Son to pay board

spikejrt

When I lived at home I used to pay my parents some keep and it didn't do me any harm - taught me that you had to make sure money was available every month to pay it, and that was good as it got a load much more expensive when I rented with friends!!

truly1

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I left home late (26) but was never asked to contribute financially. It undoubtedly gave me a good start as it helped me save for a deposit and buy my own home; although I would regularly shop for the family it was never expected, and do a lot of housework (that was expected!).

I don't understand the mentality of people who charge their children board when they start earning, it's not teaching them the way of the world. It would be far better to help children plan for the future and agree financial goals. Children are a lifetime commitment, if you can't afford them, don't have them.

Difference between children and adults, surely.

Nothing to do with being hard up or not. Adult earners should expect to pay their way.

tescobabe69

gem4 wrote: »

I have £240 mth off my daughter and unfortunately I do have to rely on it as we are the only two people in the house. She is still left with over £600 to do with as she pleases. We split the main household bills 50/50 and we each pay our own personal expenses, car ins etc. This makes her aware of how much it costs to run a household.

What will you do if she leaves ?

pixnmix_2

I charge my son about a quarter of his part time wages per month, and that helps a bit towards his and his girlfriends food and water, electricity etc (she stays with us 2-3 times a week). But he runs his own car, buys his own clothes, brings home milk, bread, other store cupboard stuff he notices is running out and also helps with some household chores. I think it's a fair deal and it works for us.

pixnmix_2

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I left home late (26) but was never asked to contribute financially. It undoubtedly gave me a good start as it helped me save for a deposit and buy my own home; although I would regularly shop for the family it was never expected, and do a lot of housework (that was expected!).

I don't understand the mentality of people who charge their children board when they start earning, it's not teaching them the way of the world. It would be far better to help children plan for the future and agree financial goals. Children are a lifetime commitment, if you can't afford them, don't have them.

I felt the same way until my kids became wage earners and found that they actually wanted to contribute. That way they get to raid the fridge, take baths/ showers more than once a day, choose what we cook for tea (to an extent) and feel they are responsible adults contributing to the family home. Now my daughter has a home of her own, she appreciates that the amount she paid me was a tiny fraction of the actual cost of running a home. I help my daughter out in lots of ways, even now she is 24. Yes, kids are a lifetime committment but that does not mean financial. It means emotional and practical support, including helping them to learn how to become independant.

gingerandrubarb

I think you also need to consider the age of the OP's child and also if the OP is on benefits or working. If they where on benefits as any additional money coming in the benefits agency need to know about. x

lilac_lady

When my children had part time jobs while at school, they kept their wages but when they started working fulltime they paid "dig" money. (not much, more for the learning curve thing).

No matter what you charge, make sure you get a standing order then you avoid the same discussion every time the money is due.

I gave my children back 50% of their total money when they bought their first flats.

I

whitelabel

tescobabe69 wrote: »

What will you do if she leaves ?

Was going to ask the same . Struggle I'm guessing .

bobothebear

I always paid my mum each month 1% of my annual salary(think thats right) . So when I started work I was on £12000 and paid her £120 a month. Each year I got a payrise or changed jobs this figure would go up. Think when I left home 5 years later I was on £26000 and paying her £260.

VfM4meplse

rideo wrote: »

No. Any working adult should contribute to the household that they are living in. Just because they are your parents does not mean that they assume a life time responsibility to keep you.

There are no squabbles in my family over each other's possessions or what we give and take from each other. Each adult child has their own home for years now; we all have keys to each others homes, can come and go as we please and help ourselves to each other's items. Even though we're in 4 separate households, we are happy to share things, my home is their's and vice versa.

Kicking your kids out when you think they are old enough to be rid of is selfish. If that is your attitude, why on earth have children in the first place?