Ex tenant/friend wanting deposit back - moral dilemma

sassyblue

ilesmark wrote: »

To all the other responses making me out to be such an awful person - the reason for me posting at all is because of the lapse of time and the other factors I have outlined. If he had answered my request to sort the matter out closer to 2008 this post would never have happened, fallout or no fallout.

Anyway, bitter and twisted as I am I sought advice and I got it.

Ignore all the rude posters, some of them just love to judge harshly.

I think your friend is odd for saying forget about it and now wants the money back, but coming so soon after Christmas maybe he's a bit stretched? He had to ask for this money knowing he'd once told you to forget about it so is probably (rightly!) feeling embarrassed.

There's no 'blame' as such though - it could have been sorted out before now but hadn't. And don't take it too personally that you've drifted apart, it happens, people move on. If you were me l'd still give him the deposit back - and the vet bill money and have a clean conscience. (The cat food and caring for the cats l'd weigh out against the cheaper rent).

rachbc

ilesmark wrote: »

Oh sorry - didn't realise you didn't know what Business Efficacy meant. Being the holder of a law degree, I have been known to bandy these terms around without thinking - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Business+efficacy

It's becoming clearer and clearer why he might not have kept in touch....

moodydonkey

rachbc wrote: »

It's becoming clearer and clearer why he might not have kept in touch....

Isn't it! OP you would appear to know your stuff so just pay the man. Take charge of the situation, cover the remainder of the deposit and the vet bill. Thank him for looking after your cat and property and wish him well.

Surely an educated man such as yourself would see the sense in this and do it. I don't see what you have to gain by being obstructive.

KiKi

O. M. G.

When I moved to Aus for 6 months, I had a friend move in to house-sit and look after my two cats. Yes, she got pleasure from them being around, but I wouldn't have been able to go if no-one could care for the animals.

I bought all the food in advance so she had to buy nothing. I left the money for cat litter. I paid all the bills, all the mortgage. I charged her nothing, not one penny. I was able to go and do what I wanted for 6 months safe in the knowledge that my cats were well cared for, and that the house would be well looked after.


You, on the other hand, got a paying tenant who cared for your cat. And paid its vet bill. And bought its food. And cared for your house.

Yes, it might be *annoying* that it wasn't sorted out earlier, but it doesn't make you any the less responsible for paying back the deposit.

If your bank owed you money and you didn't notice or didn't pursue it for a couple of years, would that make them any the less liable for paying you? I can't believe your attitude. Whilst I wouldn't expect anyone to do what I did and foot ALL the bills, the fact is that it was a mutually beneficial arrangement for both of you: they got a cheaper house and the pleasure of cat; you got peace of mind and the ability to travel without the worry of a pet. The deposit was for a tenancy and you owe him not just that, but for the vet bill.

KiKi

moodydonkey

Sorry Mark, I got lost with the business efficacy twaddle. Hope it's sorted

Person_one

ilesmark wrote: »

Anyway, suggest we all follow my suggestion in post no 45 and draw a line under the matter.

You can't put the lid back on a can of worms OP, best not to post at all if you aren't prepared to get opinions you disagree with.

moodydonkey

ilesmark wrote: »

Because you seem to be implying - no, pretty much stating - that I'm somehow to blame for him losing touch. I don't think that's fair. Me being bitter about it now doesn't mean I was like it at the time so it can't have been the cause.

I wasn't commenting on that at all actually, was just responding to your post. :beer:

Ladyshopper

Did you declare to your mortgage company you were renting out?

Personally I think your attitude is unbelieveable - YOUR cat, which they looked after, fed, and took to the vet, and yet you're quibbling about money??

rachbc

ilesmark wrote: »

Rachbc and Moodydonkey - clearly you write better than you read. I've already said he's going to get what's due to him.

As for the 'It's becoming clearer and clearer why he might not have kept in touch' comment - all that proves is you're like him.

No I read you had a moral dilemma which suggests there was a query over whether morally you ought to pay him back. Not a single poster as said you shouldn't nor have you presented any evidence for a moral reason for not doing. You have presenting a few excuses but certainly no questions of morality. I'm surprised someone so highly educated as yourself can't see that.

But then my degrees are in Philosophy so I probably understand the
meaning of morality better than a legal graduate :rotfl::cool:

Ginger_Poodle

Thank you for clarifying this...happy to see that I misunderstood your post