Relationship break down help and advice needed please

chloo

Also Hun was/is this the first thing to rock the boat or have you had any other problems? Do you live together?

When you meet tomorrow is it a mutual place?

In our case he had fancied her before we got together I felt I couldn't trust him as he always talked about her and often discribed the way she looked as his ideal woman and as she always sent him texts it would often be the two of them working late she would drop him home ect the girl would say things to me like oh if I wasn't with my oh I would be with yours. We got thought it by him deleting her number and not replying to her texts and walking home and not chatting with her all the time at work she started to get the picture.


Having a heart to heart I put him in my shoes and said like how would you like it.
You must not feel guilty or bad he is the one in the wrong here and with the comment he doesn't feel he should have to try any more is stupid he clearly wants you to brush it under the carpet I think. You both need to have a heart to heart talk about where to go from here either:

Break up call off the wedding that's the end of it

Or

Stay together brush it under the carpet and worry every time he goes for a work do or you know they are on the same shift.

Or

You stay together but he needs to be hOnest with you about why he kissed someone else and about how he deals with issues in the future running away like a baby won't help you or the situation hun you need to tell him that it's very childish.

I would tell him how you feel like that you don't trust him. Also try to put it the other way around ie how would you feel if I kissed Tom from work and then left you for a few days saying I can't stoP thinking about him....he would feel like 5hit I'm sure.

I really hope things work out okay for you hunny please keep us updated!

Xxx

Broken_hearted_loserkid

It's ridiculous thinking you don't have to try in a relationship, it's about compromise and stuff, it's not going to be happy all of the time. Are you in a relationship DUTR? Just wondering if you are speaking from experience or not.

Yes I do have male friends and we've discussed it, they think he is making the biggest mistake of his life. One of my male friends has actually been through this himself and regrets his decision.

DUTR

Broken_hearted_loserkid wrote: »

It's ridiculous thinking you don't have to try in a relationship, it's about compromise and stuff, it's not going to be happy all of the time. Are you in a relationship DUTR? Just wondering if you are speaking from experience or not.

Yes I do have male friends and we've discussed it, they think he is making the biggest mistake of his life. One of my male friends has actually been through this himself and regrets his decision.

1stly stop thinking I'm attacking you, because I am not!
Perhaps you misunderstand the trying bit, it seems on here the trying is always from the bloke and the woman just by the mere fact she is a woman does not have to try anything.
Imagine being a fly on the wall and the lads are down the pub with their mates
B1 "How's thing with you and the Mrs, all good with the house purchase n stuff?"
B2 Yeah the bills get paid, but all she seems to to nowadays is moan and moan, tasks need doing around the house, we never go out together anymore, she is always too tired and sex is out the window, plus she just aint attractive like when we 1st met lost her figure dress sense changed, there is this girl at work, she is a right laugh totally the opposite from my mrs

B1 yeah I know what you mean, if it were not for the kids I would be long gone, look at B3 he is not loved up, always out , holidaying and new skirt every other month, makes you wonder who is the 'loser' long term

You get the idea.
Either your bloke is making a mistake like your male friends suggest or the male friends are telling you what you want to hear, if you feel you have to change your bloke, then the relationship is truly doomed.

But to answer your question, this week I'm not in a relationship, and when I am it has to be for reasons that suit me just as it has to be for reasons that suit her, that is not to say I have not broken a heart or had my heart broken

Broken_hearted_loserkid

Sorry I do realise its not an attack, just obviously going through a really really hard time x

go_cat

Did anything else happen with this woman when he walked out to see "what he wanted" ...if so that would give me my answer

Broken_hearted_loserkid

No. He told her that it was me he wanted so they couldn't be anything more than friends

go_cat

Broken_hearted_loserkid wrote: »

No. He told her that it was me he wanted so they couldn't be anything more than friends

and do you believe that ?

chloo

how did the chat go today hun? xxx

chloo

Broken_hearted_loserkid wrote: »

The reason I'm posting under another name is that mine has my everyday nickname in it, I just came here for advice and don't want to complicate things by someone I know seeing it. Would I really waste my time making up stories??

Did it all work out chloo??

Thanks

i have just seen this! yes hun it did we got engaged in november and had our rough patch in may/june. x

adelight

What exactly does he mean by not having to try anymore? Not try to be faithful? Not try to earn your trust? If you haven't had a long chat about how you are both feeling, then have one. He might feel under pressure because of this kiss so make it clear that you've forgiven him for it but you are just feeling a little sore. If he is the best man for you then you will be able to get it out in the open and get through the rough patch (or as my mum would say, if he's the man for you he will make his own sandiwches!).