FONT]r ic wisdom funde, [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]æ[/FONT]r wear[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]ð[/FONT] ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
  • Whenever I get very hot I simply swell up and everything that normally fit including rings cuts in. After developing osteoarthritis which affects my hands and gaining weight I rmoved my wedding ring and wore a bigger one my husband had spare- he lost his original ring gardening and we subsequently bought matching narrow ones.

    After I subsequently lost 4 stones my knuckle stayed stubbornly big so I had both wedding & engagement rings resized. I still remove my ring every evening as sleeping in the ring seems to lead to waking up with a swollen finger & it's extremely difficult to get off.

    Wearing it only during the day seems to work well for me but it IS a nuisance being like this!
  • joyfulljoyfull Forumite
    861 Posts
    On this subject, can I ask a very delicate question. My apologies in advance if this seems insensitive, but I do wonder about it!

    When someone dies and their rings are firmly wedged onto their fingers who removes them and how is it done?
    "Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
  • chesky369chesky369 Forumite
    2.6K Posts
    Lots of people are buried with their rings on - don't know about cremation though.
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