Son to pay board

lozza1985

I was quite lucky in that I never paid board, however I stayed at home to go to uni and my parents were in a position to give me petrol money & pay for my car upkeep so that I didn't have to work much during term time, and didn't get into any debt. I always helped round the house though. Once I was working full time, I wasn't asked to pay board (though I was responsible for all my car costs, insurance etc) - but only because then I was paying them back the money they lent me to change my car when I'd graduated (Dad didn't want to have to keep fixing my old car!) and I paid it back in big chunks. Then I got engaged and was saving to get a mortgage, so I guess they figured if I didn't pay board, I could leave home sooner. :rotfl:

Lokolo

truly1 wrote: »

Difference between children and adults, surely.

Nothing to do with being hard up or not. Adult earners should expect to pay their way.

rideo wrote: »

No. Any working adult should contribute to the household that they are living in. Just because they are your parents does not mean that they assume a life time responsibility to keep you.

There's a big difference between willingness to pay and actually having to pay.

As I said in a previous post, I am living back at home, I earn a lot (on par with my mum) yet I don't pay any board. She doesn't want any. I would quite happily give her board money as I get my meals cooked for me and a room to sleep in, but my mum doesn't want me to as she knows I am saving for a deposit, and the bigger deposit I have, the sooner I can move out.

rideo

VfM4meplse wrote: »

There are no squabbles in my family over each other's possessions or what we give and take from each other. Each adult child has their own home for years now; we all have keys to each others homes, can come and go as we please and help ourselves to each other's items. Even though we're in 4 separate households, we are happy to share things, my home is their's and vice versa.

Kicking your kids out when you think they are old enough to be rid of is selfish. If that is your attitude, why on earth have children in the first place?

You are ridiculous. Your assertion that having a working adult make a contribution to the household = selfishness on the part of the parents is risible.

That you live in a utopian family where you freely share all your worldly possessions, commendable as that is, is completely beside the point.

I repeat, when you have children you do not take on a lifetime responsibility to keep them. That is not saying that you you no longer care for and support them but an adult is an adult and not a child. I would not expect to be living at home and working full time and not pay anything towards where I was living, even if it is just a small token gesture. I lived at home for a year after university because, like many others, I could not afford to move out on the wage I was earning. I paid my mum some money each week because I was an adult living in her house bringing in a wage just like she was.

Of course some parents refuse to take money off of their children which of course is entirely their choice, but the money SHOULD be offered by the child, accepted or not. Not making that offer is the selfish thing, in my opinion.

rockstar

BigMoneyMaker wrote: »

Nothing!!...

I wont be charging my kids any money for board, you charge lodgers to stay in your home not your family, specially if they are only earnin 220 a week, i suppose it is different if you are hard up and strapped for cash though.

BMM

but then they never learn the value of money and bills etc.

I paid £40 a week when earning £200 and i wish I could just pay £40 a week now I have my own house. My gas and electric costs that a week alone. Paying rent teaches them some great morals and lessons.

Also what else are they gonna do with their wages? 9 times out of ten waste it on drink, or junk. (or both). Why shouldn't they pay their way?

Daeny

I paid £30 per week if I earned less than £100 that week, and I paid £50 per week if I earned more.

I didn't feel it was unfair. It was needed.

chelmsfordgirl1

I used to pay a percentage of my wages - it was agreed between my parents and myself.

I understood that when I moved out I would have to pay rent & bills, it made me feel like I was contributing to the house. It made me feel like an adult.

I think rather than telling him how much to pay, sit down together & agree an amount he would be happy to pay.

VfM4meplse

rideo wrote: »

You are ridiculous. Your assertion that having a working adult make a contribution to the household = selfishness on the part of the parents is risible.

No, it's a perfectlly valid opinion shared by many in this world.

rideo wrote: »

That you live in a utopian family where you freely share all your worldly possessions, commendable as that is, is completely beside the point.

The reference to Utopia suggests that you think I live in a fantasyland. Our way works for us and always will do. In fact we regularly treat each other to things that we would think twice about spending money on for ourselves. It's about putting others first always, what goes around, comes around. Ultimately you can't take it with you, we'd much rather we fully enjoy the fruits of our labours.

rideo wrote: »

I repeat, when you have children you do not take on a lifetime responsibility to keep them. That is not saying that you you no longer care for and support them but an adult is an adult and not a child. I would not expect to be living at home and working full time and not pay anything towards where I was living, even if it is just a small token gesture. I lived at home for a year after university because, like many others, I could not afford to move out on the wage I was earning. I paid my mum some money each week because I was an adult living in her house bringing in a wage just like she was.

Of course some parents refuse to take money off of their children which of course is entirely their choice, but the money SHOULD be offered by the child, accepted or not. Not making that offer is the selfish thing, in my opinion.

How's the view from your high horse? Just because it's you're example, it's doesn't mean there is no other right way of raising children through to adulthood. The financial lessons I was taught from an early age by my parents have been a huge advantage to me. As my first post alluded to, of course I contributed - but in other financial ways rather than regular cash installments - which whilst appreciated was always berated as ultimately it meant it would take longer before I could afford to "stand on my own two feet".

It works both ways: unlike many that have fled the nest, I have a huge respect for my family and fully expect to care for them financially if the worst should happen, without expecting anything back. My parents looked after me, and I'll look after them.

rideo

VfM4meplse wrote: »

No, it's a perfectlly valid opinion shared by many in this world.The reference to Utopia suggests that you think I live in a fantasyland. Our way works for us and always will do. In fact we regularly treat each other to things that we would think twice about spending money on for ourselves. It's about putting others first always, what goes around, comes around. Ultimately you can't take it with you, we'd much rather we fully enjoy the fruits of our labours.
How's the view from your high horse? Just because it's you're example, it's doesn't mean there is no other right way of raising children through to adulthood. The financial lessons I was taught from an early age by my parents have been a huge advantage to me. As my first post alluded to, of course I contributed - but in other financial ways rather than regular cash installments - which whilst appreciated was always berated as ultimately it meant it would take longer before I could afford to "stand on my own two feet".

It works both ways: unlike many that have fled the nest, I have a huge respect for my family and fully expect to care for them financially if the worst should happen, without expecting anything back. My parents looked after me, and I'll look after them.

clearly you did not read the end of my post. I stated that the parents don't have to accept some housekeeping but you should at least offer it.

I used utopian only to imply that you had an excellent family relationship. You are extremely lucky, many people are not so fortunate. Good for you that you appreciate each other so well.

Optimop

None, you earn a lot more than him, you decided to have him, dont be evil. Poor kid.

lollipopsarah

No 1 son is still at home (28) and would dearly love to move out, but could never afford it on a partime wage.
He gives us £110 a month and puts whatever spare he can into savings.
He has been round Australia/Canada and Europe and is doing a degree with the OU.
I'm very proud of my man and dearly with I could save and help him out, but sadly in the real world it doesn't always work out that way.
I suppose in theory if he moved out I would probably be no worse off really, but admit that I would miss him.
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