Big difference in earnings - does this matter?

bill_creative

doodoot wrote: »

When my OH was a full time student and I was working I was always getting comments and raised eyebrows, yet those voices went very quiet when we swapped over. ..idiots.:rotfl:

That was another idea that we had - for him to retrain in another field, but he can't decide what to go for. I feel for him - it is hard with so much choice these days! Funnily enough, one of the comments came from a friend who is currently supporting her OH through study. But their set up is fine and he will "pay her back" when he finishes. I find the concept of being in debt to you OH very strange...

Lotus-eater

bill_creative wrote: »

I find the concept of being in debt to you OH very strange...

As do many of the people on here.
I think you seem to be handling it very well and thoughtfully, there is no one way to run a life and you do each bit the way you think best.

faerie~spangles

My son and his partner live abroad, she is more qualified than him (has better earning potential) therefore when they decided to start a family it was decided that he become the stay at home parent. Childcare costs are prohibitive.

Not exactly traditional but it works for them.

belfastgirl23

Well I think in picking up so much of the stuff around the house, he is enabling you to work the 100+ hours a week so he is making a contribution to the household in a different way. If you were carrying half of the household chores you could never put in that amount of time at work, or not without seriously challenging your sanity anyway. If the arrangement suits both of you I don't see why it's anyone's business.

Janey3

As others have said, if it's working for you, that's great. I feel the friends who are commenting about him and his working, are rude - how do they know that he hasn't got a private income from somewhere? I'd have kept my own counsel regarding my financial situation to my friends and kept 'em guessing!

Lotus-eater

bill_creative wrote: »

I'm a designer. He is actually a WAY better artist than me and we have tried this a couple of times... however me being his "boss" and having to tell him what to do doesn't sit brilliantly with him (we're as stubborn as each other). I don't blame him, I would probably be the same - but we are working on how to make this work better, it is a good idea. He has taught himself how to use a programme that I can't (be bother to learn how to) use, so he is doing some of that instead of me paying a contractor. We (he) have just finished converting our cellar into a studio space (man cave ) for him, so he will have more free time to work on this more.

It doesn't have to be your actual work, accounts, records, anything he could do to take the pressure off you.

bylromarha

Pay wise, in September I returned to full time work after a 7 yr maternity leave The return to work was always on the cards. During that time I built up an ebay business.

However, 6 months prior to my work return, OHs business that had been our income over the majority of those 7 years fell flat, and our roles have been completely reversed. OH now packs us off out the door, then gets on with looking after the home and packing and posting. I earn the wonga.

Both of us are very happy and secure in this change round as we are both happy in secure in our relationship. Equal partners, all we have we share.

bill_creative wrote: »

I'm a designer. He is actually a WAY better artist than me and we have tried this a couple of times... however me being his "boss" and having to tell him what to do doesn't sit brilliantly with him (we're as stubborn as each other). I don't blame him, I would probably be the same - but we are working on how to make this work better, it is a good idea. He has taught himself how to use a programme that I can't (be bother to learn how to) use, so he is doing some of that instead of me paying a contractor. We (he) have just finished converting our cellar into a studio space (man cave ) for him, so he will have more free time to work on this more.

Just wondered if your OH is in such a low paid industry whether it is worth you properly contracting him into your business as the income you pay him for the work he does may work out for you better tax wise?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

bylromarha wrote: »

Pay wise, in September I returned to full time work after a 7 yr maternity leave The return to work was always on the cards. During that time I built up an ebay business.

However, 6 months prior to my work return, OHs business that had been our income over the majority of those 7 years fell flat, and our roles have been completely reversed. OH now packs us off out the door, then gets on with looking after the home and packing and posting. I earn the wonga.

Both of us are very happy and secure in this change round as we are both happy in secure in our relationship. Equal partners, all we have we share.



Just wondered if your OH is in such a low paid industry whether it is worth you properly contracting him into your business as the income you pay him for the work he does may work out for you better tax wise?

Might make him a bit more marketable to other people as well.

Saturnalia

If the set-up works for you both, why worry? OH is contriuting to the household in ways other than money so he is pulling his weight and it sounds like you are both happy that way, so laugh in the faces of the doubters and don't let them crack a solid partnership! It's what I believe a relationship should be - each contributes to it according to their strengths, each supports according to joint need. I'm quite envious actually, your coupledom sounds like what I've spent many years trying to find!

Mojisola

Saturnalia wrote: »

If the set-up works for you both, why worry? OH is contriuting to the household in ways other than money so he is pulling his weight and it sounds like you are both happy that way, so laugh in the faces of the doubters and don't let them crack a solid partnership! It's what I believe a relationship should be - each contributes to it according to their strengths, each supports according to joint need. I'm quite envious actually, your coupledom sounds like what I've spent many years trying to find!

This is one of those posts that I'd like to "thank" multiple times - very well put!