Ex tenant/friend wanting deposit back - moral dilemma

JimmyTheWig

I agree with what's been said.

The friend has been particularly out of order in saving he wasn't bothered about then money and now saying he is.
The friend has been somewhat out of order about leaving his bike there. (Only somewhat as it seems he agreed to you getting rid of it the first time you asked. Assuming you've got access to a car, this wouldn't be too difficult.)
The friend has been mildly out of order about making new friends and losing touch. I mean you can't really blame someone for that if times change. And you were the one to go travelling!

But none of that out-of-orderness warrants keeping his money.
The arrangement worked well.
Keep the moral high-ground and pay him back. Add on the vet bill. Take off any bills incurred that you have documentation for.
Make a note of what you are paying, when and why. Make sure he gets a copy of this note (e.g. by email) in case anything goes wrong in the future.

Then move on.

Frogletina

Send him a cheque for £250 and draw a line under the whole thing

Life is too short

threemuttleys

why wouldnt you give him his money back? How would you feel if it were on the other foot?

sooz

This gets worse.
He owes you no money for utilities, but you want to charge him the cost of feeding your cat? :eek:

There is no moral dilemma.

You owe him money & you haven't paid him back.

I'm not surprised he and his girlfriend don't want to be friends with you any more. If you behave like this now, I'd hazard a guess that they didn't think you were a wonderful landlord whilst they lived there either.
The only time I'd want to see you again would be in the small claims court.

Frogletina

ilesmark wrote: »

The bills we are talking about are merely the cat food and the vets bill. And he and his then girlfriend did vaguely talk about covering at least some of the cost of the food...they are cat lovers in their own right and did derive some pleasure from having the cats around...so much so they'd have got ones of their own if I hadn't provided ready-made ones.

Have you ever thought how much it would have cost you to put the cats in a cattery?

Yes, they may have got pleasure from having the cats around, but pets are a responsibility which they took on while you were away.

LEJC

I think that because of the time lapse then the easiest thing to do would be to just give back the reaining deposit and put it down to experience....

Yes it seems you have had additional bills to pay as a result but on the other hand how muck would it have cost you to put your cat in a cattery for the duration of your travelling? or how would you have felt leaving your property unoccupied during the time?....it seems to me as if both sides benefitted out of the situation in different ways...

Its sad that your friendship didnt survive but people do move on and friendships change over time...not everyone is a lofelong friend...
If it were me I would put it down to experience...

duchy

I'm sure you could charge him for cat food-and then he could counterclaim for cat-sitting. Let it go !

Get over it-You went travelling -you agreed a rent with them before you went (which I'd presume included a reduction as they were going to and did take care of your cat and generally took good care of the place (I'm sure if they hadn't you'd have added it to your "excuses list"). When you got back -everyone had moved on -you were single-they were getting married and you had less in common and drifted apart-it happens -although I suspect a bit of you resents it. When you are away travelling you kind of think everything is exactly the same at home -of course it isn't life goes on without you and things change.

Their bills were up to date -the flat was in good nick and the bike wasn't in your way or you'd have done something about it-so stop making excuses -man up and pay up-and move on.

Lotus-eater

ilesmark wrote: »

All - thanks for responses. The only one that mildly piqued me is the above as it reads as if tenant no longer wants to be friends because I am vacillating about paying back the deposit, whereas I thought I made it as clear as possible that in fact its the opposite.

No, it's because of the type of person you seem to be.

A nit picky person, who can never be wrong.YOU should have sorted out the bills, it's no ones fault but yours.

krlyr

They got the benefit of a cat without the longterm commitment, you got the benefit of a free cat sitter. I'd call it quits, after paying them the vet bill. Alternatively, go halves on the bill since you weren't there to decide which vets it went to, whether it needed to go, who's responsibility you were classing the cat's care as, etc. Then return their £250 deposit. Job done.

duchy wrote: »

I'm sure you could charge him for cat food-and then he could counterclaim for cat-sitting. Let it go !

Surely if the friend had been paying for the cat food, they'd be the ones claiming the cost from the OP (in addition to cat sitting)? Unless OP left behind a food budget and was arguing that they should only have used half of it as they'd mentioned contributing to the cost.

Cat food and vet bills aside, you owe them £250 from their initial deposit for the flat, pay that back and sort out the cat issues seperately - if the friend can't be bothered to chase that then it's a seperate issue, but the flat deposit has nothing to do with the cat.

peachyprice

ilesmark wrote: »

TRUE, BUT HOW IS THAT MY FAULT WHEN I'VE REPEATEDLY TRIED TO SORT OUT THE AMOUNT? HE HAD THE RECEIPT FROM THE VET AND FOR THE FOOD,AND I HAD TO SEE THAT TO KNOW HOW MUCH I OWE.

That is utter crap, you KNOW the vet was around £100, you said so yourself. You KNOW how much food your cat eats a week, times that by 78 weeks, and you have a pretty good idea how much YOU owe your ex-friend, not how much HE owes you.

Here, I'll do it for you shall I,
7 cans of cat food = 7 x 58p = £4.06
1 box cat biscuits = £1.00
£5.06 x 78 = £394.68

Plus £100 for vet
Plus £250 witheld deposit

YOU owe HIM £744.68, ish.