Son to pay board

Decluttering

I pay 20% of my salary, it can be good if for some reason I don't get paid as much as I anticipate but sometimes I wish there was a set amount for me to pay so I could set up a standing order or really benefit from doing overtime.

One of my colleagues told me that she used to pay 25% to her parents and although she wasn't aware of it at the time, they were saving that money towards her wedding.

C_Mababejive

At least £50 pw would be reasonable..it really depends on the total household needs.

borkid

Gosh all the comments make me feel really mean. When my son was due to leave uni ( we'd paid everything fees mantainance so he had no debts) he didn't seem to be looking for work. We pointed out that he could have a couple of months grace but then we were going to charge him the going rent for his room ( he had 2 rooms and bathroom all to himself and phone which we paid for and internet connection). We would share the food bills and all the cooking/ cleaning etc around the house. he didn't know we had planned to save ALL the money he paid and give it to him when he needed it. Within a month he had found himself a job and a flat share with a friend so it didn't arise.

When he was 24 he managed to get a mortgage and bought a small flat in London, we gave him the deposit. We always help him out with loans (only needed 2 to tied him over), interest free and he always paid them back on time.

I think of him as an adult not a child and as an adult he has pride in that he can pay his way. Same with my daughter once working full time she always supported herself and never lived at home. Now her circumstances have changed and money is tight so we help her out ( gifts) but have to be very careful as she is very independant and doesn't want to take from us so we just say its her inheritance come early.

The hardest part of being a parent is letting go, letting your child become independant. Part of paying their own way in life is all part of growing up and gaining this independance.

mandragora_2

OP - I think they should pay board, and, as you've asked, my son (aged 23) is on about the same sort of wage as you lad. He pays £200 a month, though he had a few months' grace as he'd struggled to get f/t, permanent work on leaving uni. Both my OH and I work full time, and everything we earn has always been 'thrown into the pot' to run the house/bring up the kids. Now he's an adult, I think it would only cause resentment for us two to be working and paying for everything still while he keeps 100% of his wages. He's had his way through uni paid, and has now less than £1000 of loan to pay off. He also owes us about £900, so as the money comes in, he doesn't know it, but it's also knocking that tally down. If there's a suprlus when he leaves home, it will be set aside and he'll have an unexpected windfall to put down a deposit. I'd agree that the trick is to get them to set up a standing order/direct debit to do it, but we haven't succeeded there yet. Next payday, I promise myself I'll get him to get on and do it! As adults, it helps them to take responsibilty. You may be lucky enough to be able to set it aside for them for later, but if not, then that's because you need it to help run the household. Seems equitable to me - I'd LOVE to have about £700 a month to spend on whatever I fancied! He works with his older brother who, on not very much more money is raising a family. I think they've had a talk, and that secretly he knows he's well off under the arrangement.

Nine_Lives

IMO as has been said, it depends on a few things:

If you're hard up & need the money for the household to keep afloat then that changes things.

If you're not in such a situation, then what happens at home here is that as i'm happy to save hard for moving out, my mum helps me out by charging less. I earn about £250-£300 a week yet i pay £25 board per week.
My dad always said that we should all pay up 1/3 of our wage, but my mum never did that as it was her who dealt with the board.
My brother who piddles his wages into a drain every weekend ends up paying a bigger percentage because if it's going to be stuck down a drain, it may as well go to some real use.

BigMoneyMaker wrote: »

Nothing!!...

I wont be charging my kids any money for board, you charge lodgers to stay in your home not your family, specially if they are only earnin 220 a week, i suppose it is different if you are hard up and strapped for cash though.

BMM

In which case you'll not be teaching your kids anything and will actually be harming them in later life.

I'm at home with my folks and i pay. Not as much as many, but i pay. They need to get into the swing of things & see "rent" going out regular for when they finally move so that REAL rent isn't as much of a shock to the system.

You don't even need to pocket it if you feel you can't properly take money from your kids. Open up a bank account & put the board money in it. Don't tell them (otherwise it'll defeat the purpose), and then when they come to move, say here you go, here's all your board money back, i just wanted to teach you what paying rent was like. :T

Optimop wrote: »

None, you earn a lot more than him, you decided to have him, dont be evil. Poor kid.

So blind for your first post. Clearly not seeing the bigger picture.

System

Our daughter gave her Dad £30 a week on a wage of £250 and she resented every penny.

He did let her off with the final 5 months though when she and her boyfriend bought their house as they didnt move in for 5 months and as well as paying the mortgage they were also doing it up.

Janeyferr

I finished university a few years ago. Got £20k+ debt from it. I have to live with my parents now.

My brother also lives here. He earns £40k a year. He pays them £300 a month room and board. He does nothing to help in the home otherwise.

I earn £400 a month in the only job I've managed to secure, which is part time. This just about covers managing debt I got as a student. My parents don't ask for any payment for board but I get a lot of aggro if I don't maintain the level of housework I do, which is 80% of the cookery and 60% of the cleaning. I also take my mother to do weekly shop using my car, as well as fetching and carrying to everyone's whim.

My family tell me that I have the better deal.

burnlyf

I work 15 hours a week at minimum wage and I pay £100 a month board, the Virgin Media bill, buy all the food/litter for 3 cats and pay unexpected vet bills ect.

I'd make him pay board, about £25 p/week.

LynV

I would like to start by thanking all the constructive people that have replied. But for the ones that have been a bit nasty I thought I would just explain my reasons for asking son to pay board. I have so far on a wage of £120 not taken a penny from him. This arrangement starts with his new wage first week in February. My husband has not worked for over 2 years since he suffered a stroke. This has left him with short term memory loss and scrambled long term memory. I work as a non teaching assistant in a local school for £12,000 a year. He has some benefits and a couple of small pensions coming in. We have a mortgage to pay, a loan to pay, gas and electric, water, council tax, food bills plus anything else that falls on our mat. Our other son is still at uni and has no income. I hope that explains why I asked the question in the first place!

smileigh

LynV wrote: »

I would like to start by thanking all the constructive people that have replied. But for the ones that have been a bit nasty I thought I would just explain my reasons for asking son to pay board. I have so far on a wage of £120 not taken a penny from him. This arrangement starts with his new wage first week in February. My husband has not worked for over 2 years since he suffered a stroke. This has left him with short term memory loss and scrambled long term memory. I work as a non teaching assistant in a local school for £12,000 a year. He has some benefits and a couple of small pensions coming in. We have a mortgage to pay, a loan to pay, gas and electric, water, council tax, food bills plus anything else that falls on our mat. Our other son is still at uni and has no income. I hope that explains why I asked the question in the first place!

You should not have to justify yourself for deciding to take money from your son. He is another adult in your household, and whether he's earning or claiming benefits, he should pay his way! Particularly with difficult financial situations like your own, it's impractical for parents to pay for the food and fuel another adult uses.

I lived at home during my final year of uni and although I was working, my mum refused to take any money from me as I was studying full time and used most of my money to commute. My brother on the other hand, was unemployed for around 8 months, during which time he claimed JSA and if I remember rightly, had to top up the electric every week (£15) - a small amount but it was his input. As soon as he got a job that paid around £1400 a month, he paid my mum £200 a month, which I think is a good deal considering he had a personal cook, cleaner and launderer!

If parents can afford not to take money from their children, I think they still should and put it away for the child's future. It DOES teach them about the value of money because nothing in life comes for free and once you've flown the nest, the cost of living is a huge shock to the system!