Getting nose rubbed in it.

heretolearn_2

I'm not quite sure what you are saying here overall, but if you just need a vent, go ahead!

Are you sure it's definitely not just jealousy - or even just a tiny bit. All the comments about her not having to work and their kids getting private education, well, those are not really nice things to say, and don't make your relative a bad person. I wouldn't work if I didn't have to, and I wish my son could have had a private education.

Kids of civil servants/services parents posted abroad are provided with private education so they can board, and have a consistent home base, instead of being dragged here and there all over the world. It's not much of a perk when you consider their parents probably don't see them much...would you really prefer that for your children? You living in one country and them living in another?

Both my brothers are stonkingly 'well off' and have a totally different type of life to me and my sister, but there's no point being jealous about it. I certainly don't feel resentment - sure, I'd love the same opportunities, but there you go - but I'd absolutely hate it if they felt they couldn't tell me their good news because of the green-eyed monster.

So far all I can really wrong is that she was too 'tired' to come to your daughter's wedding. That is pretty weird, I agree. Playing devil's advocate, could there have been a personal reason they didn't want to discuss with you and just came up with a rubbish excuse instead?

But of course, a lot is in the manner in which they tell you. Just being in that situation, that's not them doing anything wrong, and neither is sharing good news with you.If they really are deliberately bragging, (I'm thinking of the 'considerably richer than you' comedy sketches now :-) ) that's different. But even then, you should just feel sorry for them, as there must be something of real value - and I don't mean financially - missing in their lives to behave that way. High standard of living does not always equal good quality of life, or happiness, or health, or anything really.

Muscle750

Rant over, yeah ill admit it it would be nice to be in that postion its just the fact they came off a south london council estate the same as i did. Im struggling big time and i realise alot of other people are.

Muscle750

Heartolearn i agree with alot you say, no it cant buy health or happiness you know ive just realised in the last ten years they have never been to our house. Althou weve been quite a few times of "one" of theirs lol.

thatgirlsam

Muscle750 wrote: »

Rant over, yeah ill admit it it would be nice to be in that postion its just the fact they came off a south london council estate the same as i did. Im struggling big time and i realise alot of other people are.

Aww don't worry about it

I used to work for an extremely rich lady, helicopter pad in the garden, they had everything

She told me she was envious of me!

Because I am thin!!

sassyblue

Ask her for the book back, and ask where the victorian glassware and paintings are because your dad wants them back.

The way she dealt with not coming to the wedding is out of order but the rest l wouldn't say they're rubbing your nose in it, that would be if they were squandering money whilst you were starving.

Honestly, if you had as much money as they do would you really still feel the same?

pukkamum

I have always lived by the wisdom happiness comes from people not posessions, my sister and her DH are very wealthy compared to us but they are always miserable, working all hours and barely seeing their son just to keep up with their childless richer friends, buying a house miles and miles from friends and family meaning hours of commuting for them both and their son, just because they could not afford the type of house (detached etc) they feel they 'should' have nearer to the city.

I worry that when they are old and grey they will look back at this period of their life and wonder why they did it.

We live in a council house, run one tiny very old car, go camping every year and very rarely go out, but we are very very happy as are our kids.

euronorris

basscadette wrote: »

lol:D I doubt it.

It's a fine line, true. Always depends how it's done and the history - OP sounds as if it's been going on for years - reminding her constantly that her close relative haves and she haves not!! Saying that, I have very rich relatives on both sides and I'm not in the least bit jealous - I aspire!!! Besides, as long as they buy me a nice present at christmas, then I'm happy for them.

And, of course, there are some people who see every one of your achievments as you 'showing off' and 'boasting'. Even if you didn't tell them about it at all, and they found out from someone else.

TBH, there were only a few things in that opening post which I would actually construe as a problem.

The calling to boast (if that's what it is), can be dealt with by saying 'Sorry, too busy to chat right now. I'll catch up with you another time.' and then putting the phone down. After a while of that, they'll stop calling.

I don't see why not working for 30 years, if you are willingly and happily supported by someone else (ie, not the state), is a problem at all.

Cancelling on the wedding at the last minute is annoying, I agree, but maybe this person suffers from ME or another illness that they just don't want people to know about. Could even be depression, or mental health issues. Anything. Hell, she could've lost a dear friend that day and was grieving.

I don't understand how the kids private education was funded by the taxpayer. Is this simply because one of them was stationed abroad, for the government, and receiving a nice salary? That's not the same as being funded by the taxpayer. He would've worked to earn the money, moved countries, and made sacrafices to have that job.

Stuff going missing from the Dad's house though, is not on. I would just ask them about it: Why did they take it and when will they be returning it.

As for the other items, well, that is down to the OP's father to decide and write a will about. No lists written by the OP or the other family member will be legally recognised.

As for the charging interest on a loan, well, it's not what I would do but then I don't know the situation. Maybe the parents asked for it? Or maybe they just felt that they should earn some interest in lieu of the interest they lost on having that money in savings.

So, in short, I think that the OP needs to stop paying any attention to what others do or don't have, and start looking at ways to improve her own situation if she's that unhappy with it. Because, honestly, her jealousy is screaming out from the thread and it's not doing her any good.

euronorris

Muscle750 wrote: »

Rant over, yeah ill admit it it would be nice to be in that postion its just the fact they came off a south london council estate the same as i did. Im struggling big time and i realise alot of other people are.

But that isn't their fault, is it?

I'm sure they worked hard to get where they are. And you did too. Along the way, they had some well timed lucky breaks, whilst presumably you didn't (or they came at the wrong time), which has led you both down different paths.

But again, that is not their fault. It's just life. And it's a bit !!!!!! at times.

elvis86

Muscle750 wrote: »

Rant over, yeah ill admit it it would be nice to be in that postion its just the fact they came off a south london council estate the same as i did. Im struggling big time and i realise alot of other people are.

I think this speaks volumes. Jealously, pure and simple. You resent the fact that you come from the same background, and yet he/she now has more than you.

scheming_gypsy

I don't know why people are saying the OP is just jealous.
Their sister (guessing that from some of the clues), was too tired to go to the daughters wedding even though she doesn't even work; and she possibly stole some of her mums possessions after she died. What exactly is the OP jealous of? yeah the 'sister' got lucky but it's no reason for her to act like she's better than the OP