Deliciosa’s DFW diary

slowlyfading

Hey, are you okay? not heard from you for a while hope you're alright somewhere!
Nicola x

deliciosa

Hi

I wasnt posting for a while because I didnt have anything to report on except that I have blown my budget big time. I feel so horrible and I really can't believe I messed up so much... on thursday I had a day out with girs and I completely lost my mind and kept on spending on facials, eyebrow threading, expensive lunch, travel journals, fitness journals... honestly, everythign that is a no-no for a money saver... I messed it up big time and I dotn even dare to count how much I spent. also paid for one of my friends' travel because they did not have any money and they said they will give it back once they get cash but it might not happen soon...

And even on Saturday, I got a new bag, true I needed it, but still spending.. and lunch, and then we went out for dinner, and that was another £20.. honestly I am so scared I cant even face what I have done and cant even list what I have spent... birthday present for my friend, this and that... god, I !!!!!! it up. All on my amex. statement will be generated today, will be able to see it online tomorrow, I guess it will be around £850 - how horrid. I will have to pay that out of my april salary but this means hardly any money left to throw at debt..

And this is the same old story again, I know you all think that, this has happened to me three weeks ago, two months ago, etc, etc - I always do this and I never learn from my mistake. Gosh, I am down. and I am the only one to blame. trying to think desperately how to rectify thsi situaion but cant come up with anything - I messed it up. So thats why I didnt post an entry to the diary - so embarrassing.

On a better note, I discovered that one of my friends has debt problems and he is really scared about them, so I gave him advice and told him how to do credit card shuffle, etc... and also told him about the reclaiming of the bank charges, so hopefully he will claim them back. so at least I have done soemthing good and constructive this week, but still - honestly, you would have thought that after 6 months money saving I wouldnt fall into the trap.... not ncie at all. No plan, no hope, dont know what to do, I regret what I spent but I cant really bring anything back (how do you refund a stupid facial????) and the bag was actually the most sensible expense, only £35 and very big, I needed it. Oh dear.

Sorry this is such a sad post. I kind of lost the will to save, again. I seem to be either the most enthusiastic about my savings or the most careless person who buys anything... I dont understadn why.

deliciosa

and I have also spent £30 on cabs... i am so stupid.

Yargo1

Hey dont be so hard on yourself!!! your debts are so small and have shrunk so much from your lbm. Your diary is an inspiration to me , i have a long way to go and I think you have just had a normal blip! dont worry so much....

Skint_Catt

Hey hey! Don't worry (((hugs))) - we all have our weak moments!! Me more than most :mad:

Anyhoo, don't worry. The facial, threading etc makes you look even more fantastic (I'm imagining!), the journals can go back - or on eBay once read. The bag is an investment - £35 pretty good really considering it could have been twice that - if not more! Cabs and food just happen - friends are the influence there - I know!

Don't worry, try a smile even if you don't feel like it.

You've done so well so far!!!!! :j

Catt xx

Seaxwyn

Hi deliciosa

It's not such a disaster - you are well on the way to paying off your debts.

I hope you had a good time with your friends and thoroughly enjoyed the weekend!

Maybe you have been denying yourself too much and had to have a blow-out to compensate. Make sure you allow yourself a little leeway as you pay off the rest so that you don't feel totally deprived.

slowlyfading

This is not the end of the world, honestly. You've done so well so far and everyone is allowed to have slip ups sometimes, you just need to get back on that horse and keep going. (hugs)
Nicola x

deliciosa

Hello all, thank you for coming in and for your lovely words.

Yargo - I am HONESTLY not being hard on myself.. The amount I blew away is something that even a person who is not in debt would regret, too..… sometimes I am trying so hard and sometimes I just let go and don’t care. Thank you though for your encouraging words, it really means a lot. This debt seems so huge to me, even thoguh I admit its small compared to some other debts on this board…. Its just that I know now that I will be totally unable to pay them back by September no matter how hard I try. I am going to be 26 in May and I don’t know where I am going in my life because I won't ever be able to put together money for a deposit for a mortgage, I am sitting on a debt and I cant even control myself and I cant even stop spending… And the thing is, if this is a normal blip, then its quite a frequent blip… the same thing happened a few weeks ago, then the same thing two months ago…. This is not a blip, this is chronic shopaholism….

Catt - I doubt you have more weak moments than I do… Once Im ready to conquer the world with my savings, something comes along ad I just have to buy it… True I look amazing with this new facial but the journals cant go back - of course I have already written in them, so stupid… I was so enthusiastic about them. The thing I am the angriest about is the cab - I could have simply walked home for gods sake, it was cool and nice and only half an hour walk, both times! Or if not walk, then bus, tube, whatever! Just tried to smile but it looks like a pathetic grin. Thanks for trying

Nic: trying to get back on that horse - thanks for always being around. Feel like failing now. I don’t want to fail.

Seaxwynn - Hi - it feels like a disaster to me. I actually have been tempted to spend on my hsbc card! Thankfully I was able to resist, but can you imagine? Card will stay home from now on. I enjoyed the weekend, but now the reality (and the excel budget planner at work) kicked I and now feeling miserable. You are rigth that the reason for the blowout was the need to compensate… I don’t know how to balance saving & having a life. I either undereat or overspend. Whats wrong with me.

onedayiwill

Hi Deliciosa

It's OK to feel bad/miserable/guilty/wallowing about having had a blowout. I haven't been at this DFW stuff long enough to have had one yet, but from what I've read on the site it seems perfectly normal ...

One thing I learned recently was that if you are feeling down on yourself, set yourself a timelimit on feeling like this. When the time limit is up, try and take some positive step towards fixing the problem - even if it's just a tiny little baby step like peeking at the balances... baby steps are where we all begin, at everything.

slowlyfading

Have you got anything else you can put on Ebay? You do quite well on there it seems You won't fail, but there are always going to be bumps on the way. I'm always around if you need a chat, or a distraction lol.
Nicola x