How to stop feeling sorry for mysyself

loztredders

Lately I've been feeling really damn miserable anad can't seem to snap out of it, as really, I know my life isn't so bad and I should really be happier with what I've got but here's what's getting me down
Finished with my ON/OFF partner of five years and can't stop thinking about him and beginning to get over him even though there's no chance of going back there, he's made it pretty clear he doesn't care about me as much as I do him.

Work is stressing me out as I am having to work twice as hard as my colleauge will not do any thing without vigorous prompting resulting in me often being ignored for the rest of the day, as she's in a strop at having to do some actual work.

I feel like I don't fit in with my friends, I have two main groups of mates, one group is settling down, marrying and kids etc and the other just want to drink every night and just party constantly, I'm not into that anymore and plus it's an obscene amount of money to be spending on booze.

I am getting braces next week as I have suffered low self esteem about my croooked teeth since I was about 15, and while I cant wait for this I am also nervous that I'm going to look really awful with ugly betty braces and it may give me even worse confidence issues.

My house is a mess, as I can't be bothered to clean it - I am lazy, this one is entirely my own fault
and I just generally feel like I'm stuck in a rut and don't know what to do to help myself!
Also, I then feel guilty for feeling down, when I know that there are people who have it far worse than me - in fact apologies to people reading this who are thinking something along the lines of "get over it silly girl" etc, but I genuinly am struggling right now.

fruitycar

loztredders wrote: »

Lately I've been feeling really damn miserable anad can't seem to snap out of it, as really, I know my life isn't so bad and I should really be happier with what I've got

My house is a mess, as I can't be bothered to clean it - I am lazy, this one is entirely my own fault
and I just generally feel like I'm stuck in a rut and don't know what to do to help myself!
Also, I then feel guilty for feeling down, when I know that there are people who have it far worse than me.

ditto
sorry not any help to you, I hate the January blues

hostertlady

i think you might just be feeling a bit better now

when i get down in the dumps i call a friend and we have a bloody good chat and i off load everything and for some reason i feel better for sharing...
write down a list in no particular order and try and tick them off as you do them..
the housework will always be there and so to me it isnt majorly important but you may feel a whole lot better once you can get on top of things...
good luck and i hope you are feeling better...

it's good to talk

allison_white99

Just a case of Seasonal affective disorder, I'm sure you'll snap out of it. Go for a run, trust me, you'll feel great. I was in a dark place in December and felt pretty much like you, but since the beginning of this year, I decided to do things to make my self feel good. I've run almost every day, I've had a body massage at the local college which is incredibly cheap for some good pampering, I've started baking every weekend etc ect. All these little things matter and will lift you up.

desert_rose

Get one of those SAD lamps. Sounds to me very much like seasonal affective disorder and its a real downer this time of year. The lamps do make a difference and a boost of vitamin c wouldn't hurt either while you're about it.

If you can push yourself to give the house a good going over both the exercise and the sense of achievement to say nothing of having the pleasure of relaxing in a well ordered environment will spur you on to take control of other aspects of your life too.

Sounds to me as if you're at a stage in life where you're ready to make significant changes - friends, work, social life - and need to get to a place (mentally) where change for the better has a positive chance of actually happening.

Don't give in to feelings of wanting the ex back though. I did that years ago when like you, I was in a very down phase in my life and I lived to regret it big time!

Its time to move on.

BitterAndTwisted

Are you feeling a bit glum or is it more serious than that? I know when you're in the middle of it it's sometimes not easy to have a good perspective on it all.

January is my least favourite months: Christmas over with, still long dark nights and spring so very far away. SAD is a possibility.

Being really fed up is possibly your mind's way of telling you that there's a need for change in your life. Which would you like it to be?

That lazy bint at work needs to be tackled. Or at least, you need to ask for some support so you can both get on with what you need to do. It you could both be considered as failing. Perhaps that's the first thing you could have a think about getting something constructive achieved? A task done, especially a moderately challenging one can be a huge confidence-booster.

Brisk walking, or any exercise even if you're not flogging your guts out at the gym is so very good for you and will give you a lift.

lollipopsarah

oh the january blues - horrid.
it will get better - honest.
can I send you a *huggle*
xx

Peater

Set yourself some goals and work towards them. Keeps you occupied.

universalady_2

know how you feel, been there, and just starting to seethe light at the end of the tunnel. Exercise does help, as does talking to someone. Always worth making an appointment with your GP, even if it's just to offload

poppyolivia

YAY for the braces, I had train tracks for 3 years or something just got them off in 2010 (I think lol)....TOTALLY worth it....I was called Ugly Betty but its all banter, I have the same glasses as her too.....ya....sexy!lol...I'm 36 next week and feel the best I have EVER!

loztredders

Thanks for the kind words everyone, I think it may be a mix of january blues and just wanting some changes in my life tbh.
I'd love to exercise but I do running and at the moment have very sore knees from doing too much so I have to take it easy for a bit, I think this may be contributing to my mood, since I love to run and always feel really calm and good about myself after :j
Roll on summer though! My sister and I have booked a holiday, so at least I have something great to look forward to now :cool: