Nice people thread part 5 - nicely does it

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Oh gen. I'm sorry.

Thanks LIR as long as it wasn't you that gave her pneumonia. I suspect you're in the clear on that one unless you've been hanging out in old peoples' homes in the East Midlands for the last couple of weeks coughing on old ladies.

She caused Daddy Generali a lot of pain and I never forgave her for that, although he did near the end of his life, so I'm stuck with these mixed feelings about an ok-ish if doolally lady who did some pretty rotten things 60-70 years ago.

It doesn't help that I can't really go to the funeral. I think the intensity of the emotions that you get at a funeral would sort of make up my mind about things.

I feel a bit like I did when my pet died when I was a kid: kinda guilty for not feeling sadder.

I'm going to go out for a big ride this w/e I think, try to get 100km off road under my belt, that'll get me thinking about things. I think best when I'm cycling.

silvercar

Generali wrote: »

Thanks LIR as long as it wasn't you that gave her pneumonia. I suspect you're in the clear on that one unless you've been hanging out in old peoples' homes in the East Midlands for the last couple of weeks coughing on old ladies.

She caused Daddy Generali a lot of pain and I never forgave her for that, although he did near the end of his life, so I'm stuck with these mixed feelings about an ok-ish if doolally lady who did some pretty rotten things 60-70 years ago.

It doesn't help that I can't really go to the funeral. I think the intensity of the emotions that you get at a funeral would sort of make up my mind about things.

I feel a bit like I did when my pet died when I was a kid: kinda guilty for not feeling sadder.

I'm going to go out for a big ride this w/e I think, try to get 100km off road under my belt, that'll get me thinking about things. I think best when I'm cycling.

Sorry to hear this. From what you wrote, she outlived her son, which is something difficult to cope with, so she too had her suffering.

Generali

silvercar wrote: »

Sorry to hear this. From what you wrote, she outlived her son, which is something difficult to cope with, so she too had her suffering.

By about 5 years. He died of Alzheimers in his 60s. She made it to 92 and 1 day.

I certainly never wished any pain on her, mental or physical. I simply didn't like her very much for what she did to my Dad.

Generali

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

Our company is absolutely terrible for this. Projects require massive amounts of manual data collation from different places on our intranet.

It's been driving me to distraction lately. Such an incredible waste of time.

There has to be a better way.:(

Can you use Excel to interrogate the Intranet? If not, can you get the way your Intranet to be set up differently so that it can be interrogated?

To use the feature, go to Data>>>Import External Data>>>New Web Query.

Your time (or that of your reports) might be better used to make a business case for doing things differently rather than doing them badly.

In the UK I used to say that I was prepared to work hard to be lazy. I always ended up working far more hours than my peers for a few months in a new role, automating as much of it as I could, and then working fewer as I didn't have to do nearly as much administrative crud.

At one place I wrote a macro that ran slowly by putting little pauses into it to give me the time to get a cuppa and surf the web for a few minutes while a process that used to take an hour or two when done manually ran.:D

John_Pierpoint

Generali wrote: »

Old Granny Generali died last weekend leaving me with very equivocal feelings and I don't really know what to do about it.

Is this an unexpected tragedy?

Are you feeling helpless and useless being stuck on the other side of the world?

Is it just not being able to say good bye.....

Edit: I think you have answered most of those questions in your subsequent postings.

Do you now feel 10 years older?

[Of there are any practical situations that need advice, there are several helpful people on this forum, as Granny was living in the UK]

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

By about 5 years. He died of Alzheimers in his 60s. She made it to 92 and 1 day.

I certainly never wished any pain on her, mental or physical. I simply didn't like her very much for what she did to my Dad.

I felt similar emotions with my maternal grandmother. Although sometimes i really did wish her ill.

When pain is inflicted by those meant to protect and love those they hurt it leads to terrible conflict of emotions and the impact is still felt...well, ime, generations on.

Kiss the generalissimos and know you would not do this and be glad your parents broke a cycle.....and brought up a wonderul man.

zagubov

I'm sorry to hear your news , generali. i've lost all my grandparents. When my gran died I was on holiday and couldn't be reached when the funeral happened but I paid my respects later.

Most of the feelings we have about that relate to our parents and how they are affected.

Fortunately both my parents are in reasonably good health, but we can't take good health for granted even in ourselves.

Stay well, everybody.

Generali

I didn't have Grandfathers as such although the recently deceased had a 3rd husband who was my Grandad until I was an adult.

Apart from that, both genetic Grandfathers left or were booted out by their wives (details are unclear) during or shortly after WWII and my maternal Granny died when I was 3.

lostinrates

zagubov wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear your news , generali. i've lost all my grandparents. When my gran died I was on holiday and couldn't be reached when the funeral happened but I paid my respects later.

Most of the feelings we have about that relate to our parents and how they are affected.

Fortunately both my parents are in reasonably good health, but we can't take good health for granted even in ourselves.

Stay well, everybody.

I've lost all mine too. A Few years ago now. The thing is of course, mine were old enough to be great gaprand parents really, because my parents were older. Grandparents can be so terribly important in families. I already know if i had a child my mothers relationship with it would be, for exame, different to her relationship with her granddaughters who are now, young women. . When i wasa kid and people talked about the things they did with grandparents i felt keenly aware those were things my own parents had barely enough energy to do. All my paternal grandparents...to whom i was closer, did, was have a cup of tea and cake. Going over the road for lunch at the pub was a huge effort. My maternal family were more energetic, but then.....the devil makes work for idle hands, and chances were they new the devil rather well:p. Fwiw, i also knew and was taught to waltz by my my great, great, great (i think) uncle when i was about eight opr nine and he was 104 or five. He lived a bit longer too. He outlived four children and was cared for by two of his, who had outlived their spuses and in one case their children too.

LydiaJ

Gen, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find your way through the confusing maze of feelings about her - don't be surprised if it takes a while.