The job or the kiddies :(

bommer

Before you hand in your notice have you thought about approaching you boss re: fleixible working or reducing the hours that you are doing in your new job or even cutting down on the days that you work? I work 17.5 hours and do 2 and a half days. Through choice this is two full days and one half by only having 30 minutes lunch I can leave at 4.30. My two eight year olds go to an afterschool club for two days until 5-5.30 and really enjoy the time that they are there. They have been going since they started school.

This arrangement also gives me the flexibility to drop them off at school (they can go in from 8.35) and pick them up three days of the week.

You would still then be able to claim tax credits and as you are working part time you don't pay half as much tax.

Have you also tried sorting out the problems re: your eight year olds sleeping problems? It may be even after you give up your job/loose you good wage/ can't get any benefits cause you have left your job, she still may have exactly the same problems - just food for thought. My little boy sometimes doesn't go to sleep straight away and messes about which results in him being a pain in the moring to get motivated. We ended up sending him to bed half an hour earlier for a week and he went to sleep more or less straight away, we recon he was getting over tired.

Wiggly_Worm

Crikey I'm lucky if I can get mine out of bed by 7.50 let alone to a breakfast club elsewhere! My daughter's nearly 6 and she gets tired easily too. Just a random thought - we had about a week a while ago where she was getting sooo tired, and falling asleep at school and so forth, then I suddenly noticed she'd grown about 2 or 3 inches! Maybe a growth spurt could account for at least a bit of the tiredness? Sounds like it's been going on too long though. Talk to your health visitor, they might have some ideas.

What do your children think? Sounds crazy but they're often the last ones to be asked an opinion, usually because it takes about five times longer for them to be able to work out and articulate what they're feeling. I've found that it takes a good bit of digging, but we can *usually* get to the bottom of problems given enough time withmy daughter.

Good luck with it all. It's rubbish enough being poor, without having to be guilty as well

bananakinz

Don't give up the job straight away, speak to your boss and see what they say - they obviously want you to work there or they wouldn't have asked you to come back!

Phone uip the tax credit people and give them a 'what would happen if ...' to get all your figures.

Have you tried asking your daughter to draw you a picture of how she is feeling at the moment, sometimes kids can't articulate exactly how they are feeling but through a picture a lot can come out.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

skintas_2

im in same positon. my partner was wokring nites , this week back on days, so i cant work as he was having the kids in the day. he back at work.im still gonna get a job try and get a evening job or part time. i gutted like you, paying the debt, and had some freedom. hold tight something will come along........

mrslawrence2003

Wiggly_Worm wrote:

Crikey I'm lucky if I can get mine out of bed by 7.50 let alone to a breakfast club elsewhere! My daughter's nearly 6 and she gets tired easily too. Just a random thought - we had about a week a while ago where she was getting sooo tired, and falling asleep at school and so forth, then I suddenly noticed she'd grown about 2 or 3 inches! Maybe a growth spurt could account for at least a bit of the tiredness? Sounds like it's been going on too long though. Talk to your health visitor, they might have some ideas.

What do your children think? Sounds crazy but they're often the last ones to be asked an opinion, usually because it takes about five times longer for them to be able to work out and articulate what they're feeling. I've found that it takes a good bit of digging, but we can *usually* get to the bottom of problems given enough time withmy daughter.

Good luck with it all. It's rubbish enough being poor, without having to be guilty as well

you might be poor in a financial sense, but are clearly rich in love. given a choice between the two, i know which i'd choose every time!

mrslawrence2003

as for your decision, it seems clear that you've already made your mind up. if i were you, i would think about contacting my creditors and seeing what arrangements i could make in advance, contacting CAB and seeing them and asking their advice on how best to manage and what to do once you've quit, and also perhaps talking the situation through with CCCS or payplan. that way, you will be fully informed what your creditors will do once you've quit your job. once you have an understanding of this, you can consider if there's anyway you can improve the situation.

also, i agree with the poster above and consider the fact that your daughter may well have sleeping problems once you're back at home. perhaps a trip to the doctor might be in order? or can you change her routine to help (apologies but i am not a mother so have no idea how my suggestions will come across - if they offend i certainly didnt mean too.

finally i would talk to my current boss and see if there's any way to move to flexible working, or perhaps doing half your work from home. if you're intending to leave anyway, you really have nothing to lose by asking and it may be that your boss would much rather have u on flexi-time or working from home than completely lose you. if this is absolutely a no-go then i would do all i can to try and find a part-time job to take over once you finish in march and not wait to start until christmas. this way if you have a financial emergency you will be in a much stronger position to deal with it. also, have you signed up to quidco, mystery shopping, market research and surveys and perhaps aqa?

Dumyat

if your boss thought so much of you to phone you to offer you the job, would negotiating different hours be an option? job share?

at the end of the day family has to come first. however my daughter went through a wobbly stage when I changed jobs. she would have been about your daughter's age. it also coincided with a family bereavement and a few other issues. She did settle down again. three months is not a long time.

Wiggly_Worm

Aw, thanks Mrslawrence!

themaccas

Hi Comfort
I have a similar problem and I have decided to stay at work. DS2 is 3 and very boistrous to say the least. He goes to full time nursery 4 days a week and I have been called up several times about his behaviour and he is now on a behaviour plan and they want me to get the GP to refer him to a child psychologist. He is fine at home but does not cope well with sharing/playing with other children and can get aggressive. However he is only 3.5 and I have told them I will not seek outside help at this time. What we have done is to work closely with the nursery and have consistancy in discipline and so far the nursery are doing a fantastic job and the improvements in the last 3 months have been amazing. He is due to start school in September and we have decided to send him to a local private montessori school as they have smaller classes and it has more structure which he benefits from.

Anyhow I feel the worst mother in the world because I would love to have him at home but the truth is I cant afford to give up work because of our debts. I have cut down to 3 days a week, however because I work shifts I have to have the flexibility of 4 days nursery. The other problem I have is that I LOVE going out to work and I know if I give up, I will be miserable. I wish I knew the answer to it all

Comfort

Thank you for all your replies. Its certainly food for thought. Yes I think I have already made up my mind to leave. I promised myself before I started that if anything (even the tiniest thing) went wrong I would never let my children suffer through my decisions. Even if it doesn't resolve the problem at least I feel that I have done something and I will be more on hand to help. I've just been wondering whether to pay off the Tesco card or not. I will have enough money to pay it this month, but perhaps if I saved the money I could use it monthly to cover all three debts. I was looking forward to getting rid of it, but now I'm not so sure.