Big difference in earnings - does this matter?

doodoot

OP, advise your OH to visit some open days at local colleges or Universities.

My OH was an executive chef for over 20 years and then enrolled on a multimedia and website design degree course - he knows that he's too old to get into the industry but he's very artistic and finds website design is another string to his artistic bow.

He's now teaching our 14 year old how to be a program coder...am fed up hearing about fireworks, php and mysql! :rotfl:

bill_creative

Thanks again all. Saturnalia - that definitely is a great way to put it.

We met when I tripped over his foot in a bar (I may have been a little tipsy ) and he grabbed me to stop me from falling flat on my face, so you never know when you will meet your perfect guy - hopefully you will meet yours soon too.

How funny Doodoot, my OH is a chef too - it's frustrating that they have to work so long and hard for comparatively little return - especially when they are so talented. It's a great idea to get him to go to an open day... I have an OU prospectus as I wanted to do a course (but unfortunately don't have the time to commit right now), so I'll get him to take a look at that too.

bylromarha, he does invoice me for the work he does for tax reasons - but only from recently as I was worried that it may be suspicious for the HMRC - but hey, if politicians do it, it must be ok, eh?

Mojisola

In any relationship where one person earns much more than the other, it's especially important that wills are made and other inheritance issues are looked at - nominating the partner in pensions and insurance policies, etc.

bill_creative

Mojisola wrote: »

In any relationship where one person earns much more than the other, it's especially important that wills are made and other inheritance issues are looked at - nominating the partner in pensions and insurance policies, etc.

Good point Mojisola, we did draw up wills just after we got married. We also have an insurance policy that will pay him a yearly amount if anything happens to me, which is good for my peace of mind.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

bill_creative wrote: »

Thanks again all. Saturnalia - that definitely is a great way to put it.

We met when I tripped over his foot in a bar (I may have been a little tipsy ) and he grabbed me to stop me from falling flat on my face, so you never know when you will meet your perfect guy - hopefully you will meet yours soon too.

How funny Doodoot, my OH is a chef too - it's frustrating that they have to work so long and hard for comparatively little return - especially when they are so talented. It's a great idea to get him to go to an open day... I have an OU prospectus as I wanted to do a course (but unfortunately don't have the time to commit right now), so I'll get him to take a look at that too.

bylromarha, he does invoice me for the work he does for tax reasons - but only from recently as I was worried that it may be suspicious for the HMRC - but hey, if politicians do it, it must be ok, eh?

Could he not teach at post 16 level?

conradmum

bill_creative wrote: »

Thanks so much for the replies - it's fascinating how much empathy you can get from strangers - 100% of the responses so far agree that there isn't a problem and yet at least 50% of my friends and family have commented on him not working more. I don't even discuss our financial affairs with anyone, but they know he is most often at home, not working... Maybe I do need to be even more ambiguous about our set up as Iristhedragon suggests - but it sometimes feels like I'm being forced into leading a *secret* life.

My parents are retired business owners and we often discuss finance/investment options etc so the subject of respective incomes sometimes does come up. I massively appreciate the value of their experience, so I don't want to cut that out altogether either. Funnily enough, although my Dad earn't a large share of their income, my Mum has always managed the finances and given him 'pocket money' each week - she still does

I have had more than one "friend" comment that he is just with me for my money... which does wonders for your confidence (not), even though my head knows full well that is b*llocks.

!

I think your friends and family are quite rude to comment on your financial arrangements in this way. I've never passed comment on other's arrangements, and in fact, don't know what most of my friends' and family's are! It isn't any of my business what they do and I'm sure if they want my opinion they'll ask for it.

conradmum

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Could he not teach at post 16 level?

You have to be qualified (as a teacher, I mean) these days.