Strange strange organisation

LadyMissA

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

Have another word with yourself.
If they say their top is too low and pull it up how can they be assaulting them? They're covering their tits up, not pulling it over their head or punching them.

Sorry but I do not think your boss is meant to touch you like that. What if it was a man doing it? Would that be ok? They can say your top is too low in a meeting but not adjust your clothing themselves, surely? That is not the correct way to behave at the workplace.

SarEl

dilemma10 wrote: »

Thanks, I do genuinely appreciate your views, it has woken me up for the better. I take all of your points on board about how it could look from another perspective. I am seriously confused by the organisation though and definitely not intent on just moaning for the sake of moaning. I just go round and round in circles!

Then you need to decide exactly what your boundaries are and stick to them. Nobody can make you tell private or personal information if you refuse to; nobody can make you sleep over if you don't want to. You need to determine what is confusion (which could be you misunderstanding) and what is "over the line". Then you either deal with it or you decide you can't and you get out.

DVardysShadow

dilemma10 wrote: »

Thanks, I do genuinely appreciate your views, it has woken me up for the better. I take all of your points on board about how it could look from another perspective. I am seriously confused by the organisation though and definitely not intent on just moaning for the sake of moaning. I just go round and round in circles!

OK, blunt speak time.

Someone of your age on your pay would normally be much more sure of themselves and much more certain about where they are going and where their boundaries lie. Basically, they will either reject what is going on and leave, or they will play up to it to the full and make the most of the opportunities presented by the inappropriateness of the environment.

Your dithering on this suggests to me that you are being paid £4k to £6K over what you could possibly aspire to elsewhere - and that you know this.

The horrible truth about your situation is that while you are uncomfortable with it, to leave it will involve an uncomfortable reappraisal of your true worth. But because you are uncomfortable with your situation, you really are in the long run on a hiding to nothing pandering to the eccentric personal traits of your employer.

It is a road you could travel along for a long time, but ultimately, when you lose whatever attracts this woman - and you will, you will need to find the same again, but you will probably fail. Because whatever you hold for this woman is virtually useless in the rest of the employment market. And I think that your denouement will come sooner rather than later when you set up home with a partner. If that is with a boyfriend, you are almost certainly out. If it is with a girlfriend, you may be able to play clever. But with what we see of you here, like the rest of us, mixing your relationships with earning your crust is not the way you are cut out.

You are plainly uncomfortable now. I am quite certain that you will not be able to ride this horse far enough. If you accept that your value in the rest of the employment market may be lower than in your current role, there is probably quite a lot of benefit you can derive from this job being on your CV. And you will be a lot more secure having a value with an employer for what you are as a 9-5 employee which will be far more universally recognised among employers generally.

Errata

Blunt speak #2 - If you're confused by the organisation, its policy and comms which you claim to have responsibility for will be in tatters. Might be a good idea to leave before you're sacked.

BitterAndTwisted

I cannot comprehend why you are not dipping a toe in the waters of prospective alternative employment. Getting your resume out there and going to a couple of interviews will show what you may be worth to other, more sensibly-run organisations and might crystalise the way forward.

You've got nine grand in savings so you've got the luxury of handing in your notice and walking away from the corrosive and damaging environment. Stacking shelves in Sainbugs on NMW for a bit could be better for your soul and sanity in the short-term.

paddyrg

In honesty, knowing a little about the psychological techniques certain 'churches' use, they often keep you doubting yourself by using spurious tests, and then selling you the solution. Your employment doesn't sound that different - a bit of undermining of your confidence creating a bit of dependency and uncertainty...

Time to jump :-)

Edinburghlass_2

Rockporkchop wrote: »

What do you want people to say?

You post the same thing over and over again and never do anything about it, and never take any of the advice people on here give you. If you are desperately unhappy in your job then look for a new one. Life is very short. I have wasted far too many years, decades even, being unhappy in jobs and staying just for the high salary and I do regret that now.

Sounds like you have had a £5k payrise since you last posted though so presumably they have started to recognise your hard work more?

This was posted in July in a thread started by the OP and nothing has changed.

DCFC79

OP someone suggested about asking for a reference and leaving(i think that was said) and id leave asap, it seems its a crackpot firm with some crackpot employees and ideas so id get out now. I thought my last job was a crackpot firm with some crackpot employees but yours wins by a mile.

scheming_gypsy

LadyMissA wrote: »

Sorry but I do not think your boss is meant to touch you like that. What if it was a man doing it? Would that be ok? They can say your top is too low in a meeting but not adjust your clothing themselves, surely? That is not the correct way to behave at the workplace.

and if they adjusted somebody's tie would that be assault? they just adjusted the neckline on somebody's top, they didn't pull their knickers out of their arse

LadyMissA

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

and if they adjusted somebody's tie would that be assault? they just adjusted the neckline on somebody's top, they didn't pull their knickers out of their arse

no one needs to adjust anything, just tell them. Easy.