How to stop feeling sorry for mysyself

hostertlady

loztredders wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words everyone, I think it may be a mix of january blues and just wanting some changes in my life tbh.
I'd love to exercise but I do running and at the moment have very sore knees from doing too much so I have to take it easy for a bit, I think this may be contributing to my mood, since I love to run and always feel really calm and good about myself after :j
Roll on summer though! My sister and I have booked a holiday, so at least I have something great to look forward to now :cool:

see i told you that you would feel better sharing with us....
it's good to talk....
also take some vitamins...
and you are in charge of your life......only you can change it....:)

belfastgirl23

Well of all the things you identify, the one you can easiest do something about is the state of your house. I'd recommend looking at Flylady for inspiration and support. I know it's a bit hokey and american in places but the basic advice is really sound and encouraging and it breaks housework down into small tasks to do every day. I don't do all of it (the thought of cleaning the bathroom every day exhausts me) but I've taken and adapted the principles where they work for me. http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/

meritaten

you sound depressed to me - not just having the blues, but maybe clinically depressed. I would go along and talk to your GP hun. If you cannot be bothered with keeping house and everything in your life is troubling you this way - I think you may need a little help.

thatgirlsam

Don't feel guilty for feeling down, of course there is always someone worse off but every pain is valid and you shouldn't have to measure how you feel against others misery

I think you need some to find some motivation from somewhere, and everyones different.. so maybe it could be cleaning one room at a time.. feeling good about that could give you the motivation to clean another etc

I know that when my house gets a bit messy it makes me feel a bit out of control and affects other areas of my life

Take tiny steps to make yourself feel better... have a pamper night or watch a movie you love etc

zaksmum

I have a friend who's just buried her 3 year old son. If you could speak to her you'd soon start counting your blessings and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

pukkamum

zaksmum wrote: »

I have a friend who's just buried her 3 year old son. If you could speak to her you'd soon start counting your blessings and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Although this is very tragic and awful i really don't think it is helpful to the op after all we all know of someone worse off than ourselves but it doesn't always make us feel better.

OP i would start doing some walking, i had a down period recently, lots of family illness house a mess etc, i have started walking again and after my first walk i immediately felt better and it gave me the incentive to tackle the house as i know the house being a mess puts me on a serious downer, after all sitting, sleeping and eating in messy rooms is very depressing.

I try and do 15 mins of clearing every 2 hours or so that i am home and slowly but surely i am getting there again, when i feel down i go into the most recently cleared and cleaned room and it gives me a lift.

aliasojo

zaksmum wrote: »

I have a friend who's just buried her 3 year old son. If you could speak to her you'd soon start counting your blessings and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I'm genuinely surprised you wrote this. I can only assume that since it's a friend you are talking about, you feel the loss too and that has shaped your reply.

OP, we all have our own issues to deal with, they are not relative to anyone else's and you don't need to consider a sliding scale of misery when thinking about how you feel.

I can sympathise with you, it's pretty rubbish when you feel low like this and it's difficult to get motivation from anywhere to try to change things.

My OH prised me off the couch yesterday to go for a walk. I grumbled loudly about how I couldn't be faffed but I felt so much better after I'd gone. Maybe you could try walking more, as has been suggested? That said, I only went because I was forced to, I have no motivation of my own right now.

I do think we all need a serious blast of nice warm sunshine. :undecided

aliasojo

pukkamum wrote: »

...... when i feel down i go into the most recently cleared and cleaned room and it gives me a lift.

I'd have to go sit in the downstairs loo. It's the only place that's tidy at the mo'. :D

FBaby

you suffer from 'demotivation', because you are finding yourself having to give more efforts than you are getting rewards. That's totally normal and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it. You are not lazy, you are focussing your effort in light of the energy you have

Honestly, give yourself some time. At the moment, getting over your ex is probably taking a lot out of you. Add the issue with work, the time of the year etc... and you are just not at that stage of being full of plans and desire to better your life. It's ok to let yourself be lazy for some time, it is actually quite comforting when you let yourself emerge in it. What matters is that you don't end up stuck in it. I would give myself a week, 2 weeks, a month, whatever you consider acceptabe, and either you will start feeling better yourself through resting, or if not, then it will be time to kick yourself and make changes in your life to make it happen.

vintagebrighton

zaksmum wrote: »

I have a friend who's just buried her 3 year old son. If you could speak to her you'd soon start counting your blessings and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Although tragic that really won't help the OP in any way except to make her feel worse for feeling down!

My daughter suffers a chronic condition but gets through every day with grit and determination helped by a good dose of steroids. As a result, she's very intolerant of people who have a cold, or a bug and can't come into work...... she's a manager and I suspect people are very wary of her.

I only say that because even I won't say to her when I'm feeling ill or down...... but really, how can you measure how something effects others. How can we measure our feelings against how others are feeling? That's the equivalent of saying 'eat up your dinner there's starving children in Africa'....... totally irrelevant to our own hunger and just stirs up feelings of guilt and ingratitude. Since when were those feelings helpful (except in the Catholic church )

Do little things OP and the big things will follow.... you need a boost. But of course, if you don't feel better despite trying to make changes then see your GP. Hope you feel better soon