Sister being bullied

katerinasol

Hi all,My sister is in secondary school and from what I gather she's not one of the most popular girls there (she's too kooky for that) but recently she mentioned that she's being bullied. I've seen it on Facebook - a few girls that look like teenage TOWIE wannabes keep being really horrible about her weight and generally really b****y and I gather they're like that at school as well.

I've backed her up online whenever I could and told her to have a thick skin and just find it funny that they're so bothered about it but deep down I'm quite angry as it's clearly making her upset.

Is there anything I can do? She doesn't want to get our parents involved as our mum would be really upset and our dad would go through the roof and probably punch someone.

She said she has to sit next to the main bully quite a lot at school and when she asked to be moved they refused because they 'can't move the whole class around because of one little argument' - this shocked me as she goes to a good school, top of the list in our area.

I suggested pastoral support and taking screenshots of the Facebook comments and bringing them in. I know it's the holidays now but she sounds like she's dreading going back to school and I want her to have a course of action ready if it carries on in January.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated we don't live together and I'm very protective of her and don't want her to get upset over those skanks.

DS4215

Can she not just block them on FB - they won't get any fun out of insulting someone who doesn't see it.

Don't most schools have a bully court or something similar where she can go - with evidence from FB/Texts, etc to get it resolved.

Mupette

Do take screenshots and print them off.. funny how these things can disappear....

Yes pastrol care are there to help and should be her point of call.

Remind her that men really don't go for the wanna be TOWIE look, too much fakery and time consuming, the eye candy, trophey girlfriend does take its toll, too expensive. And once they give out well need we say more.

Remind your sister how much she is loved by those that really matter,

Back in the 80's before this TOWIE rubbish, we had the girls in the 'IN' group and plastered the makeup on, these day's the same girls have ugly skin, damaged by too much makeup.. what goes around....

Thick skin and ignore.. oh and block on FB too.

peachyprice

Definitley take screenshots incase they disappear.

The school should have a specific cyber bullying policy in place. Perhaps you can contact them in the new year and discuss this with pastoral care/her head of year, taking along your evidence?

From her perspective it's probably nowhere near as embarrasing having your big sis come into school as having your mum come in.

RAS

The School has to have a bullying policy in place; research it. There should be specific rules on cyber-bullying as well.

Unfortunately without parental support it is unlikely that the school will take much notice, so she does need to talk to them.

balletshoes

I'd take the screenshots then block the bullies. Set her privacy controls so only her invited friends and family can see and comment on her posts. The bullies are not her friends so they don't need to be on her FB.

I'd also be talking to the school and insisting on a face-to-face meeting with the tutor/head of year. Bullying has to be nipped in the bud, there are way too many instances of online bullying added to school-time bullying, it bombards kids and can completely overwhelm them, leading to tragic consequences.

katerinasol

Thanks for the advice everyone, looks like screenshots are the way to go. I'll have a look at the school's policy as well, though the thing I'm worried about is that they won't talk to me because I'm not her parent or guardian. The problem is that our mum is quite timid and would probably get upset about it, while I tend to get angry instead. I'm not very good with the soppy 'people who really matter love you' stuff, would prefer to go in Harry Brown-style

balletshoes

katerinasol wrote: »

Thanks for the advice everyone, looks like screenshots are the way to go. I'll have a look at the school's policy as well, though the thing I'm worried about is that they won't talk to me because I'm not her parent or guardian. The problem is that our mum is quite timid and would probably get upset about it, while I tend to get angry instead. I'm not very good with the soppy 'people who really matter love you' stuff, would prefer to go in Harry Brown-style

if both of you go to the school together, could you keep each other calm and focussed? Write down what you want to say, and say it.

rdwarr

Were it really a "good school" then they would know how to handle bullying. I'm guessing the list that they're top of is one of exam results; there should be far more to a school than just that.

katerinasol

rdwarr wrote: »

Were it really a "good school" then they would know how to handle bullying. I'm guessing the list that they're top of is one of exam results; there should be far more to a school than just that.

One of my friends went there in the past and she said only the people who do well in exams are looked after and 'encouraged to strive for perfection', everyone else gets overlooked... so I wouldn't be surprised if this is one of those things, though my sister is doing well as far as I know.

babymoo

I was very much the un cool kid in my secondary school, far to indivudual for that. I got bullied by everyone through all my school life until year 9. I then snapped at the main bully and made it very plain that I wasn't going to take more carp from her. I told her I would rather be me on my own any day and be an individual than a sheep who follows the crowd and thinks she looks good. Everyone was so shocked by me standing up for myself that they started laughing at the main bully straight away and I got left alone from then on.

Far as i'm concerned your sister is the kool kid for being herself, now who other people want her to be. It is tough being bullied, I would go to pastoral care, I would also get your sister to get the head teacher involved and make sure the bullies are moved away from her. I thought it was supposed to be zero tolerancy on bullying nowadays, its not a petty little argument if your sister is getting this worked up over it. Demand that something is done, don't take it lying down. She and you will probably feel the better for standing up and being the one to get things sorted.

Good luck to your sister, she's better than them and they are only doing it because they can't be like her because theyre afraid of not being "popular".