How did you cope?

dizziblonde

babymoo wrote: »

ETA: How do you get out of doing something if you know that children will be involved and you can't face it? I have gotten to the point where I am just honest now and say I am not feeling child friendly today, sorry. People who really care wont argue and the one's who think I am selfish for not going to whatever event will not be hearing from me again.

I used to be very open about what we'd gone through so it was no revelation to anyone and just admit that I couldn't face it, but I wished them well for the day. Thankfully apart from one element in the family - most have understood that over the years.

Brighton_belle

babymoo wrote: »

Grimbal - I just don't know what to say. I am so very sorry. May I ask why the adoption/surrogacy option was removed? You don't have to answer, just intrigued as it is a worry of mine.

Babymoo, It could be that health issues that stopped her having her own baby also left her too exhausted/unwell to look after any baby/child, so would not be considered suitable for fostering or adoption.

BugglyB

Interesting you say Bitterandtwisted that its not the worst thing that could happen.

Part of my coping mechanism is that not having children isn't the worst thing that could happen. In my day job I see parents who have had children and then the child has become a drug addict, or been murdered or lost to a very violent relationship. Also I know of at least one couple who have lost a child to illness. So I think really, even though what I have is pain and grief its not the worst thing that could happen.

Some days that helps more than others!