Probably stupid BUT I am so broody

Darlyd

I want another baby so bad... Don't know whats up with me..

My first baby (boy) 14 years ago was still born, then I had a girl 13 years ago and another girl 5 year ago, with complications (they had to put me sleep get rid of placenta that was left inside me, plus she cracked my pelvis from being so big)

My brother is having his first (he is 34) due in April a little girl (shhhhhh).

Most of my school friends/friends are/have had babies, I am feeling so broody.

I want a little boy, that boy I lost many years ago, I don't want to replace him I just want a baby boy, a baby what ever. hubby says no, but he will come round If I really want one, I am scared of any complications (I will have to lose weight first), We have the money I guess, And our marriage is now much better. Still have problems with DD1 hence why we could not adopt.

I just want to take this implant out and If I get preggers then fate has happened if not then what the hell...

Or should I just get one of those life sized/feel babies? But I would feel weird pushing it around..

marywooyeah

I'm so sorry for your loss OP that sounds heartbreaking. If you do get to have another boy of course you won't be replacing him, but I do understand why you feel the craving to have another. have you told your OH the reasons behind wanting another baby? have you put together figures and facts to work out if you could afford another baby - this could be very useful to do.

I've never had one of those dolls and can see why people get them, but ultimately I don't know if they would fill that need you feel.

mountainofdebt

OP

I don't want to sound heartless but given the problems you've got with your eldest, are you sure you're even in the right place - mentally, physically and emotionally - to even contemplate another child? what if you did have another child and it was a girl?

Tbh the thought of having a 13yr gap between the eldest and youngest would send me into a cold sweat.

Have you considered having conselling?

Darlyd

I don't think those fake babies would fill my need at all.

We have the money, I still have moses basket and some baby clothes, and I am sure we would manage financially, as well as the night feeds and we could give as much love/attention as we give our other 2..

I have spoken to DH about adopting, we put in for it few years ago but was told to come back when DD2 was 5, but sadly we are unable too because we have problems with dd1 (got social worker for her now with help), so the only other option would to try to conceive. I won't lie I a terrified but it would all be worth it if I survived, another bundle of joy.... ohhh such a hard decision to make, I do want this implant out of my arm so badly....

Darlyd

mountainofdebt wrote: »

OP

I don't want to sound heartless but given the problems you've got with your eldest, are you sure you're even in the right place - mentally, physically and emotionally - to even contemplate another child? what if you did have another child and it was a girl?

Tbh the thought of having a 13yr gap between the eldest and youngest would send me into a cold sweat.

Have you considered having conselling?

If it was a girl, it would be just as loved.

I know about DD1 and the problems associated, but I can't let her attention seeking and attitude come into it. May sound selfish but she will accept it I am sure, she will move out in years to come with her own family.

We have so much love to give, Either that or we adopt some more pets... But the fact we can have another baby goes through my mind daily, I really want another bundle of joy, nappies, etc etc... Everything that comes with another child..

jenhug

You want my honest opinion? I think you need bereavement counselling. You sound like you are yearning for the baby you lost, or a need to put something right. If after counselling you still feel you would like another child, and the benefits outweigh the risks, then with your hubbys support you should go for it. Good luck

Darlyd

I don't need counselling honestly.. He had spinabifida (sp) and I was so young. Sickest thing is though, and runs through my mind a lot, is Ade (the father) who cheated on me and I left went on to have a baby boy, named him the same name we named our baby and he suffers with same problem but is 13 now. I looks at fb pics of him and say to myself omg that could of been my baby. But I am OK about that.

I just want another baby, no matter which sex, a baby boy would be a bonus.. I'm just scared of carrying and the labour.

mountainofdebt

darlyd wrote: »

I know about DD1 and the problems associated, but I can't let her attention seeking and attitude come into it. May sound selfish but she will accept it I am sure, she will move out in years to come with her own family.

But I have to be honest some of your posts with regards to her behaviour have scared the !!!! out of me and I'm just reading your descriptions of them and don't have to live with tm.

I hate to say it but her behaviour / attention seeking / what ever you want to call it is a major factor - could you honestly put your hand on your heart and say everything would be hunky dory ?

Darlyd

Things could not get any worse than they already are. She is improving, Our relationship is improving.

I can not miss out on this chance whilst I am still young. I will be honest I never been a motherly person until I had my kids, and I want more, I have dreamt of having 6 kids, but will stop at 3/4. I really am craving another one. I wanted to adopt but sadly am unable too, which is a shame, there are so many little ones out there missing out on what we can offer, it's heartbreaking.

kitschkitty

darlyd wrote: »

I won't lie I a terrified but it would all be worth it if I survived

OP, I don't know anything else about you other than what is in this thread, but that sentence really worries me.

If you didn't (and your mentioned some serious complications in your past pregnancies) then you are leaving your partner with 2 children, one with behavioural problems to cope with as well as dealing with your loss and the reason for it.

And how will both of your daughters behaviour/lives be affected???

If that's not what you meant then I apologize, it just sounded that way.

Darlyd

kitschkitty wrote: »

OP, I don't know anything else about you other than what is in this thread, but that sentence really worries me.

If you didn't (and your mentioned some serious complications in your past pregnancies) then you are leaving your partner with 2 children, one with behavioural problems to cope with as well as dealing with your loss and the reason for it.

And how will both of your daughters behaviour/lives be affected???

If that's not what you meant then I apologize, it just sounded that way.

DD1 was 9.6, DD2 was 10.14 and fractured my pelvis, I also got let home with placenta left inside me and had no idea about it till I heamoraged and had to have emergency D&C. So terrifies me that something might happen, Doctors reckons I am health accept I need to lose some weight. All goes through my mind. But to me risks outweigh happiness for us..