Need advice, first time Dad!

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dondo wrote: »

I found the blokes guide to pregnancy very useful

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blokes-Guide-Pregnancy-Jon-Smith/dp/140190288X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325246962&sr=1-1

Thank you, that will be purchased

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Yorkie1 wrote: »

The experience of my friends who have had babies, is that they rarely have to buy any clothes for the baby for the first couple of years at least, because they have other friends whose children have outgrown their clothes and they're desperate to pass them on to someone!

(Edit, the clothes, not the children!!)

Unfortunately we weren't quick enough, the few people that we do know have either given the clothes away already or are expecting/got a second child.

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basscadette wrote: »

Don't buy too many cute outfits. Everyone will buy them for you as presents and you find that trying to get a three month old into dungarees and fancy shirts just isn't worth the hassle. Sleepsuits all the way!

It's probably best to put money away and buy things when they're on offer throughout the year. It's an awful thing to say but things can go wrong, especially in the early stages, so don;t buy too much until nearer the end.

My partner and I both said that we wouldn't buy much until closer to the time but, as I'm sure with most women, when she goes into these shops she has to come out with something.

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Carl31 wrote: »

From experience, make sure you are aware of the changes and emotions that your partner may be going through immediately after birth. You can get prepared with things for baby, and how wonderful its going to be, but sometimes it can be hard on the mother, tiring and can put strain on your relationship, just make sure you are prepared for baby blues and other changes that may occur, the blokes guide to pregnancy has it listed i think

I found this out the hard way unfortunately

Cheers for the advice. I will be buying that book so hopefully some first hand advice in there.

SqueekyMouse

slightly O/T
I'd recommend private antenatal classes unless you have really good NHS ones near you. The information you get is invaluable, plus you meet like minded future parents from your area who will become your future mum and dad friends. They are expensive (~£140 for a 6 week course for both of us) but I thought they were well worth it.

If you're interesated I'd recommend you to book early. I say this because when we got round to booking antenatal classes we found that our local hospitals only provided a 1 hour class for both partners and a second 1 hour class for women only (This really wound my DH up, because he wanted to be as informed as I was so he could support me through birth to the best of his abilities). So we looked into NCT classes but they were fully booked untill after my due date (I was only 20 weeks at the time). In the end we found 2 former midwives who were running independent classes in our area. The information before the birth and now the continued support from them post birth has been brilliant

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SqueekyMouse wrote: »

slightly O/T
I'd recommend private antenatal classes unless you have really good NHS ones near you. The information you get is invaluable, plus you meet like minded future parents from your area who will become your future mum and dad friends. They are expensive (~£140 for a 6 week course for both of us) but I thought they were well worth it.

If you're interesated I'd recommend you to book early. I say this because when we got round to booking antenatal classes we found that our local hospitals only provided a 1 hour class for both partners and a second 1 hour class for women only (This really wound my DH up, because he wanted to be as informed as I was so he could support me through birth to the best of his abilities). So we looked into NCT classes but they were fully booked untill after my due date (I was only 20 weeks at the time). In the end we found 2 former midwives who were running independent classes in our area. The information before the birth and now the continued support from them post birth has been brilliant

Thank you for the advice, we will have to look and see what classes there are in the area.

meritaten

the advice I would give is
be prepared for sudden mood swings
move heaven and earth to satisfy your partners cravings (she will remember this with gratitude - I craved strawberries and my OH taking me to a pick your own farm is remembered with fondness)
develop an intense interest in nursery design and be prepared to change it overnight!
dont ask 'is it coming' every time your partner winces and rubs her back! it gets sort of irritating when there is weeks to go!
Dont wear rings to the birth - your fingers are going to get crushed! and dont remember that she swears like a trooper and promises to cut off your assets if you ever come near her again!
be prepared to be your partners spokesperson - If partner wants a particular kind of birth and the hospital are not co-operative - then do battle for her!
and finally - YOUR baby is the most beautiful one you have ever seen! and she looks beautiful too!

make_me_wise

Congratulations. Hope your girlfriends pregnancy goes really smoothly. I am due to have twins next week and my husband has read a couple of the books mentioned on here and found them useful.

I would recommend just lots of open communication with your girlfriend though. Going along to midwife appointments and being a full part in it all. No book can tell you how your girlfriend is feeling or what she needs emotionally and otherwise.

We have bought cots, travel system, bouncy chairs, steriliser. I hope not to bottle feed but who knows how it will go. It is always useful to have bottles and sterilizers so others can take over night feeds etc. The mattresses on the cots have a cover that can be unzipped and thrown in the washing machine.

We have large families on both sides and have been given dozens of sleepsuits and babygrows. Wont be using baby baths. My mil advised to just fill our bath with a small amount of water and lay baby on their back and splash water over them with a sponge. Dont believe in buying every baby gadget and gizmo under the sun. Just going to use some common sense and wing it!

Mupette

You will both be doing a birth plan, don't expect it to go as you expect.

ex husband thought he was doing me great favours by putting a cool flannel on my forehead, .... i growled at him...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

You may find your OH suddenly develops what you think are strange ideas or superstitions.


As per me, who refused point blank to have anything baby related in the house right up until the last minute (well, the day before, anyhow). And, amazingly enough, my mother allowed me to use my old bedroom as a storage unit both times, when I fully expected her to tell me the same as the rest of OH's family that I was being daft. Nobody else liked me not wanting to know the sex either.

And, connected to Muppette's comment, foot massages can be incredibly painful if feet are swollen. Thigh muscles work more in labour than my flaming feet ever did.